THE CABINET COMES TO TOWN

Northern Advocate, 11 July 1936, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE CABINET COMES TO TOWN

The Inside Story

the past week there have

been enough Cabinet Ministers in Whangarei to staff a joinery factory. Top hats and limousines have become quite an accustomed sight in the streets of Whangarei, and, instead of offering the excuse of “having to go to the lodge,” leading citizens have been able to tell their wives that they are making a command performance before His Majesty’s Ministers. * * * « with pioneer settlement, agriculture was the first to breast the horizon. The Hon. W. Lee Martin said many things and made many friends, but took his departure without confiding in the people the secret which all are craving to know. Several

j By the Private D.

dairy farmers were seen surveying his hotel, with the thought, no doubt, of breaking in and taking the guaranteed price from his attache case. However, the secret remained inviolate. * * * * rpHE Minister of Railways came and went so quickly in his special rail car that fife future of this means of transport seems assured. Shortly, no doubt, we will be arranging with friends, to hire a “special” to run through to an Auckland theatre after the day’s work is done. Provided that there are not too many cows on the line and that the flying expresses are held in leash at wayside stations to allow us an uninterrupted run, we should easily accomplish the journey in three hours. * * * * latest Minister to appear pn the Cabinet panel has been the Hon. R. Semple, who quite lived up to his reputation of being a spicy conversationalist, and gave us many notable samples of what he can say. The intriguing part about Mr Semple is that he leaves so little unsaid, and says what he has to say so forcibly. He can infuse colour into such drab things as rusting machinery and potholed roads. Mr Semple says that if there is to be a stew he wants to be in it. The Private D. suggests that if ever the Ministre does become an ingredient of an Irish stew, he will almost assuredly be given the role of an onion, or maybe garlic. The Minister is not afraid in the least to laugh at himself, and when offered a taste of a poorman orange from a Whangarei orchard, remarked: “I’m bitter enough without that.”

ONE 0 NE of the highlights of the week

was when the Right Hon. J. G. Coates escorted Mr Semple over the famous balloon loop, a loop which has often been dangled warningly in front of its creator’s eyes. However, it was not like the schoolmaster taking the recalcitrant youth by the ear to the scene of his latest impractical joke, and the fact that the two gentlemen seemed to enjoy each other’s company so much made one wonder whether Parliament is not very much ' like wrestling after all. f- * * * H IS Worship the Mayor, in welcoming Mr Semple to Whangarei, regretted that we did not have any Motueka incidents in the district, which would have provided Whangarei with a chance of seeing ;Mr Semple in action. However, the Minister dropped a few hints, and bandylegged relief workers will have to practise a little auto-suggestion and googly-eyed shovel-leaners will have to see an oculist unless they desire to see two Mr Semples with the gloves on. **»• - - • ■ B Y his remarkable control of the weather—Pluvius’ please note —Mr Lee Martin has qualified for an even higher-paid job than the director of broadcasting. It is rumoured that be has received an offer from President Roosevelt to do the reverse and sprinkle the U.S. drought areas with a little of that moisture of which he so conveniently robbed Whangarei. However, it is doubtful whether Mr Savage will permit the export of a man who has the forces of nature so much under his thumb. There will be no need now to plough in every third row of wheat and kill off every fifth cow when depression next hits New Zealand. Mr Lee Martin will simply be detailed to turn the tap off or on, and limit production as required. A guaranteed weather plank, the Private D. suggests, would ensure for. Labour a flood of Northland votes which would drown all opposition. See how the press is helping you now, Mr Savage! • $ * • fjpHE Private D. has another suggestion to make and thinks it should be seriously considered in connection with the Dominion centenary, which falls due four years hence. Now that so many members of rotted boards have been equipped gratituously with running shoes, it would be simple to stage an ex-board members’ Olympiad which, I venture to suggest, would attract visitors frc-ni all over the world, and prevent them from becoming bored. The Government should take these ex-boarded boarders back on to their pay roll and spend the next four years in getting them fit for the 1940 contests. This could be arranged more easily if negotiations could be carried on through a union, to which all ex-board members had to become compulsory members. But, on second thaughts, I doubt if the whole thing is really practicable, because these men would then be bound by the 40-hour week, and could not possibly get fit in time. * * * « v 'pHE Mayor of Whangarei, in paying tribute to Mr John Wood, who accompanied the Minister as acting chief engineer, revealed a remarkable instance of second sight. “Don’t you remember, Mr Wood,” he asked, “the occasion when you were stationed here, and accompanied me to inspect the Hikurangi bridge before it was built?” Strangely enough, Mr Wood did not.