HERE AND THERE

Northern Advocate, 5 November 1932, Page 6

HERE AND THERE

(By "Maloja.") This week's funny story concerns a | man who mistook a bag of cement for \ a bag of manure, and then wondered why his potatoes did not- come up! 13 0 0 0 ‘ ‘ You sold me this cabinet ticketed ‘ origina 1 by Sheraton. ’ " "Quite so, sir; the original is by Sheraton!"

0 0 m is 1 was very interested in the address given last evening by Mrs Hurd-Wood the honorary organiser of the League for the Hard of Hearing. There is no doubt that a great deal can be done to alleviate the disadvantage of deafness by cultivating the practice of lipreading. Though the subject was dealt with in an exaggerated manner in the picture "The Man Who Played God," there is nevertheless much to be said for the encouragement of the art as illustrated in that picture. 13 0 [3 11

According to the finding of the United States National Industrial Conference Board "the farm worker of today is from 4000 to 12,000 per cent, more efficient than his great-grand-father was in the days of the flail and the scythe." -Going "back to tTio farm" seems today more of a "forward march."

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“I’ve forgotten what the other thing was T came tor,’’ said the small girl in the grocer’s shop. The grocer tried to he helpful. “Was it cheese, bacon, butter, mar-

garine lard, cocoa, sugar, jam, marmalade, biscuits, bottled fruit, piccallilli, meat, baking powder, soap, soda, spice, rice, tapioca, macaroni, currants, raisins— ”

“I remember now. It was, can you tell me the right time, please?”

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It is interesting to recall that Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, married an American girl, who became deaf and dumb when she was six years of age. Theirs was a devoted marriage, and the inventor studied the transmission of sound by electricity in order to converse with his wife. It would not be incorrect to say that love was a direct, influencing factor in the subsequent invention of the telephone. “In point of fact,” says a biographer, “Mrs Bell became a most accomplished lip reader. So did the members of the Bell family. I have been amongst thorn when they used their lips to, talk without making a sound. The only time they used their voices was when they wanted to bring me into the conversation.” 63 63 SI 63 It is said that lip reading of this expert kind is common in the Lancashire weaving sheds—because of the noise; and that occasionally you may see two operatives communicating in this curious way from one end of a tramcar to the other. 63 63 63 63 i “Now, Johnny, tell mo why the sun never sots on the British flag.” ‘ ‘ Because it’s taken in at night, sir.” IS . H S (a • This young fellow will have somo mail to deal with in the next week or two. The ’ ‘ Sunday Sun” (Newcastle-on-Tyne) relates that an Oldham greengrocer was surprised on opening a box of New Zealand apples to find the following note; —“This box of apples was packed on April 7, 1932,. by M. G-. Gilbert, whose address is R.M.D., Upper Mompese, Nelson, New Zealand. He is aged 27, and has never been kissed. He is unmarried, and has dark hair, blue eyes, is sft lOin- tall, and also has a baby car and plenty of money. He would like to hear from a woman who has fair hair, blue eyes and a nice disposition. Would a lady of this description write to him at the above address?” 63 63 63 63 Man Home from Australia (visiting native village after an absence of 30 years): “Well, Samuel, you don't remember me, eh?” Samuel; “Why, it be young Joe Porter. Bless ’o, I were only savin’ to Sarah yesterday Oi ’adn’t seed ’e about a-latelv.”

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■Superstition dies hard. Even the . tennis players of Whangarei do not seem to bo freed from thraldom. They, , or at any rate those who are members i of the Whangarei club, are convinced that a hoodoo, or a fate, or an enchantment, or something of the kind, is associated with the opening day of their season. On four occasions last year the opening day was postponed as a result of heavy rain. Eventually an opening ceremony was dispensed with, and the season “just growed.” This year, a similar fate attended the ofli- , cial opening of the season, which was fixed for successive Saturdays, and at last it was decided to fix a Thursday for the ceremony. “We, may dodge the hoodoo,” said a member. And they did, for the afternoon was beautifully fine. Apparently the male% - olent one is a creature of habit, and can’t I do on Thursday what it can do on Satjurday. | si @ a ei PLAY THE GAME. To set the cause above renown, • To love the game beyond the prize, lo honour, while you strike him down. The foe that comes with fearless eyes* To count the life of battle good, And dear the land that gave you birth; And dearer yet the brotherhood That binds the bravo of all the earth. —Henry J. Hewbolt.