THOSE SONGS.

Northern Advocate, 26 February 1925, Page 8

THOSE SONGS.

HILARIOUS "GAZETTE." Even that stodgy publication the Commonwealth Gazette sometimes has its moments of humour, says the Melbourne "Age." The latest issue contains a list of songs and musical works the owners of the copyright of which cannot be discovered. The list begins with the joyous title "Everybody Loves My Baby" —a pretty tall statement, especially if it is the infant next door. That young person has spread an epidemic of insomnia in the neighbourhood, and is than a watch dog. Noxt is "Shanghai Shuffle." People in Australia have only tlio vaguest notion of how they snuffle in Shanghai, but if American humorists are to be trusted, and they write with a confidence that seems to be born of intimate knowledge, the usual Chinese method frequently produces a full hand, or four aces, and often lays the shuffler open to be shot. The thing is suspicious to say the least. "Oh, Icon Can't Fool An Old lloss Fly!" Well, perhaps, you can't, but it seems a small thing to make a song about. Flies of any kind are difficult to fool. "Dreamy Weather" is another title. The writer must be a Melbourne man. "Bring Back Those Rock-a-Bye Baby Days!" Who wants to go back to the cradle any way? And who wants to go rocking cradles at 3 a.m. any more? This must have been written by a man entirely ignorant of cradles and their awful significance. "Sister Hasn't Got a Chance Since Mother Bobbed Her Hair!" There is some mystery here. Did mother bob. sister's hair or her own? If she bobbed sister's hair she must have made a bad job of it, and if she bobbed her own, sister's young man must have gone after mother. Of course, sister would retaliate. There is no doubt a sequel called "Now Sister's Got a Shingle, Mother's on tlie Shelf." Next conies."Go Long, Mule," which sems to be an exhortation to a lengthy half-bred donkey. "Go, Emmaline!" Yes, Emmaline, you had better go. You are de trop, not wanted, in the way, quite superfluous. Brot'her Fred is busy with someone's daughter. Get out, Emmaline "I'm Just a Ragged Newsboy!" Just that! our ] sympathy. Better to be a ragged ragtime artist. What about this one? "801 l Weevil Blues!" We would like to hear more about that. It is to be supposed that every cotton grower gets the blues when he encounters tho boll weevil, but is that what it meant? Perchance it is the boll weevil that is. getting the blues. Let us hope so, and t'he bluer he is the better. "Cold j Weather, Papa!" Seems to be a re-j mark made by a dutiful child to its j parent on. a chilly morning. Perhaps papa has the blues, too. Serve tlie old man right! "You'll Never Get to Heaven With Those Eyes!" Tough luck for you. You must be a bold, bad villain or a dainty little maiden who hands out a glad, wicked twinkle, and set old hearts gambolling and young ones galloping. What a shame! Still, it is o.Hy one point of view to a gentleman whom you have deservedly scorned. There must be lots of chaps you have told that, heaven will be no good to the in. "I Wasn't Scared, But I Though I'd Better Go!" Oh, discreet young man! Of course, you weren't scared. Who'd dare say you were? You just thought that if you stayed you might accidentally kill him, and so you went. "Where Have Those Old Timers Gone?" What a silly question! Where do you suppose. There are only two places possible. Heaven is one of them. "Life and Love Seem Sweeter After a Storm." That's it! You roar up the wife for burning the chops, and she roars you back.. The neighbours watcii you at it, and when the storm is over life and love with the other lady do seem pretty sweet. To finish with we give you "Cieszmy Sie." Take one packet of fly powder, distribute it iu the air, breathe hard through t'he nose, and then.—"Sieszmy Sie! "