LET ENGLISH FLOURISH.

Northern Advocate, 27 January 1922, Page 2

LET ENGLISH FLOURISH.

SOME ILLUMINATING EXAMPLES. , At the inaugural .meeting- of a new club "to -study and to ma,in/tttin the English language," it was said ithat - we spoke better than people of sixty or seventy years ago. The following conversations are oft'ered a.s a commentary on ithis statement. (Overheard by William Maas, and published in the London "Daily Chronicle.'') First Member (rising to gicet a ncwcorner): Cheer-i-000. Second Member: Salaam. First Member; Flutter down, hearty fellow. (As they sit.) Toll me now. . . . Are we down-hearted^? Second Member: In the pink, old bean. First Member: Topping fellow. Second Member: Last night's rag was a wash-out. Archie did tihe dirty 011 us, silly old poo<t. His Amnzoon put the zephyr up him —threatened to demob him if he wcait jazzing. He got in a hairy old fuink and wouldn't carry on. First Member: Oh, vewy cwisp. And Pollock? Second Member: Polly got narked. Said Archie wasn't a pukka sahib. First Member: Tell me now, peeved? Second Member: Absolutely. First Member: Quite. Second Member: Archie gave our binge a miss, but 1 heard he huddled on his glad rags as soon as the coast was clear, mid went off up west to have a bust oil his own.' Fin>t Member: Old poot. Second Member: Touch anything on the Cambridgeshire? First Member: Dropped <i monkey on the head waiter's cert. Sceond Member: Eotten game. I got let in over some nigger stock; waded in up to my neck. Sent the guvnor an S.O.S. Nothing doing. Fiist Member: Rotten world, what! Second Member: Touching the liquid, old sport ! First Member: Sound the Klaxon. Second Member: Perfectly top-hole bniin-vrnvo, wihat? First Member: Waiter, two tonios. Second Member: Priceless old pal.

IN THE SWEET.

Young Enid: He wasn't half rat<ty. Young George: Go on. Young Enid: Pwankpot! Out with Ms "bird, he was, ami had the sauce to give me. the glad eye. I told him off proper. Young George: Go on. You Jig Enid: Tried to get off wiith me, he did. But I did iliim down—fair. Young George: Put it across him? Young Enid: You're right. Trying to <'onie that game over me. Saucy hound. I'm fed up with him Young George: Bores me stiff. Young Enid: He',s the. frozen limit. Young George: Reckon you're Tight. Young Enid: Na poo to his sort. Young George: Nothing doing. Young Enid: This child won't click, that's a fack. (A siren sounds.) Young George: S'long, Enid. Young Enid (with appropriate grimace) ; 00-er! IN THE RESTAURANT. Reg: Don't give me the biff, old thing. Jill; You <?an't w.ork the oracle, Reg. Wihole thing's a blinking swiz. I'm fed up. Reg: I tell you I've got a dinky stunt in pickle for old man Hardface. Jill; Oh, your dad's a dud. Reg: "Wait till I've salted the tail of any parental dicky-bird. Jill: He's a .miserable bow-wow not to cough up Reg: I'll gaff him and squeeze him for a flivver, bet you. Jill; Talking through your toque, Reg. You're right, put some buck into me. Jill: Diddums, then. j Reg: Oh, rot. , Jill; Don't bo a mizzv-mizzy blighter, Rog. Reg: I don't want to grouse, old comrade. Jill: Buck up, sporty old thing. Reg: I don't feel exactly comic, do I? Jill: Cheerio. We'll go on to Bertie's and have a merry old jaz. That's put some pep into you. Now be a pretty little gentleman and give me a fag. Rog: Gasper? Jill: Ta. Reg: More fizz, old tiling? Jill: Just the tiddiesr tpot.

IN THE PLAYING FIELD. Mother; But why don't you like For3US Son; He's such a siriey ratter. The ■wfiv ho skunks >al>out his pater's.splosh gets any goat every time. Last bolls, he wi-s insufferable. As if money made any diff. brother: His mother is such o dear. Son: She'? a jolly old sport. Full of buck. Dauci-s Al. But Fergus is a snidy kid He's a rotten bat, and can't play pills -or toffee. His bowling's putrid. Mother: I thought he was .so clever. Son: Little fug Absolute rabbit at squash. Makes me'tired. Thinks he's the hefty hero, too. Kids himself he ca-n get off with flappers. Silly little mug. No, old thins, I've no use for Fergus. Mother: Well, Topliag's a nice boy. Son: Uni, not so dusty. •can p-!t some beef into his swipes. Useful drive at go-lf, too. He's swatting like billio to get into the Sixth. He can mix a cocktail. Useful cihop, Toplincr. Pater's a elergical nabob. Mother: I though he was a Bishop. Son: .Just what I sfid, little lady. Let's fade away. Here's the head; awful old pic-jaw. CThcv stroll away out of hearing.)