Invaluable.

Northern Advocate, 25 November 1893, Page 2

Invaluable.

Winebicldle— l flatter myself that I told some pretty good stories at the Art club dinner last night. Miss Tillinghast— l quite agree with you. What a boon the comic papers are! — Vogue. A 3lodest Request. "Bumpus," said the realistic novelist to his intimate friend, "you once said there was nothing in the world you ( would not do for me." I "Well, I meant it," said Bumpus. "I lovo you like .1 brother." "Then you can help me with my novel," said the writer. "I have a scene wherein the villain takes poison ♦ and drops writhing to the floor. Now, I've really never seen anybody take poison and drop writhing to the floor, and unless you do it for me I'll have to go back on my principles and draw on my imagination. Will you do it?" — Harper's Bazar.

She Heard It. The enraptured young man drew the shapely head with its golden curls close, close to his heart. "Do you hear it throb, darling?" he asked. "Y-yes, Harold." "What does it seem to say?" he whispered. The dear giii listened a moment and answered softly: "It says 'tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,' Harold." — Chicago Tribune. His Mistake. A gentleman traveling on the Great Northern railway, having delivered his luggage to the care of a porter, made himself comfortable in the corner of a carriage. The porter came to the carriage for the "reward of merit." "Well," said the gentleman, "I see by the letters 'G. N. R. on your cap, 'Gratuities never received.' " "A little mistake, sir," replied the porter. "It should be, 'Gratuities never refused.' "—Tit-Bits. Her Part of the "Worry. One of Washington's bright women was present while her husband discussed the financial situation. "I nmst confess," he said, "that the money market has worried me a great deal." "It wasn't the money market that worried me," observed his wffe. "What was it?" "It was the market money." — Washington Star. Paying the Price. Here is an amusing story of two tramps, one of whom had spent the night in a London workhouse. "What," said one, "dyer mean to say they gives yer a good blowout and a night's lodging for nothin?" "For nothin?" said the other. "Not much. They makes yer have a warm bath first all over."— Toronto Globe. __ Suspicions Wealth. Kitty— Did you see Mr. Ferris when you called on him? Tom— No, but I gathered from a hasty inspection of his room that he is a sharp but unprincipled man. Kitty— Why, what did you discover? Tom — Three silk umbrellas in the corner. — Truth. She Objected. Mr. Fastley (making a Sunday evening call)— I understand, Miss Kostick, that you are an expert mind reader. Won't you please experiment upon me? Miss K. — Excuse me, Mr. Fastley, but I don't regard your mind as a proper subject for Sunday reading. — Life. A Heavy Burden. A rather plain lady asks the opinion of her minister, "Is it a sin to feel a trifle of vanity when I am called handsome by a gentleman?' "Not a sin* for you, my child, bxat a terrible responsibility hangs upon the gentleman." — Tit-Bits. WJiy He Returned. "Look kc\V' said Mrs. Taddells to Hungry Higgins, "didn't I give you a dinner yesterday?" "You did, madam," replied Higgins, with a courtly bow, "and one good dinner deserves another." — Detroit Free Press. He "Was, He Was. A — lt was Lawyer Townsmun that won my lawsuit for me. B— Why, I thought he was on the opposing side. , A — He was. — Chicago Record.