WISECRACKS

Mt Benger Mail, 9 February 1938, Page 4

WISECRACKS

Humour with a Real Kick—but all in Fun During an earthquake in South America, a chasm several feet wide appeared on a golf course. One player promptly drove off and for the first time in his life did a hole in one. S f , German conjurors are forbidden to use edible articles in the performance of. their tricks. A correspondent says that the manufacture of omelettes in top-hats should he permitted if they are anything like the ones his wife produces from the frying-pan. 5 $. Murder in the bathroom is the theme of a new move!. It is thought that the author worked it out while waiting outside one for half an hour on a cold morning. } $ We read trat most people talk more in the Summer than in the Winter. Probably the explanation is that football fans seldom get their voices back before the Friday after the Saturday afternoon before. § $ A baker has written his will on a biscuit. It is to .be hoped that after the lawyers have had their nibble there will be a few crumbs left for the legatees. S § An essayist says that Scots are not talkative and believe in saving their breath to cool their porridge. The trouble is that they often save their breath to blow their bagpipes. { S The headmaster of a Yorkshire school is allowing the pupils tQ have a firework display in the playground. He is all in favour of good school reports. « # Last week a witness in a Ger-. man court lost his temper and punched the magistrate on the nose. It is nice to know that rather more respect is shown to the beak in this country. i * The persistent howling of a child, a psychologist tells us, is only its way of asking for something. It usually gets it, too. ' f i “Men dislike the woman who shuts herself up in a glass ease,” remarks a novelist, Especially if there’s no other telephone-box in the vicinity, These amusing quips were gathered by “The New Idea,” the threepenny weekly for Australian and New Zealand women, This paper has an amazing variety of reading matter.—Short stories, Articles, Departments, and a fine Serial,