HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 63, Issue 181, 3 August 1938, Page 13

HUMOUR

i The only thing that over caused at argument between the husband and wife wiu her dog. Arriving home one evening he found hie wife busily engaged in combing and brushing it. “Look here, Jane,” he cried, “are you using my comb on that dogf” “Yes, dear,** hi# wife returned sweetly, “but you needn* worry. I washed the comb first.”

A man asked for a telephone number and when it came it was the wrong one. “I’m sorry I gave yon the wrong number, ” said the operator when he protested. “Don’t mention it,” replied the caller, with heavy sarcasm. “I’m sure the number you gave me was much better than the number I asked for, only it just happened I wasn’t able to use it.”

It was the first match of the season on the village green, and a large crowd from the neighbouring district was watching. The star performer of the home side was the local doctor, a bowler of more than usual ability. Near the end of the game, one of the local worthies came on to the field. 44 How’s doctor doinhe asked his neighbour. 44 ’E be doin’ foine,” came the reply. 44 ’E’s taken foive wickets and ’as fower new patients up to now.”

The Count: “Please write on th< prescription that it must be blu< blood! ”

The plumber was a mild sort of man, but he could not get away from the fact that his assistant was terribly lazy.

For a long time he said nothing, bui at last he could contain his exasperation no longer. “Bill, you get on my nerves standing there with both hands in your pocketsl For Heaven's sake take one of then out! ”

Smith was returning home one night when cries for help attracted his attention. A big man was beating a much •mailer individual. “Leave him alone l’ 9 shouted Smith, and then knocked out the big man with a well-timed uppercut. “Thanks, ’* said the little man, after he had pulled himself together. “Now, look here, you share this ten-bob note 1 sneaked from his pocket. l9