HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 63, Issue 48, 26 February 1938, Page 11

HUMOUR

I After examining the window for a •long time the little girl entered the shop.

“Have you a nice toy costing about eightpence?” she asked. “I want it for a present for my little sister.” “Well,” said tho shopkeeper,” there’s a doll. It really costs a shilling, but I’ll let you have it for eightpence.” “Oh, no,” replied the child. “If you’re knocking fourpence off everything I’ll have one of those fourpenny painting books.”

The blacksmith’s sweetheart entered the forge just as he paused to wipe the perspiration from his face. “Shall wo go to tho pictures to-night, Jake?” she asked. “Nay, lass,” he replied, “I’m playing darts for the club.” Sho stamped her foot angrily. “I’m tired of you and your silly old darts! ” “Come, come,” pleaded the blacksmith, picking up the hammer, “a man must take exercise sometimes.”

An American tourist had an invitation to shoot over a large estate in England. On the evening before th# shoot he went to see the gamekeeper. “Say, I’m one of the crack shots it the States,” he said. ‘‘To-morrow you ’ll be loading for me, and for every bird I miss I’ll give you half a dollar.” After the shoot the gamekeeper went to the local pub and recounted the American’s boast to a friend. “And how did you get on?” asked the other. "Fine!” retorted the game-keeper. “If I’d had another blank cartridge I’d have made a level fiver!”

A woman who engaged a Chinese as cook asked him his name. “Me name San Toy Lee,” lie sauL “Ah, your name is too long,” the woman replied. “I will call you John.” “All right,” responded John. “What’s your name?” “Mrs Charlotte Anne Hemingway,” she told him. “Your name too long,” remarked John. “I call your Cholly. ”

The Negro witness was being crossexamined about a former friend. “Do you suggest he is a thief 1 ,f asked counsel. *‘l don’t say he's a thief, sah,’ replied the Negro, “but Ido say dis. If I was a chicken, an' I saw him loafin ’ around, I'd sure roost high.”