HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 61, Issue 276, 21 November 1936, Page 9

HUMOUR

I “Is Mr.’.Smith at home?” inquired I,the stranger. 1 “Which one, sir?” asked the maid. “There aro two brothers living here.” * For a moment the caller seemed at a loss for an adequate description; then he had an idea. v ; “The one who has. a sister living in Liverpool,” ho explained.

A little boy was seen sitting moodily on his frout doorstep. . . “What makes you so miserable?” a friendly neighbour inquired. “Well,” replied the boy, “if I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t eat up sister’s lipstick—even for spite.” <s> <t> ’ <J> <S> “Norah,” said a mother to her little daughter, “Crandpa died yesterday and you must not play the piano.” “It’s all right,” answered Norah, “I’m only putting the black keys down.”

They were entertaining friends m their new home. Suddenly ono of the guests sat up and listened. “Surely you're not troubled by mice already ” she said. “That's not mice,” replied the householder. “That's the people next door eating celery.”.... <s>" <e> <*> <?> “Heavens! Don’t say you listen to the radio! ” . . “Not often. But occasionally there are.one or two quite decent, little items to sneer at.”

“Sir, I think it right to inform you that your daughter has decided to become my wife." “Well, young man, you surely don’t expect me to interfere? You might have known something would happen, hanging round this house every night."

The long hitter drove too soon from the tee, while an elderly bow-legged member was still playing his second. The drive .passed between the latter’s legs. . “Sir,” he bellowed, when they met later, “that’s not gon, confound you." “I know,’ replied the long hitler, modestly, “but it’s jolly flue croquet."

“Children, what are you doing here?" - ‘‘We’re -playing merry-go-rounds, Mother!" - • .