HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 60, Issue 133, 8 June 1935, Page 9

HUMOUR

Ee action. “Why,” asks a tailor, “does the average man dress so badly?’ ’ Because tlio average wife dresses so ;tven. <s><s><»><£> Welcome “I tope my visits are not disagreeable?” “Ho,” said tke invalid. ‘‘However gloomy lam when you come, I’m always liappv when you go.” <s><•><£<*> More Than That. “What was more patient than Job, wiser than Socrates, braver than Lancelot,, more handsome than Apollo?” “Oh, so you knew my wife’s first husband?”' '

Sound Advice, A concert in aid of one of the village charities had been arranged, and all the local “stars” were booked for a turn.

Miss Elsie Hands, the baker’s daughter and a noted soprano, was announced. Before sho commenced she apologised for her cold. The piano started.

“I’ll hang my harp on a weeping willow r - tree-e-e —Ahem i

“On a weeping willow-trec-c-9 —Oh!” Her voice cracked on the high notes each time.

Elsie tried again, but was unsuccessful. Then a voice chimed in from the back of the hall'.

■'Try ; auging it on a lower branch miss,” it said.

Not Really. Mrs Briggs was vigorously powdering her face beforo going out. “Why do you go to all that, trouble?” asked her husband, who was patiently waiting in .the hall. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “Modesty, my dear Henry,” she re plied.

<s> <£> Reciprocation. When Mrs Maggs and Mrs Daggs met in the street, both dressed in their best, they stopped to exchange mutual admiration. “My!” exclaimed Mrs Maggs, ad« miringly, "you do look a lady, whatever you might be!” Mrs Daggs was not to bo outdone. “And you, my dear,” she gushed, “are a lady, however you may look.”