HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 60, Issue 92, 20 April 1935, Page 9

HUMOUR

No So Deaf. After much struggling a young man had succeeded in getting a front gallery seat. A man sitting behind touched him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, ” ho said, “my wife is almost deaf. Coui'd you make room for her 3 ” The other made room with some discomfort, but reflected that it was in a good cause. It was not long before the man squeezed in beside his wife. The obliging theatregoer suffered agony. Later on the man who had pushed in yelled at something on tho stage. "That a good joke, Annie, ” he said, loudly. ‘‘Don’t shout .at me,” expostulated his wife. “Anyone would think I "'ns deaf.”

Biter Bitten. Swindler: Madam, I have called for •the suit of clothes which needs brushing and pressing. Lady of the House: What suit. ‘‘Your husband’s Sunday suit ma’am. He called at tho shop as ho went down this morning.” “And he said I was to Vet you have It?” ' “Ycs’m.” v “Did he appear in good health and spirits?” « “Why, certainly.” ‘‘Look and act naturally?” “Of course. Why do you ask?” ‘‘Because he has been dead IS years, and I have some curiosity on the subjeet.” “I; —I have made a mistake, perhaps!” “Perhaps you have. The man you saw go out of here an hour ago is my. brother. Good morning.”

Short Cut. It was a very dissatisfied tenant who approached the landlord of the new house. “Look here,” he said, “that house I’ve just taken from you is horribly draughty. I’ve spent pounds on heating arrangements, but wherever I sit my hair is blown all over my head. Can’t you do something about it?” Tho landlord shook his head. ”l’m afraid not,” he replied. “I think it would be easier and cheaper for you to get your hair cut.” <?> <s> <j>’ <S> Grand Slam. “Good morning!” said the canvasser. “I have here a simple gadget to prevent doors from slamming—” “Not this door, thank.you. ” <»> <s> <s• <S> Out Of The Hunt. ' "Didn’t you have any luck at the races?” “Luck! When my horse passed me, I learned over the fence, pointed and yelled, ’They went that way! ”

Twice Shy. When little Betty was about to go to her chum’s party her father gave her a few hints .on. how she was to comport - herself. “If they ask you to dine with them c- r you v 'must-say, "No, thank you I have nlready dined.’ ”. When she arrived, however, the first r sbing licr chum’s father said to her ~ was, “Como away, Betty, and have a Lite with us. ” "No, thank you,” replied the mannerly maid, “I have already bitten.” 1..’. 1 .,e0 hsha! .wfacdhnp