ALL THE WORLD HIS OYSTER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 7019, 19 September 1929, Page 9

ALL THE WORLD HIS OYSTER

Altercation in Fish Shop

COULD NOT PAY FOR HIS SECOND HELPING

The world may not bo Hilsey Shoot’s oyster but he expects good measure for his money when he does indulge his taste for the delectable mollusc.

On Tuesday evening, he found his way into a fish shop in Cuba street where he ordered a plate of oysters—not undersized or anaemic oysters, he let it bo understood, but the largest and juiciest w’hich the genus ostrea is capable of producing. Short is apparently an epicure in the matter of oysters, for after rejecting two or three shell-fish which in his opinion failed to measure up to tho standard set by the best oysters, he dealt very capably with the regulation plato-full for which the customary charge is 2s. Ho was not one of those, however, into having macto a desert, called it peace. With an appetite to which his initial endeavours had added fresh zest, he called like Oliver Twist, for more, and unlike the unfortunate Oliver, was promptly served. He decided that these were good oysters as oysters go, and as oysters go, they went.

But as some sage has observed, it is just when life has become one glad sweet song, that Fate sneaks up behind and deals one a buffet with a piece of lead piping. With two plate-fulls of oyster added to an appropriate quantity of that liquid refreshment which is popularly supposed to add zest .to oyster consumption, Short can be excused from feeling that all was for the best in the best of possible worlds. Searching in his pocket for the monetary recompense which he felt due to the purveyors of oysters, Short tacked his way to the pay desk to settle that necessary reckoning which must close every day, however perfect.

But this was fated to be one of those painful occasions on which a customer proposes and the proprietor disposes. The management could not see eye to eye with. Short in his proposal that 2s would be sufficient to discharge hie obligations for two plates of oysters, and an altercation developed in which that beatific spirit of well-being imbued by oysters, quickly departed. . It was then, apparently, that Short erred, by raising his voice to high heaven and denouncing the fish shop proprietors in terms which brought upon him the wrath of the law. Among the interested, audienco which listened to Short's pungent description of the failings of the purveyor of oysters, was Defective Barling, who promptly collected the incensed one and put of harm's way for the night. Yesterday morning, tho Oyster King made his appearance before Mr J. L. Stout, S.M., in the Magistrate's Court to answer a charge of using obscene language in a public place. Hands nonchantly in pockets-, Short, pleaded guilty and was fined £1 with costs. Apparently, such had been his love for oysters, that he had spent his last 2s. on their behalf, and he asked for time in which to, find the amount of his fine. He was given 24 hours in which to raise £l, and in the event of failure, informed that ho would go to gaol for 7 days.