HUMOROUS EXCHANGES IN BRITISH POLITICS

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 7003, 31 August 1929, Page 2

HUMOROUS EXCHANGES IN BRITISH POLITICS

Repartee and Otherwise CANDIDATES DO NOT INVARIABLY SCORE There were occasional flashes of wit and humour in the course of the British election campaign. Fell Into Trap. A Labour candidate at Nottingham fell into a trap laid by a woman heckler, when she elicited the promise, "If I get in, your husband will have more work.” "Are you sure?” asked the woman. A wiser mao would have hesitated, but the Labour candidate lunged. "Quite sure,” he declared. "What is your husband?” "A gravedigger,” was the crushing reply. Mr J. H. Thomas, whose experience assured him that advantage over the man in tho body of the hall which all good candidates enjoy, was accused of having "sold” tho workers. Mr Thomas turned this heckler’s plural into a singular by shaking his head sadly and saying, "No, my friend, I did not sell you. There was no bid.” Wait Till They Get Their Eyes Open! A Labour success was achieved 1 ’ expense of Mr Emrys-Evans, t'.« servative candidate for West Li where Mr Pothieh-Lawrence was >.... . ing in the Labour interest. A black cat walked into Mr Evan’s committeeroom, and took possession of a bundle of straw in the basement. Later in the contest three black kittens were added to Mr Evans’ potential supporters, a fact which was hailed as an omen of victory, being held to presage a throefigure majority. Tho fact was mentioned at more than one Conservative meeting, until a Labour supporter pointed out that while the three black kittens might be Conservatives at the moment, "Wait till they get their eyes open; they’ll be Socialists at the end of nine days.” Mr Dewar Gibb w r as following a forlorn hope at Greenock on behalf of the Conservatives. Mr Gibb chose to rely largely upon personal canvassing. On one occasion he knocked at a door and was greeted by an elderly Scotswoman, with a dour expression which promised trouble. Mr Dewar Gibb asked the old lady what she thought of the four candidates. "I ba’e seen them a’,” was the reply, "and thank guidness only yin can be chosen.” Very Likely. The candidate was encountering un-looked-for opposition. In a wholly hnd equally stormy warfare he had come off second best against a resourceful, determined band of witty hecklers. "Who brayed then?” he demanded in a loud voice, and paused triumphantly in the silence which greeted this. As he made to recommence his speech a voice sang out: "Perhaps it was only an echo, guvnor.” One Good Turn. Conservative canvasser in Toxcth: Madame, we have called on behalf of our Conservative candidate, Mr. . Will you vote for him? Voter: Oh, no. lam voting Labour this time. Canvasser: Why are you going to vote Labour? Votor: Because the Labour Exchange has been very good to me. Dignity Rebuked. The local candidate had been speaking for a considerable time. A lady with much dignity asked him had he ever served in the army during the war?

The speaker replied that he had not. "Well,” said the lady, "how can you dare dictate to all these peoplo the principles and doctrine of the political progress of this country and the line they should take when you yourself shirked your duty, not only to your country, but to your wife and children.” The speaker replied: "Madam, 3 was never in the army. I was in the navy. ’ ’ A Classic Election Reply. The best reply, so far in the election, of a candidate to a heckler must surely be that of Mr Somerset Stopford Brooke, the Liberal candidate for the Guilford Division. Mr Stopford Brooke is in his early twenties. Ho was president of the Oxford Union a few years ago, and is a relative of the famous divine. A Tory lady at his meeting at 'the village of Elstead put the question: "Don't you think you are too young to go into Parliament?” Mr Stopford Brooke replied: "Well madam, I would rather go into Parlia meat in my first childhood than in my second.” That ought to become a classic in this age of youth. Another of his scores with hecklers was when a drunken man interrupted a meeting. The candidate said: "This a public meeting, my friend, not a public house. ’ ’