SUNSHINE CORNER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6991, 17 August 1929, Page 10

SUNSHINE CORNER

NO DANGER. Jean: Did ye sec in the paper that a loving couple were poisoned through eating chocolates? Jock: I fancy I did, lass, but what about it? Jean: Nothing, except that I was thinking—er—how safe WE are! THE SILVER LINING. “Thankful? What have I got to be thankful for? I can’t even pay my debts.” "Why, man, be thankful you’re not one of your creditors.” CURE FOR OVERSLEEPING. Jones: Funny how I oversleep myself every morning. Know of any good cure! Smith: Yes. As soon as you get into bed start counting how many drinks you have had that night. Jones: But I thought that dodge was to got you to sleep. Smith: No. This one is to keep you awake all night. HE FELT THE PINCH. “There ought to be only one head to every family,” exclaimed a speaker at a political meeting. “That’s true,” replied a worriedlooking man in the audience. “You agTee with me, sir?” said the speaker. “I do,” replied the man; “I’ve just paid for hats for nine daughters.” TIT FOR TAT. Scottish Minister: How is it, Angus, that. you are never at church nowadays? Angus: To tell yer the truth, the sermons are far tae long tae suit me. Minister ( Wrathfully): Ye’ll probably end up in a place whaur ye’ll hear no sermons either long or short. Angus: Ah, weel, maybe ye’re richt, but it’ll no be for want o’ meenisters. THE CLOAK OF NIGHT. “The evening wore on,” continued the man. who was telling the story. “Excuse me,” interrupted the would-be wit, “but can you tell me what the evening wore on that occasion ? ’ ’ “I don’t know that it is important,” replied the storyteller, quite unperturbed. “If you must know, however, I believe it was the close of, a perfect day.” MOST DANGEROUS. Jones: “I want to ask you something. Smith: Fire away. “Well, now, what would you call the most dangerous calling?” “I should say a steeplejack or a fireman.” “I don’t agree; I suggest that the most dangerous calling is calling a man four times your size an idiotic ass.” IDIOTIC. A magistrate was speaking sternly to a prisoner. “You have used this pom-half-witted fellow most unmercifully,” he said. “You have beaten him cruelly.” “But lie attacked me first,” interrupted the prisoner, “and he is a rascal and gives us no end of trouble on the farm. ’Tisn’t mv fault that he’s an idiot, your Honor.” “No,” replied the magistrate, “but you should always remember that idiots, after all, are men like you and me.” THE SAVING WAY. McPherson had taken his wife to buy a new pair of boots. After she Bad tried on several pairs the decision rested between a pair of black boots and a pair of brown shoes. The husband wanted her to have the brown shoes, but his wife preferred the black boots. However, she changed her mind, and bought the brown shoes. When they were leaving the shop McPherson remarked: “I’m glad ye changed yer mind, Maggie; look at the tins o’ blackin’ wo’ve saved!” a COLLECTOR. One Sunday morning several urchins were playing in a doorway with cigarette cards, when an old lady, home front church, swooned down and' gathered up all the cards, saying indignantly: “You bad, naughty boys to play cards on Sundays. Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves?” One of the boys said: “Ere, you give mo back nty cards,” but this she refused to do, when the smallest and dirtiest boy piped in: “Never mind, Bill, let 'er have ’em, can’t yer see she’s a collector?” My Dear Hub, I do like thetse skilltests. They arc much more interesting than the jumbled rivers and things. We are all longing for the summer, it is so cold and wot. I know your proper name because I saw the name of the lady who told the bed time talc. I would like so much to be able to see you like Joseph did. I think he is a lucky boy. I have a little baby sister called Christine, she is such a dear little thing, and is 15 months old. With love to you and the Cogs from HUGH. Kimbolton. Dear Hub, How a le you? Itn’t it awful weather. I know a good many of your Cogs, a lot that go to Te Arakura have joined. I know Keith Thomas, Frank' Carr, Ada Jones. I also know Mabel Milne, because she used to be at Apiti. I would love to be back there. I don’t think I will go in for the skilltests that is in the paper to-day, because it is rather hard, but I will go in for some of the others. I had the jumbled rivers all ready to send in and I forgot all about it till it was too late. I had them right too. Doesn’t Julia write nice letters and Rex interesting ones. We have ten cows in and the first one to calve was a mouse-coloured cow. We call her Mouse. Her calf is going a bit mousie, but I call it Bunty, because it bunts. Our school was burnt a little bit last Tuesday week, so we had three days’ holiday. My sewing was burnt and I was doing an apron. I am going iu for the scrap-book competitions, because I. think it is lovely. I am sending you some jumbled names of girls. English towns, and insects. YVONNE BENNETT.

FATHER SPARROW’S TUG-O’-WAR ( By Elizabeth Clark ) Father Sparrow was perched on a twig, talking very fast and very loud to Mother Sparrow, who was sitting on a nest' full of eggs. It was early in the day, the sun was shining brightly, the monkeys were chattering, birds were hopping and chirping —it was a pleasant morning, but Father Sparrow was cross. He had been down to tbe river to bathe, in a nice shallow place he knew of, and there was the Crocodile, half in and half out of the water, filling up the whole of the bathing place! And when Father Sparrow scolded him, he only opened his mouth wide and laughed (it was a very wide mouth), and said, lazily, “I shall stay here just as long as I please.” So Father Sparrow was very cross, and as I have said, he was telling Mother Sparrow all about it, when suddenly, bump, somebody very big crashed against the tree, which rocked and swayed so that Father Sparrow nearly fell off his twig, and if Mother Sparrow had not sat very tight the eggs would certainly have rolled out of the nest. “Eeally there is no peace in the forest this morning,” said Father Sparrow still more crossly (and I think he had some excuse). “Now who can that bo?” He flew down to see, and there was a big grey back and a little grey ta-.l disappearing amongst the trees. It was Brother Elephant taking a walk in the forest. “Stop, Brother Elephant!” said Father Sparrow with a loud chirp. “Do you know that you have nearly shaken my wife off her nest?” '“Well,” said Brother Elephant, “1 don’t mind if I have,” which, of course, was very nide of him; he might at least have said he was sorry. “You don’t mind!” twittered Father Sparrow. “You doirt mind! I 11 make you mind, Brother Elephant, and if you shake my nest again I’ll tie you up!” ~ Mother Sparrow gave a little chirp of surprise, and Brother Elephant j chuckled. “Tie me up then,” he said, “you’re quite welcome to do it; but you can’t keep me tied, Father Sparrow, not even if a thousand sparrows tried’ ” _ „ “Wait and see,” said Father Spairow. Brother Elephant trumpeted with laughter and went crashing and trampling through the forest, and after a little talk with Mother Sparrow, Father Sparrow flew down to the nver. The Crocodile was still there, fas asleep and filling up all the bathing place. Father Sparrow chirped indignantly, and the Crocodile oened one eye. “I like this place,” h» said “You may like it,” said Father Sparrow, “but I can tell you this, if I P find you here to-morrow I’ll tie you UP “You may lte me as much as you like ” said the Crocodile, shutting his eye again, “but you can’t keep me tied, Father Sparrow—not if a thous and sparrow tried.” “Wait and see,” chirped Fathc* Sparrow; but the Crocodile was ±as. asleep again. So Father Sparrow flew He was very busy all that morning, talking to all bis sparrow friends, and next day they were all up very early

and working hard. There were quite a thousand of them, and they had a long, long piece of a creeper that grows in the forest, and is nearly as strong as the strongest rope. Presently Brother Elephant came crashing through the forest. Bump] ho went against Father Sparrow’s tree. (Mother Sparrow was expecting him, so she was not shaken much). “Well,” said Brother Elephant, “here I am! Are you going to tie me up, Father Sparrow?” “Yes,” chirped Father Sparrow, “I am going to tie you up and hold you tight,” and ho and all the other sparrows pulled, and pecked, and hopped, and tugged, and fluttered (you can imagine the noise they made), till the rope—it was really a creeper, of course, but we will call it a rope—was tight round Brother Elephant’s big body. “Now, Brother Elephant,” said Father Sparrow, “when I say ‘Pull,’ pull.” “So I will,” said Brother Elephant,

shaking with laughter, and he waited, while Father Sparrow aad all the other sparrows flew away with the rope, tugging it through bushes and tall reeds to the riverside. There was the Crocodile, in Father Sparrow’s bathing p’ace, and when he saw them he laughed. “Have you and your friends come to tie me up, Father Sparrow?” he said. “Yes,” said Father Sparrow. “I am going to tie you up and hold you tight.” ‘Tie away,” said the crocodile, and the sparrows pulled, and peeked, and ehattered, and tugged, and hopped, till the rope was tight round the Croeb'flilfe’B long body. “Now,” sraid Father,Sparrow, “when I say ‘Pul,’ pUIL”: ‘ The/Crocodile was too lazy to answer Jnie only chuckled till the water rippled,..round him, and the sparrows flewiwayV. Then Father Sparrow perched himself ohi the middle of tho rope among th'o'niuhies, where neither Brothei Elephant nor the Crocodile could see him; "ami?of course neither of them coulr .nefi: V the other. “Pull,” cried Father; Sparrow in a very loud chirp,

a and Brother Elephant gave a great a tugw “That will surprise Father Spar's row,” ho said. But it was really Brothg er Elephant who was surprised, because from the other end of the line e came such a jerk that he was nearly i] pulled off his feet. Of course he 3. thought it was Father Sparrow", but as 1, you know it was the Crocodile, who ’’ never meant to trouble to pull at all; l! he was far too lazy! He thought it r was Father Sparrow pulling too, and was even more surprised than Brother I Elephant. “What a strong sparrow n he is!" said the Crocodile. “How r- hard Father Sparrow can pull,” said I, Brother Elephant, and they both pulled n and pulled and pulled and pulled, e Sometimes Brother Elephant pulled 3, hardest and the Crocodile was nearly t pulled out of the river. Sometimes the Crocodile gave a jerk, and Brother Elcd phant had to twist his trunk round a ’ tree and hold on. They were really just about equal, and neither could S, move the other on inch. It was a wonderful tug-of-war. Tho sun rose high in tEe sky and began to creep down towards the west; they grew ho: and thirsty and tired. The sparrows laughted at them when they puffed and grunted and panted. Each of them thought, “I wish I had not laughed at Father Sparrow." And still they pulled and pulled and pulled—they were so very ashamed and tired. At last, just as tho sun was beginning to slip out of sight, Brother Elephant said in a very small voice: “Please tell Father Sparrow that if he will stop pulling and untie me, I wiL never be rude to him again." Just as the same jnoment the Crocodile said to himself, “All the animals will be coming to drink, and how they will laugh when they sec me tied up here!'" and he called, “Please, Father Sparrow, stop pulling and untie me, and I will never take your bathing place again.” “Very well,” chirped Father Sparrow very loud; “very well, very well" (which was the same as “Hip, hip, hurrah!" would be for you and me), and the sparrows hopped, and pecked, and pulled, and chattcre till they untied Brother Elephant, and ho went away with his head hanging down, terribly ashamed or being beaten by “ Father Sparrow. They untied the [ j Crocodile too, and he crawled in among r the high Teeds that grew by the river and hid himself, dreadfully cross bcs cause he had been tied up all day. Neither of them ever knew they had g really been pulling each other, and l- after this Brother Elephant walked quietly, so quietly, in the forest, and o the Crocodile let Father Sparrow 1. bathe in peace. n As for Father Sparrow, he and all u his friends flew away and told their i- little wives all about the tug-of-war. Then they put their little heads under i- their wings and all went fast asleep, e It had been a very busy day! a The Story Study The tale of Father Sparrow is adapted from a West African fable, which i- reads very like the counsel of some r wise elder' to the chief of a little 3 tribe, set between two overbearing neighbours; and this is what it prohl- ably was before it became a popular g tale. •« . ! The keynote of the story is one e which, as pointed out in the note- on a “The Tale of the Bad Little Jackal," d constantly recurs in folk tales; it tells i, of the small creature contending by craft and audacity against bulk and " strength. Such a story as Father Sparrow’s Tug-of-war suggests man’s grow-, ing realisation that might is not necessarilv right. It is a glimpse of an order in which weak things shall be able to hold their own against the strong. UNCLE PODGER HAirGS A PICTURE. You never saw such a fuss up and down a house, in all your life, as when their Uncle Podger set out to hang a picture. “You leave this to me, he said “Don’t you, any of yon, worry about this. I’ll do all this." Then he took off his coat and began. He sent the maid for sixpence worth of nails, and then one of the boys .after her to tell her what size to get. From that he worked up and soon had the whole house going. “Now, you go and get niv hanunci, Will," he shouted, “and you bring me the rule, Tom. Then I shall want the step ladder. And Jim! You run round to Mr Goggles and say, ‘Father’s kind regards, and he hopes your leg’s better; and will you lend him your spirit levDon’t you go, Maria, bcca-usc I shall want somebody to hold the light. When the maid comes back I shall tell her to go out again for some cord; and Tom! Tom! Where’s Tom? Tom, I shall’ want you to hand me up the picture." 1 He would then lift the picture and drop it. It came out of the frame, and then he cut his finger on the glass. Then he was springing round the room, calling out for his handkerchief.. He couldn’t find it because it was in the pocket of his coat, and he didn’t know where he put it. Everybody had to leave off looking for his tools and look for his coat while he would dance round and hinder them. “Don’t any of you know where my coat is? Six of you, and you can’t find my coat that I put down not five minutes ago- Well of all the . He got up and found he had been sitting on it. “I have found it now. I might have well asked the cat to find anything, as asked you people to." When half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger and in getting a new glass, and in bringing the tools, he began again, with the whole family helping him on to the chair, and then one of them passed him a nail. He took the nail and then dropped it, and had half the family down on their knees groveling for it, and then stood on the chair and grunted and ask if he was to be kept waiting all night, and then he would drop the _ hammer on someone’s toes, and then wonder where the hammer was gone; < and then he would have lost sight of t thte mark. Everybody would have r to get on thte chair beside him and 1 look for the mark, and then he would 1 discover it in a different place. He s would call us all fools and toll us to 1 get down again. While he was mak- i ing a new mark three inches higher i than, was possible for him to reach, i the string slipped, and down he came i on lo thte pin no. Some fine music was c made by the sudden bump with which s his head and body would strike all tho ' notes at the same tune. When he was 1 ready, the first blow of tho hammer ho smashed his thumb, and with a yell he

dropped tho hammer on some one’s toes. Auntie Maria was grumbling, and lie said that he liked a little job like this. Then lie would give a hard blow, with which he would be thrown against the wall with nearly enough force to flatten his nose. At midnight the picture would bo up, very unsafely, and the wall for yards round ■was as though it had been smoothed down wit lia rake, and everybody worn out but Uncle Podger. “There," he said, stepping heavily on Maria’s foot, very pleased with his job, “I told you I could do it myself. Bent in by FREDA ATA E (Mangawhata.)

THE AWFUL NOISE. Gray: Terrible storm wc had last evening, wasn’t it? .Smith: Oh! I didn’t hear it. Gray: Didn’t hear it? Why, man alive, where were you? Smith: At home. An old schoolmate of my wife's, that she hadn’t seen for years spent the evening at our house. NOT EASY. Peep: I’m going to be a tightrope waiker. Pry: You’ll have to take lessons. Peep: How’s that? Prv: Even the rope has to be taut.