SUNSHINE CORNER RIDDLES.

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6972, 27 July 1929, Page 10

SUNSHINE CORNER RIDDLES.

What, are the most disagreeable articles for a man to keep on hand?—Handcuffs. What made the fly fly?—Because the .spider spied her. Why I- a horse like a stick of candy? —-The faster you lick it the faster it goes. What, part, of a house is impertinent* A stair. Why isn't, it safe to dress before potatoes? —Because they have eyes. What men have been, aud always will be, on a strike? —The stone-eul--11 rs. Why do old maids go to church early?—To be there when the hinis are given out. Why is not your nose 12 incites long? —lt would then be a foot. Why is an old oak tree like a tight, shoe? —Because it produces a corn. AVJiat two letters make us food?— At. and H will make us mush. AVhat nation produces the most marriages?—Fasci nation. Why do you always put on your left

shoe last?—Because when you have put one on the otlies is left. AVhat thing is drawn more frequently than another?—Cork. AVhy is a beggar like a baker?—Because he needs (kneads). AVhy is the United States mint like the moon? —Because it gives us quarters (silver). Ten men’s length, 10 men’s strength, 10 men can’t tear it; a little boy walks off with il? —A rope. AVhy is an old maid like a tomato?— Because she had no one to male her. AVhat men art: always losing their patience (patients) ?—Doctors. AVhy arc chickens’ necks like door bells'? —Because they are often rung for company. AVhy is a ropemaker like a poet?— Because he makes lines.

AVhat can pass before the sun without making a shadow?—The wind. AVhat "s 1 he difference between a gardener and a billiard marker?—One minds his peas arid 1 lie other his cues. AVhich is the merriest sauce?—Caper sauce.

AVhv is a very amusing man like a very bad shot? —Because he keeps the game alive.

In what condition is a beer barrel when it resembles old-fashioned curtains?—When its tap is drv (tapestry).

AVlicn is a kitten like a teapot"— when your teasin’ it (tea is in. it).

AVhat is that from which you may lake the whole and yet have some left?—The word whole-some.

AVhat Was the first gift made by woman?—A Cain given to Adam by Eve.

When is a lamp not a lamp?—AVhen it is alight. AVherc can happiness always be found? —In the dictionarv.

AVhy is the sun like a good loaf? — Because it is always light when it rises.

Why are crockery-ware dealers unlike all other shopkeepers?—Because it won’t do for them to chack up their goods. Why is a hill like a pill?-—One is hard to get up, (he other is hard to get down.

Where was Moses when the light went out?—ln the dark.

Why does a woman keep a secret?— It, is pretty siire to be with telling effect. On what: foe does a corn never come? —Mistletoe. When is a ma like a biscuit?—When toasted.

What colour is a newspaper when you are through with it?—Red. Why did the drv goods box?—-Be-cause it saw the bargain counter. Why is a dog’s tail like an old man? —Because it, is infirm. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?—At the bottom of the page. What dance do bakers most prefer? —A-bun-da nee. When' a boy falls out of a window, what does he fall against?—Against his will. Will a t bird does a mischievous boy l.kc best? —The lark. Full to the brim, without crack or scam. An egg. How does a goose resemble a cow’s tail?—Both grow down. Up and down, up and down, touching neither sky nor ground. Pump handle. Why is a dead hen better than a live one?—Because she will lay wherever you put her.

Wliat Slate D round at both ends and high in the middle?—Ohio. What one letter in the alphabet will spell potato?—The letter O, put them down one at a time until yon have put eight o’.=.

What miss is alwavs making blunders’—Mistake. If you were doomed In the dnkc. could you have a preference?—Yes; 1 would prefer beef-steak. Which bird can lift the heaviest weights?—The crane. If I wore to see you riding on a donkey, what fruit should I be reminded of ? —A pear. What i.s the difference between a gardener and a Chinaman?— One keeps the lawn wet and the other keeps the lan nd ry. When arc handcuffs like knapsacks? —When they are made for two wrists (tourists). Why is a dirty rug like a bad boy?— 'Because, both need beating. How many days has a year?— 32s, because 10 days arc T.ent. What things grow larger the more you contract them?—Debts

Why is the letter U like the sun?— It is the centre of light. Why did tho lobster blush?—Because it: saw the salad dressing. When does love become a pitched battle?- —When it conics to an engage* ment.

When is a boy not a boy?—When ho i". abed.

Who was the strongest man in the Bible?—Jonah, because the whale could not keep him down. Why is it almost certain that Shakespeare was a broker? —Because no man has furnished so many stock quotations. What is that which a gentleman has not and never will have, but may give to a ladv?—A husband.

BETTY BEE. Betty Honey Bee was standing at the Beehive door ail ready to go out, her little baskets at; her sides. “I wish those clouds would run away,” she said. For Betty kuew that on a cloudy day her neighbours kept their doors tightly closed and she could not make calls. And what was the use of going out- if you could not make calls. “I did want to go to Madame Willow’s,'’ said Betty to herself. And once again she sighed. But just then the sun. peeped out and said. “Goud morning,” and before Betty kuew it the dark clouds had run away to hide behind the hills. Happy once again. Betty Bee looked down to be sure that her baskets were open, and then she flew oil’ with a happy song, right into the sunshine.

It was a long way to Aladame Willow’s house. But it was early spring, and Betty knew that it was the only house that would be open yet. Betty had hunted and hunted just the -day before to sec if some of her neighbours had not opened up some of their summer houses. Bhc had found not one ready to receive. But Aladame Willow had been putting up her blinds, so Betty knew that she would be At Home to-day, A Little Messenger. Betty didn’t know just why, but as soon as ever the sun came out aud said

“Good-morning,” her wings always began to move, her little hands went to her baskets, and a song came in her heart. And something bigggr aud stronger than herself kept pushing her and saying, “Now you may gu and be my little messenger.” And then she knew that she was free to go. On this bright sunny day, now that the clouds had passed, Betty flew over the stream aud past the maple tree and over beyond the lilac bushes ami on and on beyond two oak trees. Then she was right at Madam AVillow’s door. And Madam AVillow’s door stood wide open in the sunlight. “Come in, conic in,” said Alarlam Willow in tree language. And as B'ettv Bee understood tree language quite as well as any other, she flew right into Madam AVillow’s drawing-room and began chatting with her. It- was a lovely drawing-room, was Madam AA’illow’s, all done in light grey velvet with green trimmings. And everything was fresh and clean and sweet with sunshine and spring air. And she served her guests with little sips of nectar and with tiny pollen cakes. If you heard Betty Bee and Aladam W illow chatting you would have heard only a buzz. But in bec-tree language they were really having the nicest sort .of sunshine morning chat. “It is very good of you to ask me in.” said Betty Bee.

“I always like to have any of your family about,” said Aladam Willow. “AA’on’t you hare some breakfast?”

Bottv thanked her hostess as she sipped the nicest, little glass of clear, clear syrup, and ale the tiny pollen cakes that Madam Willow gave her. When Betty had finished her lovely feast, she suddenly began to think. “1 came for something etse.” Then she remembered, and in her sweetest voice she said: “Now, dear Madam Willow, won’t you let. me do some messages for you?” Pollen Cakes. .‘’Why, yes, any dear,” said Madam Willow, ‘‘l’d be so glad if you would take some little cakes to your baby brothers and-sisters. I'll let you help yourself, and I hope you’ll fill your baskets full to overflowing.” ‘‘Oh, thank you, Madam Willow. I know the babies will enjoy your little cakes. ”

Now Bet-ly had a strange way (known only to her family) of filling the tiny basket at. her sides with pollen cakes. She flew all round Aladam Willow’s drawing room and' brushed her skirts against the cakes as she passed. Then with one hand she shook the cakes from her skirt into tho tinv baskets at her sides.

“Oh, my, just sec how much there’ll be for my babies! ” Betty Bee kept saying. And she sang and sang for happiness. (You would have called it just a buzz, but for all that it was a real song of joy.)

When Betty had her baskets full to overflowing with tiny pollen cakes, she began to think again, and was not satisfied. She had not come to do messages just for her own family. She was sure there was something else for her to do before going home again. “I want to do some messages for you yourself,” said Dotty happily.

‘‘Do you. my dear?” said Madam Willow. ”1 am so glad. I have been waiting for some kind friend to be my messenger. You .see, I have to stay here and entertain my friends and can’t gel. on without a messenger. And Mr Wind .who often runs my errands has not called to-day. You arc the very first to ask this year. I wonder if you woftld take some litllc pollen cakes to my cousin, .just three blocks away. .Tusl gather all you can on your liltlc skirts again, and she will take them from your skirts when you get there.” So Betty Bee gathered little pollen cakes once more upon her skirts and left them there to take to Mrs Willow’s cousin. And as Betty flew those two long blocks with tiny cakes all over her wee skirt; there was not a happier Konev Bee alive.

I DANNY DUCK GIVES ' HIS MOTHER A PRESENT. (By Rcba Mahan Stevens). Danny Duck had six Huffy yellow brothers and sisters who lived with him in the low house beside the duck pond; but if you asked Mother Brown Duck, when she was half-napping on the sunny bank, bow many children she had, very likely she would have answered absent-mindedly, '‘One!" Because the six small brothers and sisters look so little of her time and attention I hat she was apt to forget them. But Danny Duck! Dear me, how- could she ever overlook him for one single instant! Not that Mother Brown Duck called him naughty. No indeed! She would never have permitted cither herself or anyone else to call him naughty; but he was, she had to admit, very trying! Every morning when Mother Brown Duck lined her family up in an orderly

row and taught them earnestly just, what little clucks should ami should not do, Danny sat quite still with his head tilted attentively to one side and a most angelic smile on his funny little face. But half an hour later he would very likely be found doing some one of the very things he had been taught not to do.

A full hour every morning before Mother Brown Duck was ready to get j tho family up, Danny began squirming [about, giving disturbing quacks of restllcssncss; when AJother Duck led the way, at. hist, to the feed yard for breakfast and six little ducks waddled behind her most obediently. Danny made all sorts of side trips into Iho weeds and bushes; and when finally, she had them one and all safely there, v.'lint should Danny do but go running about mulct; the taller fowl, hall’ upsetting many of them, and gobbling more grain than was necessary for any small duck. Later, when they went into the water and the six little brothers and sisters circled about their mother like tiny boats about a big ship, Danny swam swiftly out of hearing ami made the most reckless dives after bits of weed and tempting morsels. Yes, without a doubt, Danny was try*

Old Mr. Drake. There he was now—iu the very middle of the pond. Just a moment age. when she had closed her eyes for a comfortable nap on the sunshiny bank lie had been beside her. But Old Mr Drake was with him and so Mother Brown Duck knew he was quite safe. All the young ducks about the place had been taught that great respect was due Mr. Drake; but Danny had a way of making himself quite friendly with the stately old gentleman. When the other small ducks glanced timidly up at him in passing, Danny grinned goodnaturedly. Perhaps that was the henson AIT. Drake liked Danny. At any rale, there they were—old Air. Drake sailing along majestically with his neck arched royally, and Danny, head erect and eyes shining with happiness. ‘‘Danny,” quacked the old fellow, and Danny quivered joyously with expectation for sometimes this was the way Air. Drake began to tell a story. ‘‘Danny.”

‘‘Yes sir,” replied Danny with the very best of little duck manners.

‘‘Danny, you and I are friends, aren’s we?’.’

‘‘You bet! ” said Danny with the very worst little duck manners in tht world.

Mr. Drake lucked down at him odd It for a moment and then a twinkle came into his eyes as he went, on. ‘‘ So we are! So we are! And because we are friends I am going to tell you something.”

This sounded quite confidential and grown-up. Danny puffed out his downy chest until it looked as though lie had swallowed a toadstool whole, and waited breathlessly. Old Air. Drake cleared his throat with a long ‘‘Ahem!” ‘‘Danny,” he said, ‘‘l do not think you love your another properly.” Poor little Danny Buck! Danny Duck not love his mother! Why, her soft feathers over him at night were the dearest, thing in all the world; no sound he had ever heard was so sweet as her voice; on the' pond he looked at her with such pride and said softly to himself, ‘‘That’s my mother!” All his little heart grew warm with love at just the thought of her. ‘‘l do love my mother properly!” blurted out Danny in a tearful voice. Old Afr. Drake cleared his throat again with a thoughtful quack. “I know, I know,” he agreed. ‘‘But anyway, Danny, I want you to swim once around the pond and think it over,”

Danny Duck swam quickly away toward the edge of the pond and started on his trip around it, more upset and bewildered than he had ever been in all his life. Not love his mother! "I do love, my mother! I do love my mother! I do love my mother!”, lie said over and over to himself, keepingtime to his paddling. Halfway round the pond, what, should he come upon but; the sweetest bit of a crumb floating on the water. Another and then another of the same delicious sort led him nearer and nearer to tlw bank, and finally tempted him out of the water on to tho grass, where tvvn tittle girls sat sewing. And as Danny waddled about, picking up their scuteed cooky crumb? he listened to the pretty sound of their voices. Mother’s Day. “I hope my mother will tike thitowel. It. is the prettiest thing I knew how to make, but. it isn’t nearly pretty enough to tell how much I low her, ” said Little Black Hair. ‘.‘And I hope my mother will like this handkerchief,” answered Little Yellow- Hair. “Isn’t it nice to have a regular Aiother’s Day?” Danny Duck quite forgot that he. was to swim clear around the pond. Instead, he plunged into the water with a great, splash and set out across the very deepest part toward Air. Drake. The moment he came within hearing, panting and spluttering, lie called out abruptly, “What is Mother's Day?”

Now Old Air. Drake didn’t know one single solitary tiling more about Aiothnr's Day than Danny did, but he thought for a minute, took a long drink, cleared lbs throat, slowly, and, “ Aiother’s Day?” said ho, “Well, it is a day—a day especially fur mothers.” This sounded like a good beginning and feeling quite encouraged and rather proud of himself, lie. went on, “Just for mothers, you know. A day when—when we do nice things for them—” “And give them presents?” interrupted Danny excitedly. “The little girls over yonder arc sewing things for their mothers. Afv mother doesn’t like sewed tilings. What could I give my mother? ”

“Well,” was the slow- reply, “I know what your mother would rather have than anything else because L heard her tell ATr?. Gaddy Goose so only yesterday.” Danny was delighted.

‘‘What is it? What is it!” he demanded, churning the water into ripples in his excitement. Old Mr. Drake looked down his long bill at his little friend and said, “A nice, quiet, comfortable day of rest,. That is what she wants most, if you ask me, and it. is something you can so easily give her if you will only pay a bit. more attention to being obedient.” What more he might have suggested we shall never know for just then, across the water, came Mother Brown Duck's voice calling, ‘‘Danny! Danny! Come in, mv dear! ” “In a min—” Danny started to cali

back but right in the middle of it. he turned himself suddenly and started pell-mell for the bank, leaving old Mr. Drake with a broad smile on his wise old face, . If Danny waked a full hour before the rest of his family the next morning no one knew it. for he kept as still as a mouse though it was the hardestthing he had ever done. "When at last they were up and on their may to the barn yard Danny waddled demurely along behind his brothers and sisters, looking neither to the right nor to tnc left. In the crowd and confusion of the morning meal lie came at once to his mother’s side in answer to her ‘‘Quack! Quack!” and ate what she pointed out. Not once did he leave his own family to push and scramble about among the other fowl. When they went for their swim Danny made one of the obedient little flock beside the proud mother, riding the tiny waves in great delight and never once going beyond the sound of her voice. Did he lag behind when she turned toward the band? Not he! t'p he hopped on to the grass and set himself to work arranging his clean wet feathers before the noonday nap.

Long before dark—in fact while tho sky was still filled with all the pretty colours that Danny loved to.watch, Mother Duck led her family homeward, nodding a ‘‘Goodnight” to a neighbour here, and passing the time of day with another there.

‘‘lt has been a fine day!” remarked old Afr. Drake, as they met in the path. ‘‘A wonderful clay!” agreed Airs. Brown Duek in her happiest quack. “A most wonderful day. Afr. Drake —• quite the pleasantest day I’ve had in a long time.” “A fine family you have there. Alw. Duck!” said the 'stately old fellow. ‘‘AH good children, I suppose?” ‘‘Yes, indeed,” was the quick reply. ‘‘Everyone good! If you should aslc me, I realjy eoundn’t tell you which one has been the best child to-day,” and she looked them over proudly. Old Afr. Drake gave each yellow head a fatherly pat in duek fashion an.l beamed kindly upon them all. Good-night, Airs. Duck!” he quacked. ”1 wish you many more happy days like this one. Good-night, children!" And, holding his head very erect, became a fowl of Jiis standing, he waddled awav. "