THE CHESTNUT TREE

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6948, 29 June 1929, Page 13

THE CHESTNUT TREE

No Need.—Wife (going to seaside): “Good-bye, dear. I will write to you very soon.”

Husband: “But, dear, the money I gave you should last a month.”

Time and Labour.—Manager: “I thought you said you could do that job in an hour?" Cassidy: “Bedad, I’ll do that job in an hour if it takes me all day.”

Complete Success.—“ There goes a fellow who chased round for years trying to land a political job.’! “Well, what does he do now?” “Nothing—he got his job.”

Dope Chaser.—A tramp knocked at a kitchen door and said: "Please, kind lady, I’m a sick man; the doctor gimme this medicine, but I need, something to take it with.” The lady was ready to help. “Poor fellow,” she said, "do you want a spoon and a glass of water?” The tramp answered: “No, ! mum, I wouldn’t trouble you; but this medicine haster be took before meals. Have you got a meal handy?” * * * A Lesson Learned.—An employee of a large and flourishing business concern was given a paper to sign which he regarded somewhat dubiously. “Lots of reading bn it,” he remarked, as he perused it before appending 'his signature. “There is,” agreed the clerk who had given him the paper. “But I’ll bet you didn’t read your marriage licence as carefully as you’re reading that.” “P’r’aps not,” said the other. “But ever since.l signed that I’ve been reading everything.” * • * The Fat in the Fire.—Little Johnny was carrying home the dish that had contained his father’s dinner. Suddenly there loomed in front of him the figure of Tommy Snooks, who was a bully. “ ’Ullo, Johnny,” exclaimed the bully, “d’you mind if I kick that dish?” “Not a bit," replied the boy. , “D’you mean,” persisted Tommy, who saw himself likely to be disappointed in his hopes of hurting somebody, “that you don’t mind if I kick tjiat dish?” “No,” said Johnny. “In fact, I should like to see you kick it." A moment later the dish was In pieces. “Now do you mind?” "Not a bit,” said Johnny. "You see, my mother borrowed that dish from your mother this morning. Perhaps you'll hear about it when you get home.”