SUNSHINE CORNER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6912, 18 May 1929, Page 10

SUNSHINE CORNER

Not His Fault. Mother: Johnny, did you spill this ink on the tablecloth? Johnny: No, mother. The ink ran cut all by itself as soon as I knocked over the bottle. A Good Answer. “Vow, Tommy,” said the teacher, “can you describe the meaning of sousense? ” “Yes, sir.” said Tommy. An elephant hanging over a cliff with hip tail tied to a daisy.” Laziness. Mother (to her small son): Millie, I hoar you were caned to-day at school. 'What was that for? WilLie: AVcll, muinmie, you see, teacher told us to write au essay on t.bc result of laziness, and I sent in a blank page. Tommy: Who broke your window, Jimmy? Jimmy: Mother; but it was father’s fault —’he ducked. Little four-year-old Mary and her mother were bathing in salt water, when her mother ducked her. Mary: Oh, mother, what awful bath salts they use here! “A little bird told me what kind of a lawyer your father was.” “What did the bird say?” “Cheep, cheep!” “Well a duck told me what kind of a doctor your father was.’ Teacher: Now who can tell rue the highest form of animal life? A hand went up in the back seat. Teacher: Well, lam glad to sec we have one smart boy in the class. Well, Johnnie? Johnnie: The giraffe, sir. Dick: Have you ever communicated with the fish? Mick: No. Why ? Dick: Haven’t you ever dropped them a lino? •uopieS oi)} du Sip or psuf eq ejojoq 0} posn puuqsnq aj\t :sauop suj\r •Aiouq no a ‘opeds ti spuds u sq-sa punqsnq :q}juis suW

SOMETIME Mv aunt has a pockctbook With many places in it For money and a handkerchief, To find them any minute. The place that’s in the middle Holds the little money tight, And when you open it you have To press with all your might. That place is lined with velvet, And the pennies cuddle down And shut their eyes and go to deep Until you get to town. And then you have to press the clasp. And pay the man the money. And aii the pennies roll around And think it’s very funny. A pockctbook is very nice. And some time my aunt may Give hers to me for all the time--not tako it .way. CONUNDRUMS These are simple catehes, in whicu the sense is playfully cheated, and arc generally founded upon words capable of double meaning. Tho following are examples : i , Where did Charles the I’irst s executioner dine, and what did he take? He took a'chop at tho King s head. When is a plant to be dreaded more than a mad dog?—When its madder. What is majesty stripped or its externals ?—lt is a jest. (The in and the v externa]?*, arc taken 2-wa) )• ... . Why in hot bread like a caterpillar —Beeau-e it’s the grub that makes the " Whv are bankrupts more to be pitied than ‘idiots?—Because bankrupts are broken, while idiots are only crack - I ? Why are sugar-plums h^. e J —Because tho aero you lick them the faster they go. .. Whr aro journalists like chickens? Because they have to scratch ior P h 'wh’ot was the difference between Noah’s ark and Joan of Arc?- -One was made of Gophir wood and the other Maid of Orleans. He Knew All. “What is wrong with tins picture?” wore the words in heavy typo beneath the sketch showing a man and woman walking down the strccct arm-in-arm. Robert aged six, read the words and studied the picture in silence for some minutes. Then he turned to his father. “Dad,” he said, with a wicked grin, “I bet, I know what’s wrong with i<H’iu!” His father looked at the sketch. “What is it?” “AVcll,” returned the boy, “I 11 bet it ain’t his wife.”

Chairman: “Miss Smith, the famous soprano, wili now sing ‘Oh, That I Were a Swallow, I’d Fly.’ Member of Audience, “Point of order, Air Chairman, excuse me, but some of us at the back here would like tho lady to describe a ‘swallow-eyed -fiy’ before she starts to sing.”