SUNSHINE CORNER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6900, 4 May 1929, Page 14

SUNSHINE CORNER

Teacher (to little boy): JohD, if we get honey from bees, where do we get wax from? Boy: From your cane, sir. “I sure feel relieved.” “How’s that?” “I just finished paying for the Wrist watch my wife bought mo for Christinas. ’ ’ “I’m beginning to believe in for-tune-telling. ’ ’ “Why? Something come true?” “Yes. A fortune-teller told me yesterday that I would have some money left me, and to-day I had fourpence left after paying my wife’s dressmaker’s bill.”

Tourist (from New York): But what makes these western prairies so flat? Native: Well, stranger, we think it must be because the sun sets on them every night. “The police think they’ve uncovered a new murder mystery.” “What are the circumstances?” “Over at the library they found a man’s nose buried in a book.” Customer: “I asked you specially for small potatoes, and you sent big ones.” Greengrocer: “I don't know why you’re so particular. Time you cut the bad out they’ll be the same size as the small ones. ” Billy came home from school bearing every evidence of having had a fight. “Why, Billy,” exclaimed his mother, “how often have I told you to play with good little boys? Good boys don’t fight. ’ ’ “Well,” exclaimed Billy through his tears, “I thought he was a good little boy till I hit him.” “How’s the rheumatism?” asked the doctor. “It’s gone,” replied the patient. “I rubbed my knee for an hour with your lotion.” “Knee? You said it was in your arm. ’ ’ “I know; but the exercise cured me.” Making the Best of It.

A Scotsman on a motor tour stopped one night at a small hotel. “How much for a bed?” he asked. “Five shillings.” “Terrible, dear. How much for breakfast,” “Three shillings.” “Buination! How much to garage my car?” “Garage is free.” “Ah, weel; just book me garage and breakfast. I’ll sleep in the car.”

National Flowers. Teacher: Now, children, can you tell mo the national flower of England? Class: Boses. Teacher: And France? Class: Lilies. Teacher: And Spain? Silence for a moment, then a small voice from the back of the class: Bullrushes, ma’am! Tit For Tat. Teacher (to child at first lesson in religious class): Who made you? Child: I dinna ken. Teacher: Bear me, don’t know who made you. Where do you live? Child: Wi’ my uncle. Teacher: And who is your uncle, please? Child (triumphantly): Dinna ken who my uncle is; gosh, a'body kens him. A TBICK TO TBY.

It is surprising how difficult things are to do when you are the slightest bit giddy, when you have turned round two or three times, for instance. Here’s a trick for you to try. Place a stone on the ground, then take a dozen steps away from it. Turn round a few times and set oil straight tuwards it with your hand ready to touch it. Keep your eyes on the hand that is outstretched, and you’ll find it very hard to touch the stone.

HUNGRY. The class had been told to bring things to school for a drawing lesson, and just as the lesson was about to begin a small boy was found standing tearfully at his teacher’s desk. “I’ve swallowed my object,” he explained. “What is it?” asked the teacher anxiously. “A baDaua,” replied tho would-be artist. HONEY. Forty thousand miles of flight To make a pound of honey. When sold upon the market place It brings a merchant money. The bees have forty thousand miles Of going to and fro, ' They taste a million flower cups The merchant does not know. Perhaps they have the best of it, The bees who make the honey: A million flowers over-woigh A piece of- silver money. , Harold Wesley Melvin.