TOPICAL TIT-BITS

Manawatu Times, Volume LIII, Issue 6667, 21 July 1928, Page 8 (Supplement)

TOPICAL TIT-BITS

% A- model marriage is one In which the wife is a treasure and the husband a treasury,—‘‘Dallas News.”

■■.? Still, the fellow who believes in predestination jumps just as far at the sound of a honk.—“ Schenectady Gazette.” . T

. Every man has moments of vindictiveness when he wishes he were a king or a truck-driver. —“San Francisco Chronicle.”

The man who takes a nap while holding a steering-wheel usually wakes up holding a harp instead. —“Louisville Times.” ■ • *

? Chicago Judge says there Is too much cooked-up testimony in divorce cases. And some that is too raw.— ‘‘Miami News.*

, We. had suspected it. Late reportsassert that several of the Nicaraguan bandit leaders.. were educated in the United States.—" San Diego Union.”

; One way of working up a little interest in a big fight would be for Heeney to come out for Bacon. —“New York/Evening Post.”

The army has a fighting plane equipped with six machine-guns and 250 bombs. It will probably be christened the “Spirit of Chicago.”—“San Diego Union.” ,»' * * Nature makes mistakes, but she never arranges the bloom of youth near the nose on one side and close to an ear on the other.—“ San Francisco Chronicle.” * * * The King of Hejaz has ordered a special car of bus capacity for the members of his harem. Victims of back-seat drivers in the "United States will send condolences. —“Louisville Courier-Journal.’ > •

The Precaution. —Two men were lunching in a crowded restaurant, and one. of them noticed that his companion was constantly turning round and darting suspicious glances at the hatrack.^ 1 ’ .-5;, After this had happened for about the 10th time the first man turned to his friend. “Why do you keep looking round at that thing?’,’ he asked. “I’m keeping an eye on my coat, of course,” was the answer. “But,” said his friend, “you don’t see - me continually looking over there.” ‘■i. “There’s no need,” snapped the other. “Yours went half-an-hour ago.” Too Mitch and Too Many.—“ What do vou charge for cleaning feathers?” asked the lady customer. “Sixpence each, madam,” was the reply. “What!” gasped the lady, “I could never pay as much as that.” “How many have you, madam? If you’ve, a sufficient number we might make a reduction in the price.” “Why, I’ve two beds full.” 'i'-' *■ • * Nesting Season.—“ Mama and papa think we ought to wait at least a month before getting married.” “Aw, I hate these long engagements.” “So do I—-but we have to give them enough time to find a larger apartment.”