FUN AND FANCY.

Manawatu Times, Volume XLVII, Issue 2762, 2 October 1923, Page 3

FUN AND FANCY.

Dolly was finding the motor ride with the etodgy young man rather dull, and at last she resorted to desperate measmtes. ''Oh, dear!" she exclaimed, snuggling back among the cushions. "Oh, dear! This wretched weather! lam simply frozen to death. My hands are like ice. Feel them!" But the youth did not respond. Instead, he regarded her with a puzzled air for some seconds; then he said: •"You should have brought a muff with you." "I did!" she wailed. He was continually expounding on his travels. He had seen Americah, Indiah, Chinah, and been over the Himalayahs, and, in fact, had seen everything on the face of the earth.

At this juncture a Lancashire miner, seated in the corner, remarked: "Eh, young fella, hast ta ever 'ad t' D.T.'s?" "Sir," replied Sammy 'indignantly, "do you wish to insult me. I should think not, indeed!" "Well," responded the miner, "tha's seen now't!"

At a concert in a country town Miss Smith obliged by reciting "The Village Blacksmith." At the finish the audience cheered —-'Ancower," they cried; "Ancower." Miss Smith was about to grant the request, when a burly fellow, much out of breath, clapped her on the shoulder.

"I want you to do me a favour," he said, excitedly.

'•Well, what is it?" asked Miss Smith.

"It's this," whispered the intruder, "I happen to be the feller yer-ve been talking about, and I want yer to put in a verse this time saying as how I let out bicycles."

An aristocratic lady through force of circumstances was obliged to board a tram one afternoon. She sat stiffly on the edge of the seat, with her well, bred nose held high in the air, disdainfully looking neither to the right nor the The conductor .rambling through the car collecting fares was enjoying a quiet chew, and as he passed the lady he spat with much force and gusto on the floor near her feet. A workman sitting beside her became highly excited, and with much concern he turned to her. "Say," he inquired, "that must 'a splashed on yer leg?" The aristocratic lady coldly glanced at him.

. ''Sir," she distinctly exclaimed, "I did not come into this car to be Insulted."

•'Neither did I," he agreed. "If he spits again we'll both git off."