At the Breakfast Table

Manawatu Times, Volume LXXVIII, Issue 12808, 4 June 1914, Page 5

At the Breakfast Table

"What a good thing it is that those great Scottish Churches are considering the question of union, " said the Divinity Student. "What a power Christianity would be if all Churches were united!! "

"You are young," said the Philosopher, "and you have not considered the causes that have led to the numerous divisions. You forget that all men do not interpret the Scriptures in the same way, and that honest conviction of error compels severance."

"And you," said the Cynic, "have forgotten that the more the divisions are multiplied the more occupations there are."

"That implies unworthy motives in the founders of the different sects, and with that I do not agree. No one could impute such motives, say, to Luther and his fellow-workers, to the Wesleys, to those forming the High Church and the Low Church parties, or to General Booth or many others who have founded separate schools of religious teaching. Would you accuse the Covenanters of Scotland, who were harried and mutilated for their belief, of being swayed by improper motives? As Pollock, a Scottish poet, said in'his "Course of Time" in regard to them—■'' Fierce Persecution bared her fiery sword, and chased them up to Heaven." "Well," retorted the Cynic, "You will find that the chief thing standing in the way of union nowadays will be that it involves reduction."

"I don't believe it/' said the Moralist. "There are many men in all Churches who are sincerely desirous of sinking differences and uniting in the great work for which the Churches exist.''

"Let us hope their desire may be realised," said the Maiden of Uncertain Age, "bu£ I don't care whether those Churches unite or not. I am content with my own Little Bethel, and I don't like forms and ceremonies."

"Evidently then," said the Cynic, "you would be an opponent of union, and I should have thought that was rather in your line. I don't mean altogether in Church observance, but in other things that are performed sometimes in Churches." "As to forms and ceremonies," said the Philosopher, "it is evident that you do not understand human nature. The oldest Church in the world has never varied its forms and ceremonies and still holds its sway over the majority of Christians. One need not belong to it to admire its system and the perfection of its or. ganlsation. ,,

* "Did you notice that great change that is taking place in Scotland?" asked the Landlady. "The public.houses there are not to be opened till 10 o'clock each morning." '' Puir Sconnie Botland,'' said the Bibulous Bounder. "Why in that country the children used to be weaned on whisky and it was a popular elder's cordial. Even now every barman knows what you mean'when you utter the single word 'Scotch.' " "Do you remember," said the Man of the World, "the joke of the comic paper when it was reported that a fire in a Perth distillery caused the streets to run with whisky? It depicted two Scots swimming in the alcoholic flood, and one cheered up the other in his struggles by ejaculating 'O Death, where is thy sting!' " "There you go," said the Moralist, "libelling all the Scottish people because a few indulge too freely. There are many earnest advocates of temperance among them, who are trying to lessen the consumption of liquor.''

<# And hundreds of others who are trying to reduce the stock of it," re.torted the Cynic.

''That cablecrammer sends us some queer stories," observed the Critic. "The other day he sent a message from Paris which expected us to believe that a burglar entered a doctor's house and stole some rabbits. Burglars don't usually descend to poacher'g work.''

"But didn't you notice," said the Youth, "that the point of the joke was that the rabbits were inoculated with deadly diseases, that might be caught by the burglar?" "A most unlikely story," said the Observer. "It has a twang of those notifications about lost property that you sometimes see in the papers, which begin ' The person who was seen taking,' etc. You may take it for granted that if the person was seen there would be nothing spent on public notification. That Paris message evidently originated from an advertisement intended to terrify the burglar and induce him to return something else he stole to the medico who was stated to have inoculated the rabbits and who might reasonably be expected to know what would be the antidote. ''

"When I grow up," said the Boy, "I am going to cultivate a strong jaw—a very strong jaw." 1 ' Do you wish part of your skeleton to be of service to some future Samson?" blandly enquired the Critic. " No," replied the Boy. '' But lam going to some unknown country, where I will find a new river, a new mountain range, or a new race of people, and then I shall come back, like Teddy Roosevelt, and declare that all the mapmakers and scientists have been mere blundering fools.'' '' Will people believe * traveller's tales ?'' asked Doubting Thomas. "If Roosevelt is not believed," said the Philosopher, "he will not be the first traveller whose word has been doubted. Ever since the dawn of history travellers' tales and fish stories have been classed among flights of fancy and fiction. But you may remember that for a long time we doubted the' accounts given by Herodotus, the oldest historian and traveller, when he spoke of the existence of pygmies in Africa. Centuries afterwards Stanley showed that the old traveller's statement was true, for he found a race of pygmies in the mistv forest at the foot of liuwenzori, and he also discovered the source of Egypt's famous river." "You may remember, too," said the Historian, "that when Bruce returned from the exploration of Abyssinia, and told of the cattle drivers cutting steaks from living animals and afterwards driving them on, he also was esteemed a fiction-monger, but his tale was true. See, too, how the word of those Catholic priests who first succeeded in penetrating to Thibet was doubted when they declared that the religious customs of the people were so like their that the

Devil must have been there before them. But we now know that they also spoke truth so far as resemblance was concerned. A J ATE PENNE. I