CURRENT TOPICS

Manawatu Standard, Volume LVIII, Issue 76, 26 February 1938, Page 8

CURRENT TOPICS

(By Wayfarer.) An ambulance being used in Paris is capable of travelling at seventy miles an hour. It should be able to pick up a bit of business as* it goes along. Mother: “Good night, John. I hope you’re going be better boy tomorrow. ” ' ; . John: “Why, what s on to-mor-row?”. ...» There was a loud kiiock at the door, and the doctor, who had just settled down for a nap, got up indignantly; “What is it?” he asked a little boy standing outside. , , “I’ve been bitten by a dog, the lad answered. , ~ , “Well, don’t you know that my surgery hours are from three to seven? asked the doctor crossly. “Yea,” replied the boy sadly. But the dog didn*t.” *

Mr Lloyd George, who figured prominently in this-week’s debate in the House of Commons oyer Mr K.. A. Eden’s resignation, retains undiminished his power of weighing up. . a situation and Jie still takes decisive action wfien that is called foi. Judging by a story which has been told, the statesman had these powers well developed even as a small boy of eleven. For at that age he yielded, with schoolboy friends, to the temptation of raidinn a farmer’s orchard. Several rams were successful. One day, however, the farmer grimly awaited the raiders, and. in due course he saw the hedge-opening enlarge itself slowly to admit the small figure of Britain’s future Premier. “Hi i” cried the fanner, advancing with cudgel. “where are you going? “L.G.” had had no notice of that question but, suiting action to word, he answered, very briefly “Back I

The reputation of the Americans as an inventive people is well sustained by the recent list of the patents granted by the United States Patent Office during a single week. One is for an awning that automatically .lowers itself as soon as rain begins to fall and automatically winds itself dp when the rain stops. A patent was also granted for a “cowtail, garter,” a device that prevents the cow from switching its tail in the milker’s face. Another invention is a “non-blurrable” mirror that will not fog because of steam or water-vapour in the bathroom. There is a prospect, too, that all the traditional methods of killing poultry will be rendered obsolete by the use of an electric chair for chickens. On this chair the chickens is hung head downward by means of a wire attached to its legs. Another wire is clamped on to its head, which is fitted to a support. By means of a switch an electrocuting charge is then sent through the body of the luckless bird.

The denizens of Fleet Street, the home of many of Britain’s newspapers, find time for other things than tracking down news stories, political sensations and the like, although the average person may not think so. The Fleet Street Choir is shortly to go oil a tour of Central Europe and the Balkans—the most extensive one that the choir has yet undertaken in its eight years of existence. It is a growing and prospering body, and its reputation should be enhanced by the coming tour. It Bucharest it is even to give a command performance before King Carol. Its membership includes all grades of salary as well as almost all kinds of servants of the printed word—compositors, reporters, typists, office boys, an advertising manager, and an editor or two. It even includes an editress a contralto. The chief soprano is the wife of a newspaper chief, the first tenor is a designer of typography. Only music critics are not apparently represented on itl

We are told that there is likely to he much satisfaction among British Army men because an officer has been appointed to the command of a division at the age of forty-six, an appointment which brings down the age average. Yet it is not without interest to recall that that was the age k at which Wellington closed his military career in the field with the victory of Waterloo, says a writer in the Manchester Guardian. Napoleon, born also in 1769, was at his best probably ten years before Waterloo. In Ireland, when lie was just forty, Marlborough revealed the genius which was to astonish Europe, and his powers were fully developed long before Blenheim. Marshal Saxe was made a marshal of France at forty-eight, having earned undying fame in the campaigns of many revious years. Frederick the Great was a seasoned commander when he won his great victory at Hohenfriedberg at thirty-three. Luxemburg was fortyfour in liis memorable campaign in the Netherlands. Turenne was a marshal of France at thirty-three. So the list might be continued both backwards and forwards.

It may be said, no doubt, that men mature quickly in war, but surely the function of an army in peace is to prepare for war should war be forced upon it, so that there may be all the more reason for having young generals in peace-time. If so. there is room for still ’'further reduction in the average.

When the five Royal Air Force fly-mg-boats of No. 204 General Reconnaissance Squadron recently arrived in Sydney for the celebrations they proved once more, by flying from England in formation, the remarkable efficiency of the service. The apparent ease with which the individual crews carried out their tasks tended to create the impression that the work of a flying-boat pilqt was not so difficult after all, but, before beginning their careers, all members of flying-boat squadrons in Britain and overseas must pass through a most intensive period of training at Calshot. This training depot is situated at the junction of Southampton Water and the open Solent and has been the centre of training for marine craft since 1912. The course includes every phase of work possible to be met with on active service. Air men are converted into sailors and become specialists in navigation. This work alone occupies 30 weeks, during which about 825 hours are devoted to lectures and about 75 hours in the air. Then for practical work on marine craft the men are transferred to the Portsmouth Navigation School, where they are attached to one of the warships. Another phase is studied at the Portsmouth Ordnance Survey Office. When this training has been completed the airmen begin the fly-ing-boat pilot’s course. They are given experience in the handling of different boats in progressive stages from preliminary types right up to the machines used on active service. For the first six months of the year the individual pilots are allowed to apply the knowledge gained to the handling of their own particular' boats, after which the second half of the year is devoted to combined training. During the following, months the squadron as a unit carries out cruising practice and periodically works with the fleet. So the pilot becomes one of tho cogs in the Royal Air Force flyingboat'squadron.