MASSEY COLLEGE

Manawatu Standard, Volume LVI, Issue 163, 11 June 1936, Page 2

MASSEY COLLEGE

STUDENTS’ REVELS. FUN IN THE SQUARE. With shrieks and war-whoops, a horde of warriors, clad in nightshirts and sundry other queer articles, and brandishing ancient weapons, to represent the Abyssinians, invaded the Square at II a.m. yesterday, after having been lurking under cover at Massey College for some hours. Though it was the “rainy season” they came on gallantly, drenched but unperturbed, to rouse the business area with their cries until the kerbs were crowded with spectators. It was the second annual college capping day procession, and the spectacle was widely appreciated. Preceded by gaily garbed officers who did brisk business collecting on behalf of the crippled children’s fund, the “army” entered the city via Fitzherbert Avenue, the “Emperor Haile Selassie” being surrounded by a faithful bodyguard who warded off all attacks with shredded turnips, decayed fruit, and other “deadly” missiles in “contravention of the international articles of warfare.” The Imperial suite occupied a four-wheeled open-air carriage drawn by a fine quartette of cart horses. Liveried attendants es-~ corted it, and the advance guard consisted of two magnificent warriors, one helmeted and plumed, and both mounted on noble and spry young steeds. Close behind came “The ’Armless Dum-Dumb Abos Ababa killers,” pursued by “Mussolini’s Mincing Machine,” whose attacks they resisted with shield and spear. Aviation exhibits came next, followed by a meeting of the Labour Cabinet, in which Hon. R. Semple’s impersonator was a prominent figure, well equipped with strings of running shoes. “Forty hour nights” and “Monev for all” were prominent slogans, and a money manufacturing machine, handmanipylated, was kept working at full pressure producing “currency of tho realm.” There was a tableau of “Politicians, Pirates of Primary Produce,” and a cart conveying free samples of mud, with the placard. “Help tho Cookie. Buy His Mud.” Diversion was added by “Long Slack Sam” and his Oriental entertainers, while the procession was convoyed by a rattling old armoured car constructed of sheet and scrap iron. The procession moved round the Square to the accompaniment of it 3 own cheers, and then drew up in front of the Band Rotunda, where “Mussolini,” with his Black Shirts,. thundered defiance to the r ‘black Ethiopians.” The “Prime Minister,” a passable representation, then welcomed all to the city, especially the Abyssinian and Italian armies, invited them to give up their warfare and settle in New Zealand.

Next, amid roars of acclamation, the “Emperor Hailie Selassie” was announced. He introduced the dusky “Empress” and stated that if only the bad weather then prevailing had ruled for the warfare in Abyssinia, he would have won the day. He announced his intention of joining Mr Savage, whose Labour policy was “sweeping the world.” Boos and catcalls greeted “Mussolini” ia.s he strutted forward, raised his hand in the Fascist salute, and made a great oration, declaring his intention of fortifying the East Coast railway, and commenting that playing with poison gas and bombs was a much better pastime than with running shoes and footballs. “II Duce” had a narrow escape front being “assassinated” _ during his address, a missile striking hiss face and leaving its mark. However, scorning medicinal attention, he concluded his “powerful exhortations” in the face: of a barrage of apple cores and other misused primary products. Subsequently,' the procession, with the disputes publicly settled, moved off, and a party of “warriors” went to the precincts of an hotel en bloc, but received a big jugful of water from an upper storey to cool them down.