Aunt Roberta’s Family

Manawatu Standard, Volume XLIX, Issue 226, 23 August 1929, Page 10

Aunt Roberta’s Family

v AUNT ROBERTA’S LETTER.

most unpleasant experience for your people in Wakefield during tho earthquakes. I like the Talkies very much. I am indeed proud of my clever nieces and nephews. The jokes were good, especially the one about Pat. Your good wishes are much appreciated. IMELDA DWYER: Thanks for tho competition suggestions. When I use them you will be awarded 2 marks. EILEEN PYCROFT : lam pleased you are taking such an interest in the competitions since you won the silent member prize. I hope the small baby cousin is better now. Best wishes, my dear. BROWN EYES: It is a great pity you can only write stories like the one you sent for my criticism. It is not euitablo for a children’s pago. Try to write, simply and naturally, about a true incident in your life, oven about some pet. WEKA: Thanks for the verses for our Literary Corner. I think the words of “A Narrow Window” are very true. ARCHIE DRUMMOND: There’s not much escapes you, nephew Archie! Tho verses are rather long, but I expect I’ll be able to find space for them. HOLLYHOCK: I thought you were a boy! Write again soon. LEAP YEAR: lam disappointed that you don’t see the pago every week. I predict that you will miss something important one of these days! So sorry to hear about the poor legs. Ethel Procter writes under a nom-de-plume nowadays; she is a most faithful niece, I am pleased to say. RIMU : Ever faithful! The verses you send for our Literary Corner are beautiful. CHRISTMAS CAROL: Tho results of the "Finish the Story” competition were published a fortnight ago. I do hope that you have quite recovered from the ’flu by this. Lots of sympathy. SHYLOCK: The picture of “Mary Had a Little Lamb” must have been mo6t interesting. I shall prize the snap; 1 think you look very happy. We have had a competition on “Dreams,” but perhaps later on wo could have one on “My Strangest Dream,” as you suggest. The words of “Sweet Life” are very beautiful —thanks so much. Best love, my dear. APPLEBLOSSOM : You are a generous niece. Let me sec, you want a name for the little heifer calf. Do you like “Blossom” or “Daisy”? Thanks for the lovely KINGCUP: Another generous niece. The poem you so kindly send for our Literary Corner is well-known—and a great favourite. Thanks, my dear. CHERRY RIPE: Only when a story is specially asked for in the competitions. Entries need not be signed by a parent unless this is clearly stated. Just follow the competitions closely. There are more seniors than juniors, who write to the page. Thanks for the nice kisses. Tho crispies and riddles are very acceptable. PEGGY MEREDITH: I am glad to hear that you always read the Family page, and hope you will keep to your good resolution to 6end in entries to the competitions in future. Please choose another nom-de-plume, as “Jock” ha 3 already been taken. Many happy returns of the day—if my wishes are not too late. LAVENDER: I hope you do very well in the exam. When I was at school I used to love playing ‘rounders.’ Thank 6 for the kisses. ROSALEEN: I did get a lovely surprise when I opened tho small packet and found you had sent me a birthday gift of some lace. Did you crochet it yourself? I can’t crochet and I cannot knit —but I can dam socks and stockings and mend and patch! The big kisses were very sweet. Best love, little Rosaleen. BETTY AIRD: I think “Chatterbox” is quite a good nafne for the new corner. I should have to read every address on my roll to discover -if there are any members of “Aunt Roberta’s Family” living in Apiti, and this would take too long. You will 6ee that I am trying to get tho information in another way. . DON GORDON: I am delighted that you have decided to join the happy Family, and your name has been entered on my roll. Baby rabbits are very pretty little things, aren’t they? RAY GORDON : You are very welcome, and I have put your name on my roll. I expect you get somo hard knocks sometimes when you are playing football. You must be fond of reading, as you 6ay you have many books. Love and best wishes to a new nephew. MARGARET HUDDLESTONE: It is months since I heard from you, Margaret, and I am afraid you are a very “silent” niece 1 Perhaps you will write to me again soon. GLADYS HUGHES: I am so pleased you want to become a member, and your name has been entered on my roll. The nom-de-plume you have chosen will do very well. Always 6ign your own name as well. Love and best wishes to a new niece.

Dear Little People,

My Australian nieces and nephews tell me that the winter has been an exceptionally severe ono in Sydney and Melbourne. About 75 miles from Sydney the beautiful Blue Mountains lie (called bo because of the haze of blue that veils them when the sun is hot) and the streets of the principal town, where many people 6pend their holidays during the summer, have been wrapped in a soft white pall of 6now. They sent me pictures from the newspapers of men sweeping .the streets ! I can imagine what a wonderful slight the bush-clad mountains must have appeared with the glistening snow upon them. It is many, many years 6ince there has been such a heavy fall of snow—and the Australians, who are used to warmth, are shivering and complaining bitterly of the intense cold. In our small land we have been tucked away snugly during this winter, as the weather has been delightfully mild. But then we had our trying time not so long ago, during the earthquake period, didn’t we? Kingcup and Apple Blossom have sent 2s each for tho Earthquake Fund, which is very generous of them, and this has been forwarded to the General Fund. The amount contributed by “Aunt Roberta’s Family’’ amounts now to 36s Kingcup says: “I love reading the stories written by members of your big family. I think that Allen-a-Dale is very clever indeed. His verses are so sweet and musical. I thought ‘Silver and Grey’ was very good, and 1 have read his poem, ‘Hill Magic,’ over and over till I know it off by heart.” Betty Aird, Box 11, Rongotea, would like members of “Aunt Roberta’s Family” living in Apiti to write to her, as she expects to spend a holiday in Apiti shortly. Betty suggests that “Chatterbox” would be a good name for the “personal items” corner and I think so too. Can any member think of a better name? “Will you please thank Lyndeen and Rosaleon for their kind remarks, and please congratulate Allen-a-Dale on his beautiful poem, ‘Silver and Grey,’ It is the best that has appeared in our page.” These are the remarks of May Swain. Duchess says: “Please congratulate all recent prize winners for me. Billy and Hazel Collins do very good work for their ages. I think the idea of a special small comer for news about the doings of members is a good one.” “Best regards to all the Family” from Kat. Gwladys Hughes writes: “Your page has become so very interesting that 1 just couldn’t resist writing and telling you how much I would like to become one of your large Family. I have been a reader of the page for quite a few years now.” Shylock says: “I really must write and tell you that I think the idea suggested by Anonymous is just what we want for our page, for wo all love to hoar what our unseen chums have done. I would suggest that Anonymous should choose a name for this small corner, as the idea is original, an 3 perhaps Anonymous, seeing the suggestion came from him, may have a name in his mind already. Will you please thank Redwing .-'for her congratulations.” Rimu wishes to congratulate all recent prize winners. She says she thinks 6omo of the work is splendid, especially that of Allen-a-Dale and Remu6. Peggy Meredith has answered to the Rail Call of the 2nd August, and the halfcrown special prize has been mailed to her. I am pleased to say that lately no unclaimed Roll Call half-crowns have found their way into Lizzie’s pocket 1 Lots of love. From,

CIGARETTE CARD EXCHANGE. Betty Aird, Box 11, Rongotea, says: “I would like No. 1 of “Popular Film Stare,” and would gladly exchange No. 20 of the same set, as I have two of No. 20. If some member will send No. 1 to me, I will send No. 20 by return mail.” Aunt Roberta has “Real Photographs (Do Reszkej as follows, which she will post to nephews and nieces who require certain numbers to complete the series: Nos. 7, 10 (2), 11 (3), 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 21, 22, 23 (3), 24, 25, 26 (2), 27. “Aunt Roberta’s Family” Badge costs Is (stamps or postal note). 5s SPECIAL PRIZE. To- BLUE EYES, ROSALEEN, JULIET, KAT and ALINYA, who have gained 30 points by highly commended and commended marks. COMPETITION FOR “SILENT” MEMBERS. A„ half-crown prize will be awarded to the niece or nephew, whose name is mentioned in the following list of “silent’ members, who writes the BEST LETTER, saying if they still read “Aunt Roberta’s Family” page, and are interested in the doings of members, also telling Aunt Roberta about themselves. Highly commended and commended marks will also be awarded. ALL LETTERS MUST BE POSTED TO “AUNT ROBERTA” BY NEXT SATURDAY, 31st AUGUST, 1929, AND MUST BE HEADED “COMPETITION TOR SILENT MEMBERS.”: HAZEL BRUCE, VIOLET COCKBURN, HAROLD CARTER, EILEEN PETERS, TOM MUIRHEAD, MARY MURPHY, PEGGY RYAN, MAY SCOTT. LITERARY CORNER. Favourite verses, opinions of various books and short descriptive passages out of well-known books will be published m this corner each week. ALLAN LEE sends: “Now the Day is Over.” Now the day is over, Night is drawing nigh, Shadows of the evening Fall across the sky. Father, gave the weary Calm and sweet repose, With Thy tend’rest blessing May our eyelids close. “Do you not think that this ■ poem by Emily Dickinson, rings real and true, that there is nothing false or highfiown about the lines, and that they are just simple, clear thoughts?” JANE asks: I never saw a moor, I never- saw the sea, ' Yet now I know how the heather looks, And what a wave must be. I never spoke with God, Nor visited in heaven; Yet certain am I of the spot As if the chart were given.” “OUR MAIL BAG.” GLUEPOT : The nom-de-plume is suitable. I cannot tell you how many marks you have because you did not sign your name. MAY SWAIN: Your letter giving your new address was overlooked. RICHARD CLEAVER: You are very welcome, and your name has been put on my roll. ! SEASHELL: You must always write each entry on a separate 6heet of paper. The five kisses you sent me were very SW MADAME BUTTERFLY : Thanks for . the-nioe- long.-letter*- It-must shave .been ft

lIEFFALUMP: Yes, indeed, nephew Alien-a-Dale does write excellent stories and poems. Wo are a lucky Family—because we lost Eula and found another promising writer. I am sorry you aro so busy, and it is good of you to remember us at all, I wish you every success. KAT: You are one of the faithful members, which is much appreciated. DUCHESS: So you havo been staying in Wellington and had a lovely time. I am so glad, my dear. My goodness 1 what a lot of nice kisses 1 ARTHUR KING: “Ten White Dicky Ducks” will be very nice for the Literary Corner. I am sure the smaller ones will like it. JOYCE BUTTERFIELD: I am very pleased to welcome you as a member of the Family, and your name has been put on my roll.

ROLL CALL: Lily Gore.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION FOR “SILENT” MEMBERS. PRIZE LETTER (2s 6d and 4 marks): UNA CHAMBERLAIN (15 years). Highly Commended: RONALD BUNN (11 years). RESULTS OF 16th COMPETITIONS. MY VISIT TO THE KING. Senior Division: Some of the entries began well, and then were disappointing; others' started off badly and ended well; others again gave too much unnecessary detail before the “visit” was reached, which was the main idea. It, therefore, was a difficult matter to choose the three best. Tho prize winners are those who wrote simply and to the point. HALF-CROWN AND 3 MARKS: MAISIE PRATT (16 years), INNOCENCE (16 years), and REMUS (15 years). Highly Commended (in order of merit) : Nicodemus, Madrigal, Madame Butterfly, Betty Aird, Kat, Zasu, Ajax, Valentine, Anna Lee, Tin Gan, Kiwi, Eileen Pycroft. Commended: Redwing, Weka, Ocean Spray, Twilight, Ego. JUNIOR DIVISION: The “littlest ones” did very well indeed. 2s PRIZE AND 3 MARKS:. ROSALEEN (8 yoars), MERVYN DALEFIELD (10 years), BLUE EYES (11 years). •HIGHLY COMMENDED (in order of merit) : Ronnie Dalefield, Half and Billy Collins, Leo Andrews, Phillip Andrews, Country Maid, Weeping Willow, Henry Macarthur. Commended: Imelda Dwyer, Riverhead Gold. TELEGRAMS: The 12 letters given were: H.J.E.0.0. S.C.D.M.A.C.D. SENIOR DIVISION: Half-crown prize and 2 marks: HUMORIST (14 years). Highly Commended: WILFRED EDWARDS. Commended: Rata, Twilight, Vera Martin, Rambling Rdse, Betty Aird, Madrigal, Redwing, Kiwi, Adonis, Alinya, Edith Cranton, Tin Can, Albion, Anna Lee, Miranda, Clematis, Bogus, Arnold Dalefield, Madame Butterfly, Ajax, Zasu, Heffalump, Elat, Ocean Spray, Remus, Iseult.

OUR MOTTO: "CHARACTER AND PERSEVERANCE ”

JUNIOR DIVISION: Half-crown prize and 2 marks: RICHARD ENGLISH (10 years). Highly Commended: THELMA CRANTON. Commended: Mervyn and Ronnio Dalefield. Ray llormann, Keith Kitching, Appleblossom, Baby Buzz, Blue Eyes, Lightning, Hazel Collins, Leo Andrews, Myra Newman, Riverhead Gold, Whiston, Rosaleen. MY VISIT TO THE KING. SENIOR DIVISION. PRIZE ENTRIES. I think if a messenger came to mo and said that as I was ono of Aunt Roberta’s huge Family the King wishes me to visit him, I would think him insane ! It really would bo unbelievable! But when I had realised that it was true, I would be very, very excited, for it is an honour I could never hope for. I would try to look my very best, and I don’t think I should be nervous, for our King must have a kind heart if he wished to see Aunt Roberta’s Family, for he is a very, very busy man. Once I was in his presence, I think I would find plenty to talk about. I would begin by telling him all about “the Family,” which would take me a good long time, for there is such a lot to talk about. I think, too, that I would ask him all about his experiences as King, and about his dear little grand-daughter, ' Princess Elizabeth. I am sure he would enjoy telling anyone about her. I would tell him about the jolly times I sometimes have. I think I would forget he was King, and I would be very sorry wlren my visit was over. Before I went I would pluck up courage to ask him if he would do us the honour of writing a letter in our Family Page and telling us how ho enjoyed our visits to him. God bless King George and Queen Mary, ' Maisie Pratt (16 years). “This i 3 Innocenoe,” announced the butler at the hotel in which the King was staying. “And she looks like Innocence, too, 6aid the King. “So you are another of Aunt Roberta’s Family,” he went on. “Yes, Your Majesty.” “Ah, yes, Aunt Roberta has a grand family, so I learn. Do you help to make her Page a success?” “I do all I can; I always try my best, and when I fail I try again.” “I’m sure you do, and do you ever ■win a prize?” “Very seldom, Your Majesty.” “But don’t you think it is as interesting to try as to be able to win without any effort ?” “Yes; I have often thought that. Unfortunately, I’m not a gifted artist, poet, writer, or puzzle solver.” “The pleasure all lies in the effort,” and he smiled. I smiled, too, although I was -very shy at being in the company of such a great man as tho King of England. I tried to think of something to eay, and at last I plucked up courage and said, "I am very glad that you have made such a splendid recovery after your long illness.” “I am very pleased to see so many loyal people in New Zealand, especially in Auut Roberta’s Family.” Then my brief interview was at an end. Tho King shook hands with me, saying, “Long live Aunt Roberta’s Family, and I hope you will havo good luck and win many prizes in the future.” As I left the room I felt as sad at heart as if I was leaving a very dear friend whom I had known all my life. Innocence (16 years). After five months of illness, His Majesty the King came to New Zealand on a recuperating health trip. With his usual thoughtfulness and loving interest in his subjects, he communicated with Aunt Roberta and informed her he would give an interview to each member of her largo family. What an unprecedented honour fbr a Children’s Pago! What a flutter of excitement it caused in the breast of each member of the Family! What a feeling of envy it aroused in those outside the honoured C 1 AtT last the eventful day arrived, and, dressed in our best clothes, we all met and waited our turn to be admitted to the presence of His Most Gracious Majesty, King George. A feeling of awe held me, an unusual silence lay over us all, and i jumped when a voico announced, Your turn next, Remus.”. I saw on my left an open doorway, and holding myself proudly erect. I walked into the presence of the King, and after making a double curtsey (I had practised it previously) I knelt and kissed the Royal hand which he graciously extended. I saw before me a frail-looking, whitehaired gentleman, benignness and kindness looking out' of his eyes, Ins face still showing signs of the serious illness he had had. “So this is Remus,” he said, another of Aunt Roberta’s big family. How are vou, my boy?” „ . ~ “Quite well, thank you, Your Majesty, I replied shyly. “Welcome to New Zealand and I hope you will soon bo quite strong you, lad,” he said. “I am sure I have the good wishes of all my loyal subjects in New Zealand and my heartiest thanks are due to Aunt Roberta, who, by her wise counsel and motto Character and Perseverance —is helping to build up my Empire of loyal, honourable and unselfish lie conversed with me a little longer, showing a great interest in the members of Our Page. Then ho shook hands with me, and I was dismissed. After bowing, I retired backwards from his presence into another room, thinking it was no wonder our King was so dearly loved by all his subjects and honoured by everyone outside his own country That night a fervent prayer left my lips that His Majesty, our King would, be long spared to guide and rule his loving sube°^3' —Remus (15 years).

HIGHLY COMMENDED. For several hours I had awaited my turn to enter the closed door leading from tho reception room—waited impatiently to see and speak to that great man behind it and when, at last, my turn came a feeling of awe took possession of me, which made my footsteps slacken tad my eagerness be replaced by timidity. The door opened and closed and by its closing I knew I was alone with a man with whom princes and royalty eagerly seek audience, a man beloved and obeyed by many the King of England. , , “Good afternoon, my child, I heard a voice 9ay, and looking up I encountered his gaze. “Won’t you sit down? ’ he continued. “I am sure we would get along much better.” I was sure of this, too, since my legs told me that nothing could be “And so you aro tho last of Aunt Roberta’s large family?” “Yes, Your Majesty,” I replied, knowing not what else to say, and believing that those who had gone before me would have exhausted all possible subjects of conversation. . "Well, Aunt Roberta certainly has a very large family, don’t you think ? ’ “I do,” I replied, “and have you any such aunties in London, Your Majesty . “Well, we have a large number, certainly; but whether or not they are your Aunt Roberta you would be the best judge, for ,unfortunately, I am not one or your family to be able to sa.y.” I now felt sufficiently at ease to look at His Majesty King George V. His e y? s were blue and his hair grey. To be trutnful, I was rather disappointed. Although I had not expected him to wear a crown I, at least,’ expected a uniform. Think of the honour for tho Family. Though this was a red letter day for us it would be doubly so if Hi 6 Majesty had appeared in one of his--many; picturesque uniforms.

I ventured a quostion : “On what occasions do you wear your crown, Your Majesty ?” “When ceremonies of great importance take place. When agreement of conditions relating to your welfare are decided. Then, my child, I wear the emblem of your sovereign.” “I am sure you feel quite a different person when you sit upon a throne and when, on your head you wear ,a crown. “I do,” he replied; “on one hand lam just one of many; on the other I am the only one over many, entrusted by my people to act on their behalf.” _ ; “How is your health, Your Majesty ? I hope our climate is agreeing with you?” “My health,” he replied, “is greatly improved, I have been so busy admiring your country that I had forgotten such a tiling as health.” T The hour to six was drawing near, so 1 took my departure—departing from the only one over many, I—one of that many. —Nicodemus (16 years). MY VISIT TO THE KING. JUNIOR DIVISION. PRIZE ENTRIES. When I heard that the king was coming to visit Aunt Roberta’s Family, how excited I was! What would he say to me? On the day of his visit I wore a new embroidered dress, and white shoes and stockings. How proud I felt, and how I looked down in pity on my {nates who did not belong to Aunt Roberta’s Family. At, two o’clock we all met in an ante room at the hall, and waited our turn to be presented to the King. I imagined he would be dressed in velvot and ermine, with a golden crown on his head, and pages holding his train, and I thought how lovely he would look. At last my turn came, and trembling with excitement I went through the open door. Without lifting my eyes I made a low curtsey, and then I heard a kind voice saying: “And who is this little maid ”

Another voice answered, “This is Rosaleen.”

I looked up, and there was an old greywhiskered man, like a grandfather, smiling at me, I looked around —there was no one else, no king with a crown or velvet gown or anything. _ _ Forgetting my shyness, I asked: Where is the King?” “I am he,” replied the old gentleman, laughing. “But yqu wear clothes just like my Daddy. Where is your crown-” I asked. “Oh, I left that at home for Princess Betty to play with,” he said as he lifted me up on his knee, and asked me ail about my pets and Aunt Roberta. I chatted away until a gruff voice said, “Time’s up.” I put my arms round his neck and kissed him goodbye. He said, “God bless you, my dear, and goodbye.” I went out through another door thinking it was no wonder everyone loved our king. I hope God will let him live and . reign in happiness for many more years. —Rosaleen (8 years).

The king 6miled kindly when I appeared before him, and so I felt not a bit afraid. “Another one of Aunt Roberta’s children,” he said. “What a very large family it is !” He then asked me what I was thinking about. I said, “Your Majesty looks just like the pictures I have seen of you in the School Journal and in magazines.” Then I told him that when I was a very little boy I used to think that kings always wore a crown, and that one day I had asked my brother, who was not much older than myself, if he would like to be a king and wear a gold crown all day. He said, “Don’t be silly? The king only puts his crown on when he wants his photo taken 1” His Majesty laughed when I told him this story, and said that he must repeat it to Queen Mary. He then bade me goodbye as he had still to meet many more of Aunt Roberta’s Family. —Mervyn Dalefield (10 years).

The sun was shining brightly on rows of girls and boys, each dressed in their best clothes and decorated with a tiny Union Jack. At last the playing of the National Anthem by the band told us the king had arrived. What excitement there was as he stepped out of his car and started to walk up and down the long ranks. He walked very slowly, leaning on a stick, and still showed the effects of his long and serious illness. He stopped frequently to speak and shake hands with the boys and girl 6 in the long ranks. Aunt Roberta’s Family was far too numerous for him to speak to everyone. How I hoped I would be one of the favoured few, and I anxiously racked my brain to think of something brilliant enough to say on such an occasion. Hurrah 1 Now ho has started on our row ! „ ( ‘Keep your places, and eyes front, said Aunt Roberta sternly. Here he comes! Will he speak to me? Yes, he is stopping. “How-do-you-do, Blue Eyes,” said His Majesty, aa he held out his hand. I managed to curtsey-*-gracefully, I hope—but, whero oh ! where were all the brilliant speeches I had rehearsed? My heart thumped, my knees trembled, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth; I felt my face getting redder and redder, and at last I managed to blurt out a very stammering—“ W-w-w-w-w-welcome, you—you — your M-M-Majesty,” before he passed on with a smile. , —Blue Eyes (11 years). HIGHLY COMMENDED. I think that I should be afraid to speak to the king, if I were to meet him. If I were not too shy I would say, “Your Majesty, I am pleased to welcome you to New Zealand. I am one of Aunt Roberta’s Family. Wo were all so sorry when you were ill, and we hope that you will enjoy your stay in Maoriland.” Then perhaps the king would say: “Thank you, I hope to have a pleasant time in this lovely little country. I shall tell the Queen when I return to England about Aunt Roberta’s happy family in New Zealand. Goodbye.” —Ronnie Dalefield (7 years). A LETTER FROM A “SILENT” MEMBER. PRIZE. Dear Aunt Roberta, — Last evening I was busy reading the Family Page, and I came across my name in the list of “silent” members. Yes, Aunt Roberta, I am indeed a silent member as far as sending in entries to the competitions, but I am afraid writing stories is not one of my talents. I enjoy reading the Family Page very much, and I always look forward to Friday evening and the pleasant time I shall have reading the stories and verses your nieces and nephews have written. I read tlja page from beginning to end. What a number of clever members you have. Surely there must be some future authors and poets among them. Well, Aunt Roberta, I will try and tell you something about myself. I live on a dairy farm. We milk 26 cows by hand. I have learned to milk, but, sad to relate, I do not like it, although I help sometimes when we have been out picnicking and arrive homo late, or if mother is. not well. I have neither brother nor sister and often wish I had. What I love best of all on the farm are the dear little oalves. I think they are lovely. I often feed them for daddy and they soon get to know me and run towards me when they 6ee me coming with the bucket. We have rather a nice garden; the fresias will soon be in bloomy the double white violets are out and are glorious, and we have lota of carnations, roses, etc. We

have a lemon tree which is bearing profusely, also an orange tree. They are a Pr 15 years old and I attend the Technical School- I cycle to school every day as we are only four miles away from tne town. At school .1 take a. commercial course, which consists of typing, shorthand and book-keeping. I am determinea work hard at these subjects as I would like to work in an office when I am older. Well, Aunt Roberta, I must close now, as I have told you all the news I can thinic of at present. Your loving niece, ' UNA CHAMBERLAIN (15 years). TELEGRAMS. r SENIOR DIVISION. PRIZE. Hurry, Jumbo escape —officious officer seeks compensation damages. Missing animal caught Danncvirke. HUMORIST (14 years). HIGHLY COMMENDED. Henry just expiring. Ordered oxygen. Serious case. Doctor Mendum assisting. Coffin demanded. WILFRED EDWARDS (15 years). COMMENDED. Have just enjoyed our own special columns. Delightful moments are' constantly developing. RATA (13 years). Have just espied one of stolen cars. Decided must attempt capture driver. TWILIGHT (15 years). Hilda just eloped. Order Oldsmob scour country. Delay may arouse comment. Dad. VERA MARTIN (14 years). Have just experienced outbreak of storm. Coming down Monday afternoon. Cat disappeared. RAMBLING ROSE (12 years). Harry Jones entered our office Saturday causing disorder. Must Aunt call ? Dons. BETTY AIRD (13 years). Hill just enveloped our outhouse. Stream completely dammed. Martin and Christina dead. . A LINY A (13 years). Harry just entered on our school competition debates. Makes a capable debater. , _ . ALBION (13 years). Have just examined one of sections Canterbury district. May accept cash deposit. MARIANA (17 years). Has Jack Easton ordered oysters since Christmas? Does mustard aid childrens digestion ? ARNOLD DALEFIELD (13 years. > Have just eluded one of Sam Calder s detectives. Meet at cross-roads. Dave. AJAX (13 years). Have just entered one of sports competitions. Do masters always cancel dancing ? ZASU (17 years). Had jolly evening off other Saturday. Coming down Monday afternoon. Car damaged. OCEAN SPRAY (12 years). TELEGRAMS. JUNIOR DIVISION. PRIZE. Have just escaped out of school. Can’t do my algebra, can Douglas? RICHARD ENGLISH (10 years). HIGHLY COMMENDED. Have just eaten onions on sardines. Can’t digest much and can’t dress. THELMA CRANTON( 9 years). COMMENDED. Harry Johnson eloped Olive our 6istor. Cat disappeared. Mother angry. Come directly. MERVYN DALEFIELD (10 years)., Hedgehog just eaten one of Susie’s chickens. Ducks missing. Ayrshire cow disappeared. RONNIE DALEFIELD (7 years). Hens just escaped out of 6hed. Could Dick mail a catching device. RAY HORMAN (11 years). Hanging Jimmy Ellis on one Saturday. Can Daddy make any contrary defence? BABY BUZZ (9 years). Have just examined open operatic song contest. Dora Miller awarded Choral Diploma. BLUE EYES (11 years). Harry just encountered our own sedan coming down main avenue Christchurch domain. LIGHTNING (9 years). Henry Johnson endeavoured obtain our secret cabling device. Memorise account, cash delivery. HAZEL COLLINS (6 years). Have just engaged Oswald Owen’s ship Carnarvon. Dad making another cruise. .Dick. LEO ANDREWS. Has Jack ever open Oswald’s suit case? Dad, Mother and Connie didn’t. WHISTON (9 years). Heard Jenie escaped over other side carrying dozen meringues and currant dumplings. ROSALEEN (8 years). CRISPIES AND RIDDLES. Visitor: “How old are you, Mary?” Mary: “I’m five, and mother says if I’m good, an’ eat lots of crusts I’ll be six next birthday. * * * • Teacher: “What does the reign of King Charles I. teach us ” Willie: “Please, sir, not to lose our heads in moments of excitement.” * * * * Teacher to class: “The meaning of a fathom is 6 feet. Now will someone give me a sentence using the word fathom? Small Boy: The reason that flies can walk on a ceiling is because they have a fathom.” * * * * Little Boy (doing his lessons): “Papa, does trans mean across? Father: “Yes, my lad, certainly.” Little Boy: “Then I suppose I will have to put that transparent means a cross parent.” * * # * Mistress: “Sarah, have you been meddling with the barometer?” Sarah : “Yes, mum. You seen yesterday was my night out, 60 I put it to fine.” * * * * What is the tinest sound made by the sea? A creek (creak). * * * * Why is a sharp knife like a bad joke ? Because one cannot grasp the point. Why are grasshoppers like watches ? Because they move by springs. * * » * Why is a mathematician never to be found? Because he is always working out. (Sent by Cherry Ripe). • * * * Cook: “Please, mum, the new petrol stove has gone out.” Mistress : “Well, light it again, _Mary.” Cook: “But, please, mum, it’s gone out through the roof and it hasn’t come back yet 1” * * * * Boy: “Is this silver ore, sir?” Teacher: “Yes.” Boy: ‘How do they get the silver out?” Teacher : “They smelt it.” Boy: “That’s funny, sir, I smelt it, too, but I didn’t get any silver out.’ ’ * * * « “What is the plural of penny?” asked the teacher. “Twopence,” replied the cla6s unanimously. (Sent by Redwing). * * * * ' When was beef the highest? When the cow jumped over the moon. Why did the ooean wave? Because it saw the ship bow. ’ How many insects does it take to make a landlord. Ten ants (Tenants). Who keeps the moon in its place ? The benms. What time is it when a clock strikes 13? Time it was mended. What age is most deceiving? Sausage. What is the difference between a rainy day and a wounded lion ? One pours with rain and the other roars with' pain. Why is the figure nine like a peacock? Because, it is nothing without its-, tail. (Sent by Lavender).

J It had been anything but an easy afternoon for the teacher, who took six of he, pupils through the Museum of Nation;, History, but their enthusiastic interest m the stuffed animals and their open-eye,! wonder at the prehistoric fossils amply re Pa “WeU r boys, where have you been all the afternoon?” asked the father of two el the party that evening. The answer came back with joy on; promptness: “Oh, pop! Teacher took uto a dead circus!” (Sent by Gluepot. ) # * * * Whv ■is a Christmas dinner like the letter's? Because it comes before T (tea). * * * What can sing, but has not a voice? A kettle. * * * * * * What seven letters did Mrs Hubhard sav wh’en she opened her cupboard? O, i,c, u. r, m, t (Oh, I see you are empty). Whv are plumstones like milestones? Because'they are never in pairs '(pears). (Sent by Fleur-de-Lys).