News in a Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 4, Issue 250, 24 September 1883, Page 2

News m a Nutshell.

I John Bright is one of the few English* men who laugh at the idea of the French invading great Britain through the tunnel under the Channel. * A paper yacht, to" be 1 propelled by steam, is nearly ready for launching at Landngburg, N. V., and the experiment promises to be a success. ■ - Under the new Victorian Public Serrice Bill no person' is to be appointed tojthe, service tinder sixteen years of age or over twenty-five. Dr Hawks, and old-time eloquent and popular divine, once asked the vestryman of his church to increase his % salary because of his increased family expenses • • Don't trouble yourself,' said the vestryman,' the Lord has said he will care for the young ravens when they cry,' *I know that,' said the clergyman, ' b«t nothing is said about the young Hawks.' Milk will be receired at the Waikato Cheeße and Bacon Factory m a week or so, we (Waikato Times) understand. Everything is how ready for a start, but it is thought desirable that the frosts should end before aotive operations commenoe. : Lord -DuflFerin, thinks th«fc before the close of the present century Canada will have forty million people. A statue has- lately been found m a mound m Egypt which is believed to be not less than 4568 years old. The telegraphist at Oastlepoiut nays he saw a streak of light, resembling a~ icomet's tail, extending, along the nothern jhpvizon. He does not, commit himself to the assertion that it was a comet, as has been incorrectly stated. Great Britain has 12,000 miles of underground wires. The cost is fonr time that of ordinary wires. :T - - •■'■■■ The author of the' farce of * Bdi and" Oox' is said to be a charity patient m the -Philadelphia asylum. ' la Sardinia a poisonous herb, growing wild, Bnd resembling parsley, causes thoes who eat it to die laughing. With perfect propriety the Wanganui Chronicle claimsdTohn HawKer, the idle vagabond tailor; W peculiarly the private property of Wanganui. The chronicle should know b«)8t. . , ..., Yes.', soliloquised a veteran drinker/; Teg, it is because a man is made of dust, that he is always so dry. And hence, also, it is that whenever he wishes to dampen himself, he must always part with some of his dust.' • A Conditional Immortalist was recently ventilating his theories m the hearing of a. Scotchman, and contending that there was no difference between a man and a beast. Whereupon the canny Scotchman replied, -then you would not be offended if I called you an aas.' 'Why, that man was your chum at school,, and you two were always rasepar* able, yet now you pass him with a cool bow. Has any dispute occurred T "'.Oh,' no.; we dearly love each other still, bat it .would not look well to show it. ;f% have become a doctor, and he has become an undertaker/ \ •' . At a school«examination recently the" inspector put the following question:— •On what side of a jug is the handle placediP' The v ßoy standings* dux 'said it was on the. right side; but, on being asked to prove it, it was found that he could not. : The second boy, thought it was on the left side, but he likewise could not prove it. The inspector passed round the class without getting^another answer, until he came to a bright little fellow at" the foot, who exclaimed, * Why, it's on the outside.' He got the certificate.