THE FIRESIDE.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 3, Issue 66, 10 February 1883, Page 3

THE FIRESIDE.

. where have yotihtfett jtfl titglitf wa 3 the gffe ting, as ho stumbled up Stairs. ' Comet patty, my dear, abat's all.' Comet party ? Why it ought npt to take all night to see ihe comet/ 'Ifyonzheeas many comets ash I did, t'would take yoa, poor weak . Woman, a whole week. Yesh it would. 1 A one-legged Yankee orator nattted Jbhes was pretty succesful m bantering an Irishman, when the latter asked hira, a How did you come to lose your leg V n Well,' said Jones, 'on examining my pedigree, and looking up my descent, I found there was some Irish blood m me, and becoming convinced that it had settled m that left leg, I had it cut off .at once.' ' Bo the powers !' said Pat, • . 'it would hare been a better thing if it • had settled m your head. . Bis' Story. — Une of Prince Bis* ■ marek's recorded Russian stories is amusing: — 'Towards the end of her reign the Empress Catherine found the Civil List of her son, Paul, much m debt, among the other items a charge >: of 1000 bottles of brandy for his use. ; 'He never tasted brandy. The charges •were traced up to the day of his birtb. There were some slight excoriations on his -legs when he was born. The nurse sent for a glafes of brandy to make a ; - lotion for'themj From that day a boU -tie of brandy had been sent (or ac least to him every day.' v : « Talk of opening oysters,' said old ■:■. Hurricane, 'why nothin's easier, if you only know how.' ? And how's how ?' inquired Starlight. ' Scotch sn»ff,' an-, ewered old Hurricane, Jvery sententious . ..ly. /Scotch snuff. Bring a little of it l *ever4o tiear their noses and they'll sneeze tiHe'ir lids off.' • 1 know a genius,' observed Maister Karl, '.who. has a bet- : ' ter pHaiii -'He spreads, the bivalves m a ■ > oirolej seats himself m the centre, and »> begins' spinning a yarn. Sometimes it's an adventure m Mexico— sometimes a '•'■■ legend of his love — sometimes, a mar-> i lyellous stock transaction. As he pro« ceeds, the ' natives ' get interested~one by one they gape with astonishment at I •*he tremeiido'us and direftil' whoppers which are poured forth, and as they gape, my friend whips 'em out, peppers 'fl-'em/'afca ; swallows 'em.' 'That'll do,' said Starlight, with al ong sigh. 'I wish we had * '."bushel of the bivalves here i»6w— they'd open easj.' " ; What,. is the difference betwan a timid fljiiid' land a shipwrecked sailor ? One .clings. to. his ma, and the other to hiS;§pW>iC3^ :. ./ — -A dry*goods clerk with a very affected gait had to go to a distant part of the store for some for a party of feminine customers. ' Walk this way, ladies/ he cajled, as he swung biaiself off. ; ? iw, c ; canf t walk that way/ cried a" perV niiss; 'we never learned that sjkyle, you know.' The clerk is now driHiiig on a more common method, :