Short Story.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume 31, Issue 9220, 8 June 1900, Page 5

Short Story.

Aunt Selina of the Boston " Daily Phonograph." Tlie subscription list of the Boston "Daily Phonograph" owed several yards of its- length to the Woman's Column which appeared in its Saturday issue. There never was anything move complete :u its nay than this feminine department. It: combined, with surprising ease, receipts for muffins and for encouragement toward the attainment of " gracious womanhood,'' with an air half mystic, half domestic;, as if it were .shedding benedictions from a dredging-box. It permitted nothing of the aggressive, lieaveu-and-mau defying 'New Woman element ;on the contrary, it inculcated those passive, virtues of meek endurance and shifting cares on to Providence, which, according to eirciimstahces, is sometimes ideal heroism,-and', more' frequently nothing but baptised laziness. The«reputed editor of the Woman's Column was one A tint Selina. Sue was, ho\yever, -a personage altogether imaginary. The real editor wits a clever, liard-working, happy-go-lucky-. young had neither the time nor th§ disposition to practise 'the conventionalities which she recommended to correspondents. She had been suddenly called to her native Western city on account of the dangerous illness of a Bister. The convalescence would be rather long, and she might have been* obliged to resign her place if another of the staff had not volunteered to take ■her work during lier absence. This good comrade was Roger Endicott, a lively scion of .an aristocratic house, who had chosen a newspaper career because of its capabilities for assorted and (various experiences. He was the literary editor of the 41 Phonograph"; Ms regular duties occupied only a part of the time, so that he often gave a hand where it might be needed. It struck him as very great fun to occupy the chair of Feminine Deportment and Handiwork, and he entered upon the task with interest. The bovs took to ' Calling ihim Aunt Selina, to 'which title tie answered cheerfully. They all lad fcobriquets_ in the office. i -The correspondents frequently begged for a photograph of Aunt Selina, and it occurred to 'Endicott that she would .nutke a fine figurehead. Therefore the very next Saturday the countenance of a comely old lady beamed-above the Woman's Column. This portrait was, in point of fact, the likeness of a German frau who kept a cheap restaurant near the newspaper office. Endicott was in the habit of lunching there because the personnel of its custom afforded him plenty of " types" and ."stories."- To look at the pictured countenance of Aunt Selina, moonfaced, benevolent, bland, you never would have, guessed what first drew Endicott's attention to the original. It was iher vigorous, fluent, continuous gift of scolding ; it is true that Jier waitresses 'and pot-boys would have hardly understood a milder idiom. She •would set her stout arms akimbo and fire volleys of criticism of their ways and of prophecy concerning their end ; : and all the time her features remained •unchanged from their calm maternal smile. When she boxed a.boy's ears the activity of iher muscles - stopped exactly at her shoulder-joint; iher face was like , that of a grandmother crooning a lullaby. Endicott, admiring this image of i matronly wisdom land mellowed and ; reverend age, invited Frau •Schmidt to have her photograph taken for him and at his charges. j " Vos you shtuck on .my peaudiful ;face ?" she had inquired ; and he, with much appreciative pantomime, had owned the soft impeachment He promptly escorted her to the' nearest studio, and in due time she gloried to see herself heading the column of Aunt Bel'ina's counsels. Endicott calculated •that the kindly old face would attract confidences and subscriptions, and he Judged rightly. Every mail brought numerous letters to " Aunt Selina, care of the Boston ' Daily Phonograph.'" The writers were surprisingly naive and circumstantial In the statement of moral dilemmas and their desire to exchange receipts for making angelcake land for washing flannels. ■ Among the correspondents one soon. dUttngui&hed 'herself by asking for , more advice than anybody could possibly take, unless she had a confirmed habit for the drug (good advice is a drug in the 'market, is It not ?). She elgned her letters '" Mamie A. Sawyer"; She lived at South Haddockport. First, Mamie inquired of Aunt Selina whether |*ltn walking with a gentleman I ought ,fo take his arm, or he mine. We have ; quite a discussion on the subject, and 'fiope Uhat you will settle it for us." ; Replying to which, Endicott, with a 'shudder, made it clear in the next Saturday's number that man is the oak, woman the ivy, and it is her blessed privilege to cling to his superior strength.

Next, Mamie wished to know whether skirts should be gored and stiffened with haircloth ; and Endicott cited the latest edict of the authorities on the subject.

Then Mamie wrote a confiding letter •—you could quite read her blushes between the lines—to inform Aunt Selina " that I am happy in my engagement to Mr. Cyrus Bodge, whose arm I always take now, thanks to your good advice, instead of. .taking. mine"—there was lavish underlining of words. Upon this. Aunt Selina felt bound to make a preachment on. the duties of a prospective bride, adding congratulations upon new happiness which lias come Into- your life." -Enclieott- prided himself on that phrase—" a regular earmark of the wom&nfitiod brand of femininity,' he calledf-it. Of course Mamie •Wanted suggestions' concerning her bridal outfit. Her ideas of clothas •truck Endicott as showy and unrefined ; he interviewed an obliging salesWoman in one of the large shops, and Was able to steer Miss Sawyer in the iirection of plainer and move durable Mlment. But her next letter begged for counsel lb an intimate and sentimental difficulty : " What shall I do ? My fellow ds ■aid to be going a great deal with anBther girl. I don't wish to accept half a heart. I want the whole or nothing. Had I better tell him so ?" And in a tremulous and tear-blotted postscript lihe added : " I should just like to scratch her face ! I expect that I am flreadful wicked, dear Aunt Selina." Endicott, in his' character of Aunt Bellna, tried very hard to imagine himself an old lady imagining herself a young girl, and could compare the resultant mental sensation only to turn- 1 ing a> double back somersault. But 'lie fently counselled M>mie against saying " my fellow," and exhorted to dignified forbearance and no fingernails. Miss Sawyer's following letter announced that her " gentleman friend"— is she thought it elegant to style him, thereupon Aunt Selina was obliged to Borrect her more decidedly than before —had been misreported " by those-who lire not my well-wishers, because of Jealousy, that green-eyed monster." But even than troubles were not. ended, for the drl «oon conMed thit eerfeMn "uaffMttwi ways of Mr.

■grate npcfi my ifeeUngfl. He eats vdffi ■his knife, and does not love poetry." Questioned with, lofty delicacy by Aunt Selina, Mamie admitted that Cyrus Bodge was a young man of excellent character, the support of his parents, the catcher of the local baseball nine, leader of the parish choir, and earning a. good salary as clerk in the village store. "But I have thoughts and dreams in which Gyrus cannot follow me," wrote Mamie A. Sawyer. " Mine is a lonely soul. Sometimes I really wish that that oilier girl had taken him." This was wtavtling. But before Roger Eml-ieolf, alia.* Aunt Selina, had time to reply, lie was sent on an out-of-town assignment in plaea of a man who was ill. When lie returned, alter an absence of two days, a formidable heap of letters awaited him on his desk. It was the season of spring cleaning, and the women seemed more than ever in need of receipts for warmed-over cookery ami ghostly consolation. " Dear Aunt Seliiift," was the general tenor of their epistles, " is there any sure preventive" (some of them spelled it preventative") "for moths ? And .how can I keep a peaceful spirit when my husband objects to cold mutton and to eating his, meals in the pantry ?" Endicott had small experience to guide him in replying, but advise : " (1) Repeat a verse of soothing poetry to yourself. (2) Take a stick and beat thoroughly"—he .had written so I'av when he discovered that the moths were No. 1 and the husband was No. 2. So he reversed the prescriptions, adding camphor or moth-balls for the insects. Then he worked off more of the letters as fast as he could. "A. B.—Always speak gently to your children. If your rolls show greenishyellow streaks, you are using too much soda." "F. V.—No ;we do not pay for poetry." " L. W. —Tt is better to cut the silk on the 'bias." (" Heaven forgive me ! I hope that is so. I always liked the sound of ' cut bias,' " said Aunt Selina to himself.) "T. D.—Be-ter that your parlour should have an odour of tobacco than that your husband should be obliged to take bis pipe elsewhere. Strive to make home happy." (" That is right, anyhow," Aunt Selina certified.) " G. J.—Read answers to C. D., R. H., D. M., and B. K. Godet skirts have a narrow facing of haircloth all around, and the back breadths.are stiffened to the belt." " I could do that godet song and dance in my sleep," quoth Aunt Selina.) The next envelope was addressed In the well-known hand of Mamie A. Sawyer. It looked as if it had been written with a pin, and certain letters were elaborately curled up at .the ends. Aunt Selina was informed that the writer was coming to Boston for the purpose of shopping. "It may be for my trousseau" (Mamie had taken several tries at the spelling of the word, and the result was somewhat blotted), " or It may not. But I need some new clothes, anyway. But my heart, dear Aunt Selina, is undecided. Do I love Gyrus Bodge enough, so that my life with Mm will be rapturous ? I shall get samples at the stores, and bring them to the office of your valuable journal—oh, the .help it has been to me !—and you must give me your taste in choosing all my dresses. £>oes that not sound grand ? You and I will have a cosy talk day after tomorrow. You must judge for me whether I love Mr. Bodge, or only esteem him as a friend.—Lovingly yours, " Mamie A. Sawyer." If Roger Eudicott had really been a nice old lady he would have fainted at the tidings of Mamie's Impending visit. Or rather, if he had been Aunt Selina, It would not have mattered much. But •the' w.hole situation presented itself to ihim with the vividness of a theatre poster. " must be stopped somehow," he thought. " Tlie day after to-mor-row !" He looked again at the date of the letter, and found that Mamie was due to appear at any moment with her samples and her sentimental perplexities.

He snatched lip .his hat and was about •to flee fvorn the building. when .he heard a thin, -high-pitched voice inquiring of the men in the tmter office whether Aunt Selina was In. Those over-ami-able, circumflex accents must belong to Mamie A. Sawyer ! To her the shipping editor replied that Aunt Selina's room was " this way, to the left." Miss Sawyer was ushered into the sanctum of Aunt Selina. Endicott, as he bowed to her, could hear through the door, carefully left ajar by the shipping editor, a sort of Greek chorus of suppressed chuckles and broken phrases : " A jay girl to see Aunt Selina !" " Always meet him with a smile.4" " Trim it with gentle patience and blue bombazine !" Then they became silent, in order not to lose the dialogue between Aunt Selina and her neophyte. " I wanted to see Aunt Selina,began Mamie A. Sawyer. She looked down with conscious modesty, then raised a pair of round, pale blue eyes to meet the gaze of a tall, dignified young man, who certainly could riot be Aunt Selina. Endicott observed that she wore a large hat trimmed with a whole garden of cotton violets and roses. Her dress was of a yellowish gray ; her gloves were pearl-colour, considerably modified by soil. She carried a red parasol with frills of cheap lace. . "I am sorry to say," replied Endicott, " that Aunt Selina .is out of town. She will.be away for some time. She has gone to cai;e for an invalid sister in the West."

dear!" sighed Mamie. There wereotears- in her eyes, and her snub .nose; reddened with emotion.. Endicott was quite sorry for her. "I am one of Aunt Selina's nepliews," ho added rather foolishly, for this might lave consequences. " If I can be of any service to you " " He's her dear nevvy !" breathed the chorus outside. " Has she read my letter ?" asked Mamie A. Sawyer, seeing it open upnn the desk." " No. It came after she left the office. I read it. Aunt Selina lutrusted her work to me during her absence. But I should not presume to answer such dedicate questions as yours. Of course I fan reply suitably enough to many of the correspondents ; I am acquainted with dear aunt's ways of thinking." "What does she think about 1110?" urged Mamie. " I am sure that she sincerely wishes to help you." returned End.icott by way of rebuke to the scoffers. .Tust thou a heavy door closed with a bang,. and the tramp of the sporting editor was heard in the main office. " Say, wliere's Aunt Selina ? Aunt Selina, bets are all off !" Somebody suppressed him; there were sounds as of a strong man struggling with those who would withhold him. " What's on, boys ?" he demanded. Aunt Selina's nephew has a young lacly visitor," said the shipping editor, in gentle warning , against possible lerlty. "We all come to AuntSelina with oar Joys and our sorrows, do we not T said Mamie A. Sawyer wttti an engaging sinner. ."Jcmet afertt (Mb tovrmta 4»

tfetiSve llself mucft longer, w ~""iff6nglrf the martyred Endi.cott. He resolved upon a scheme which to his fastidious soul appeared hideously vulgar. But it was necessary to get the girl quickly out of the office, and therefore he ceremoniously Invited her to come with him and allow him to offer her some ice cream. The chorus heard him. " The summer-girl!" " She comes .high, but we must have her !"

" Ice cream for one, and two spoons !" Amid these graceless murmurs, which can from desk to desk, the occupants of which were preternalurally busy, Roger Endicott escorted Miss Mamie A. Sawyer out of the newspaper office. The ice cream might have been obtained at the shop of the prototype of Aunt Selina ; but for fear lest Mamie should recognise the likeness of the portrait, and so cause fresh complications, !he craved Iho street diagonally, and conducted .Miss Sawyer to another restaurant. Unluckily for him, Frau Schmidt was standing in her doorway. " Say. once, young ma.n."' she [hailed him. You vos too broud for to bring your girl by me to eat ?"

Endicott cast an anxious glance at Mamie. She had heard nothing; her eyes, rolled up so that a line of white showed above the lower lid, were fixed with an emotional gaze upon his face. Ho saw that she needed very little encouragement to undertake the ivy line of conduct. I-Ie trotted Miss Sawyer along at a good pace, dreading every moment to meet an acquaintance, and he did not feel safe until they were seated at a hastily wiped marble table in a recondite corner of a confectioner's back shop. Mamie chose a partycoloured ice, which she ate with greediness, and at the same time, with exasperating attempts at elegance, curving out-her little flnger as she handled the spoon ; her head drooped to one side as she nibbled cakes like a mouse with her small pointed teeth. She talked much between, and even contemporaneously with, mouthfuls. Endicott instinctively assumed his most correct and impersonal manner. The Boston Brahmanism latent in him asserted itself in presence of this very ill-bred young woman. " You ain't very l'ond of conversation, are you 7" hinted Mamie. " I prefer to listen to you rather than to talk, perhaps," he said civilly, temporising. "And yet I am certain that you must talk beautifully. But there, I will talk to you instead, because 1 want that you should know all my feelings. I have a great mind to ask for your advice, and not wait for your aunt. You are nearer my ; age ; it seems as though you would be able to understand me better than ;what she could. 1 suppose that you have been in love, haven't you ? Have you got a best girl now 7' » "No, 1 have not." Endicott said curtly. r Tn folt a distinct sense of disgust (But he was unprepared for the broad and silly smile which suddenly overspread the features of Mamie A. Sawyer. "You haven't?" she inquired with arch disbelief. " You haven't ?" she asserted thrillingly. "But I know that you will give me the best of advice. Had I better marry Mr. Bodge ?" "Really, Miss Sawyer, [ cannot counsel you. That ought to depend on the state of yonr sentimerits towards him. If you care truly for him " Endicott begun rather majestically. " But I have doubted my heart all along. You know 'that by my letter to your Aunt Selina. don't you ? And •now I know that I do not love him." A slight pause after the word " now" wais made significant by a look into Endicott's eyes which was iso full of sentimental initiative th.a.t it gave him an a'pgry desire to get out. of the affair as quickly as possible. He felt himself stiffening, morally and physically, more and more every moment. "I think some ofstayingawhileherein Boston." pursued Mamie. "I am boarding with a half-sister of my brother's wife. I guess I can cet a place in a store, or something genteel like that, so as to earn my board. I expect that I might find friends here that, would appreciate me better than what Cyrus Bodge does. Don't, you think I had better stay in the city ?" She leaned confidently toward Endicott. An odour of cheap perfr.ne exhaled from her hair, in untidy curls above her ears. "Don't you think so ?" she urged. Endicott. was fairly' rigid. He spoke with difficulty, as if he were affected with a sort of moral lockjaw : ".You better go back at once to South Haddockport." ! The girl bit her lip. " Is that all you have to say to me ?" Her voice quivered. Endicott tried not to see her face. There was an "instant of quiet. Then Mamie A. Sawyer sprang up from her seat, pushing away her plate.; the spoon fell jangling on the floor. "You are just hateful!" she cried, and flounced through the shop and into the street. For h moment Roger Endicott sat amazed. Then he sfarted up and.followed the girl. His impulse was to try to soothe her wounded self-esteem ; he felt annoyed and mortified by the violent turn of the situation. "Miss Sawyer ! Miss Sawyer!" he called after her. He reached the door just in time to behold Mamiio run straight, info the ample bosom bf Frau Schmidt, who was coming ponderously down the sat reef. The old woman was accompanied by a man, rather rustic in appearance, but well set up. and having a kind and honest face. iMamie A. Sawyer, in the recoil from the concussion, recognised fjhe beaming matronly countenance before her. " Aunt Selina !" she cried. " Your nephew is just too horrid for anything!" She flung herself again upon that breast like a German feather-bed, and sobbed wildly. , "Ach himmel !" gasped Frau Schmidt Vot for an Aunt Selina does vou take me? See here, Misdher Entdi-eott, vou vos too broud to come mil dot girl to eat by me. Now vol you. dinks of yourself ? Dis yenfleman has sonicdin«w to say to you." " TVith arms akimbo she proceeded to berate Endicott 'unsparinglv. He wondered how ho ever could 'have found it amusing when she scolded the potboys. lie 'tried to divert the current of events. "Is this Mr. Cyrus Bodge?" he .asked in his best manner—that which invade bim bo popular at the Wintenset Club. " Yets, sir." Mamie A. Sawyer, who had detached henself from the old woman, and heard with terror her furious tirade, broke in desperately : "She ain't Aunt Selina! Oh she aita't Aunt Selina !" Then she turned on Endicott: " And you are nobody After which she wept noisily, moppin<* her face with her handkerchief knead" ed into a. wet ball. " Don't, Mamie !" Cyrus entreated her gently. "Oh, Cyrus, there ain't anybody teal but just you! Take me right away from hero !" ,"I guess, sir, there's been some kind of mistake," said Cyrus to Endicott. " And you and me will have to try to 'understand each other. Thfls is my side of tt. I api the man tbat Miss ftawyer

t>rom!sel<l ioT tnairfjr. ®Efis morning ray (boss asked me to come up to town to l>uy a, little bin of igwxJa, and I stopped In on my way to see it there wais any errand I could do in Boston for Mamie's folks. Her mother 'told me that Mamie had taken the early train ; she wanted to do isome shopping, and to see 'l'llat Aunt Selina that -writes for the paper and gives 'a. sight of good advice to the women. So after I bad finished my business I went round to the newspaper office, and they'told me that Mamie bnd : gone out with Aunt Selina to get ice cream. They "directed me to this lady's store; but she said Mamie bad passed ,f by there with a gentleman, and she ' would come with mc to find them. I ' was some surprised. I thought that Mamie was with 'Aunt Selina. Then she called this la'dy Aunt Selina " " I rosn't no Aun't Selina. I vols (Barba.ra Schmidt," asserted the frau vigorously. "He said he was Aunt Selina'e * nephew, and I don't believe it," declared Mamie A. Sawyer. "I told Miss Sawyer truly that Aunt Selina Is out of town, and asked her to honour me by talk!jug an Ice," said Endicott uncomfortably. The girl's weeping had become much quieter ; she edged upi to Cyrus with a cJiniging confidence which made him feel master of the situation. " You don't need to explain no more, sir. I believe 'that you done what you thought was right, I guess Miss Sawyer better come straight home with me on the next train." " Cyras, you don't blame me any, db' you ?" she pleaded. " No, (Mamie; I don't never blame you. I know you are a good little girl. But you ain't used to going around alone, and I'm glad to take care of you." All a!t once it appeared clearly to Mamie A. Sawyer's absurd little ecu! that Cyrus Bodge, land he only, was able ,to understand her. What did she care for that stuck-up man and that horrid old woman ? Sh'e was moving away, hanging correctly and contentedly to the arm of her lover, when an Idea occurred to Endicott. "Pardon me. Wait » (moment, Mr. Bodge," he said. "There's a very pretty piece on Just now ait tftie Tresnotot Theatre. Would you and Miss Saiwyet care to see it ? I have tickets for today's matinee, and should be very glad If you would use them." Perhaps Cyrus would have preferred to carry off his Mamie without delay to their, paitive Village, tout she, wlhose tears were now dried, leaving her face as pink and white and her eyes as blue as before, jogged his arm; 1 He yielded. " Thank you- sir," (he answered. "We should be real pleased to attend a per. formance a!t the theatre, If you wasn't intending to use the tidkets yourself." "No, he wasn't, because he hasn't a best girl. He ain't in love. He told m« eo," whispered (Mamie A. Sawyer. Cyrus thought that it had been tim« for him to interrupt when he did thfl confidences of the city man with Mamie. But a successful lover can afford to be generous. Cyrus (knew 'that the gdrf was now his as she never had been before.

" Would it be inconvenient for yon to ooane around to the office ? The ticketa are ffliere on my dask," sadd Endicott

Frau Schmidt for some time had been silent, with her arms twisted In her apron, which was a sign of returning good humour on her part. To her Endicott turned ingratiatingly : " Is one Ho haive some hot crullers for lunch to-day, Frau Rarba rn, ? I hope that Franz has not let them burn this time." " You vos a toad boy—get oudt!" sh'e told (him with the archness of a .hippopotamus. But she waddled amicalbly aJt his side, wh'ile the lovers from South Haddockport walked blissfully before. Endicott drew a breatih of relief when Gyrus and Mamie, having received the theatre tickets, went down the office stairs. But he had reckoned without the chorus. , " The br-r-ride of another I" "Me hated rival!" " Coffee and pistols for two 1" " Not three spoons !" "Aunt Selina is cut out!" Endicott turned towards them with' a dignified wave of his hand : " One moment, gentlemen ! I move that tliis meeting now adjourn—to Fnau Schmidt's—at my expense. I should like to purchase exemption from further reference to-the Incident of this morning." To which the chorus agreed.—Elizabeth Pullen, to the "Century Magazine."