CUPIDS DARTS.

Mount Ida Chronicle, Volume 31, Issue 9220, 8 June 1900, Page 4

CUPIDS DARTS.

JJSCULAPiAN LOVE. O. bid me not. Amanda, as a student of the Lancet, To meet you when the moon hss tinged the slcepiug earth with gold ; The evening is traditionally fitting, but perchance it Would bring about bronchitis, or at least a heavy cold. And, though we love Bach other rs but few hare loved before us, Wc need no outward token of unalterable bliss ; Leave that to those lees prudent ; the authorities assure us That very often microbes are transmitted by a kiss. Nor must you wish toward me to express your satisfaction ; It's truo that fate has severed us for many a weary day ; But still, excitement, as yon know, accelerates the action Of pulse and heart in really quite a prtjudicial way. Ili see you then at midday (please make sure the rsom is hasted To 60 degrees or to 61 degrees) ; we'll talk about tbe past, And how our vsrious ailments by out doctors have been treated ; When, by tbe way, Amanda, were you vaoci* nated last ? And so we'll meet to-morr»w ; I will sing yonr favourite ballad, For vocal exercises greatly beaeflt the long, And, having lunched discreetly oil an hygienio salad, We'll gaze into each other's eyes, and on each other's tongues ! •d» NOT UTTERLY DESPERATE. " I am to understand, then, Miss Plunbett," said the young man, outwardly calm, whatever may have been the tempest of passioD that agitated his interior, " that this avowal is an unwelcome surprise to you ?" " I have never dreamed, Mr. Haukinson," she replied, with cold and almost disdainful glance, " of the possibility of such a thing, and 1 beg that you will never renew the subject." "It would bo useless to re-epea the discussion, would it i" " It would.'" " You could never look upon me in aoy other light than that af a friend 1" " Never." He was silent a moment, and then, with a visible effort at unconcßeo, be said : " Pardon me for asking tbe question, Bliss Plunkett, but anything unseemly or repellant in my language or is my manner of expressing myself ?" " No, sir. Uaue'r "ircumstances, Mr, Hankiwi'.T, [ have no objoction to say.'jnr. that you expressed yeurself admirably. Your words were well chosen and your manner, apart from the—tbe emotion, which I need not say Ido not share, was unobjectionable." Had yeu been at all predisposed iu my favour, then, you could hava listeued kindly to me and —and might—might possibly ■' •' 1 think I may say yes to that," sbß said, pitying his evident embarrassment. " Yet—yet it made no impression on your-* a£ec—on your heart ?" " None at all." " And it will never be of any use for me to _ ask you again ?•" ** " Once again, Mr. Hankinson," said the young waman, coldly, " and once for ail, 110 !" " Then you weu't mind my telling you, Miss Plunkett,"he said, greatly relieved, " that I wis indulging ia a little preliminary practico with a view to calling on Laura Bilderback. I am going there now. Good evening. Miss Plunkett." •0» Miss Candour : I hear your engagement with Mr. Flightie is broken. Mits Mug : Yoa ; I hare cast him off. Miss Candour : Perfectly right. A man who spends all bis time with other girls, and doesn't call to see his affianced wife once in lix months, ought to be cast oil:. •A* Birdie McGinnis : I'll have nothing more to do with Mollie Dosenbury. She plnyed me a mean trick the other night at the ball. Jennie Uptown : What did she do ? Birdie McGinnis : She came up after Ihe first dance and told me that my dress bad split Dpen down the back, so I sat against the wall all the evening while she danced with my feller, When I got home I found that there wasn't anything at all tbe matter with my dress.

" If you kiss me again I will call mamma." " Well, I don't mind ; she is still a young woman." 00* Statistics.Confess I" he thundered; you are another's." She shivered. " Partially," she faltered. " This hair——" She pressed her hand to her brow. " and tile upper teeth I wear are borrowed, The rest is yours," •D* As the girl Hiee from his knee, a laok af deep concern appeared upon the young man's face. " Surely, my darling," he said, in anxious tones, " your love has nab turned cold r 1 " " No, George,** the beautiful girl replied, " I only wast to change to the other side ; the ticking of your watch unpleasantly disturbs my ear." Millie: I den't mind marryiug you, Clarence, but I have the idea of giving up my two pounds a week situation at the shop. Clarence : Then don't give it up, dearnst. I'll give up mine. I'm only getting thirty shillings. '• I called to see your father this afternoon," remarked Charlie, as he took a seat in the p»r« lour. Dora fluttered visibly. Uncovering herself with an apparent effort, Bhe said, simply ; " Did you ?" " Yes," replied Charlie. " He has been owing our lirm a little account for a long time." " George," said a nice young girl to her beaux the other night, " here's a piece in the paper headed ' Kismet.' What does ' Kismet' mean ?" " The word must be pronounced with the 't' silent, Nettie," replied George. " Why, that would be ' Kiss me,' said Nettie. " With the greatest pleasure," replied George. And he did. Mabel : Whose picture, Jack ? Jack (with confusion): Er—that's my sister. She's married, and lives iu Australia. Mabel (calmly) : Sister by birth or by rejection ? " Never, never can I express in weak, paltry words all my love for you, my beautiful darling !" he wrote ; but the jury in the breach of promise case the following yearlhaugbt he bad expressed £250 worth anyway. ••• " I shall celebrate my 22nd birthday next week," said Miss Glddey to her dearest friend. " I suppose you forgot it when it came round eight or nine years ago," wu Mieß FljppY