BRIEF MENTION

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 221, 24 September 1910, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION

**A little nonsense now and then, is : relished by the wisest men." .1 The Nelson Expedition sailed on September 24th, 1841. Miserable weather. Every indication, for a southerly "huster" coming up. Husband (rummaging through a drawer): Well, it's very strange; I can never find anything. Wife: You can always find'fault, it seems to me. '-• Liza,:- "I won't say 'obey.'" Bill: "Never mind, guvnor. Get on wiv it. I'll see to that!" Hob: "Would you like to see women voters at the polls?" Nob: "Yes, indeed; at the North and South Poles." ••';- "Mrs Neurich has no idea as to how to 'treat her inferiors.'' "Well,, you must remember that its onlybeen a^ few months that she's had , ; ../ .

"Why is it that when a man gets some money he promptly wants to spend it on a woman h© admires.^ "I don't." "What do you spend it on, then?" "On my wife!" It is reported that more than 5000 members have been enrolled in the "Kiss Not" Club in Cincinatti, and. that the club has received notice from? many places where similar organisations have been founded in the interest of "good ,health." Curate (at Sunday school): "Now children, we'll clo^e with hymn £89, 'Little .drops of,( ; Vvate^ : .' ;,Ndw/, do" put a little more spirit into it;" • "He's a confirmed pessimist." "Well, you can't blame him. The family that has moved into the flat on the floor below has a pianola, while all he can afford is a cheap phonograph." ' Extract from a young lady's letter from Venice: "Last night L lay in a gondola in the Grand Canal, drinking it all in, and life never seemed so full before." 1 Bobbie: "Papa says: 'Honesty is the best paliey,' doesn't he, mamma?" ' .'Malmma-: "Yes, dear." .Bobbie': "Wfell, how Hoes*lie know?" Marv'had:,a" 'Jitjtle lamb, • :<; ,'.,<'* But it she;' couldn't' keep £ '- ;' ' ;For ere a year bad'passed away VTwas^nea a- naughty butcher came, ■, Wise an the'art of, sham,,And x next day. on his teounter 1 The sheep* again Was lamb. ; " Teacher:" "What is a person called I who steals'?"1 •-■"'• No answer. -."Teacher: "Noav,' Tommy, suppdse ,1 were to put my hand ia your, pocket and take out a penny, wha,t 'would you oall me?" , ' Tommy (fully conscious of a scared' fity of coin): '"'Please, sir, you would* be a conjurer." "Why do they say 'As smart as a ;steel trapI.?' " asked the talkative boarder. "I never could see anything particularly intellectual about a steel trap. 3' "A•steel trap is called smart," explained- the elderly person, in his sweetest voice, "because it knowsexactly r the right time to shut up." More might have been said, but, in the circumstances, it would have seemed unfitting. Here is. a story of Louis Wain— tko> well-known- artist whose drawings of cats are world-wide in their ropu-' tation. He strolled into a variety theatre one night, and was introduced to a man there, Casually his friond remarked that this was Mr Louis Wain, whose cats.' were so famous. . The man, after studying his programme, turned suddenly- tb Mr Wain, remarking: "And what time, !sir, do your cats come along here? I • don't see them mentioned in the programme." ; During the course of a conversation between two women, one chanced to remark that her husband always put on a/clean shirt on Sunday, morning. The other replied: "Well, I ;nivver: cares much about Sundays, but ] always see that my; manjhas a clean , shirt on ivery Saturday aftern^n'-, 'cos that's th': time he generally gets -drunk, an' vif heshotjld take his peat off to fight T like him. to look" clean rand "decent."-.'.. ...yv.*p;v./ '■ --..-■• '■>■'■ ,■'??•'.■:■■■■