BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 205, 5 September 1910, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

"A little nonsense now and theri, is relished by the wisest men."

On September sth, 1800, Malta >v;as capttjxed fro.nl th> French. Chili has 80Q0 "miles of telephone^ forked .by,.an, JnglisK . " !,■ Aocor«ii^g to""a,Ti,',<#^al^. esUmato, there were in England ,^n^ W^es lastj year. 1^225 3 055 /more fe.nia^le^ .tha^n males

The Girl: "What's your opinion of. women who imitate men?'' Tho; Man: ' 'They' re idiots.'' The Girl: "Then the imitation is successful.

No man who has made money gets courage enough to relinquish it voluntarily; he gets stingier as he gets older. ~ . ■

Secretary (writing advertisement): "Wanted, an intelligent young man, unmarried—r—" > , i ■ ' ,' Old Grouch: ''Leave out the 'unmarried.' . You said 'intelligent, dint you?"

Husband (to wife, packing trunk) : "But how; .am I going to get my thing's in?" Wife: "I don't see that you heed to take much, my dear. You look very well as you are: '

A debatabell question.no longer: Ewe all know—-or perhaps Ewe don't, whether the wether werethere or whether the wether werethere. not. In any case, Meehanewe know that Mr Meehan has weathered the great Quibell. . 'Twas a long. Storey, and Bishells of evidence,were called; but —-that's all. ,

Prisoner's Counsel: Now, be careful and answer me truthfully, for you are on your oath. "Who was present when" the prisdner assaulted you?' • ■•|--/ :■-■'. ■■••-:■■■■.. The Victim: I was. Petitioner in a Christchurch divorce case stated that her husband during one drinking bout attempted to hang Mmseifv- Mr Alpers: "Did you interfeeE" They petitioner.:. "No, my sister did.'/ \ "That's the worst of meddling relations," commented counsel. ('"'; Patience: **T fear y)bti 7r-e; engaged to be married?" Patrice': '"Where: in the world did you hear that?" '"My < maid: told-me:" , "How did sim hear/'i^;" "A. policenlan: ;tdM;;ber;' '}. :"|iforS'mysteryv .■■I'lEf6%:-eame.> a'^ohce-ii in^^'kno^it? yQu'r^^eiJ^aged'- t<£teild; :#j^;jvhjto'the^ officfef.ikas, Jl?*Bng ima,mmfm^jC^'-.-■''

: '• ■ :.3Vt'a«i£B&& t),&.&'s6i?,ir >&j>pvcfc& ;dEy.ou. it isn't-' jpesMct*uJ';:^T-OTii^shoWld' fsay 'Miss^^rf^*-'^l^l^^' i(^^^ht,, mummy;' only 1 don't thinljp she; nTiinds.^ S|ie'/lei^ pa^aVqaJV-K,^ (.'da?,liiig' aSidt'ailgeF jusf 'as MdcW i&fa& he ■üßg*mm: mx^^mm::'m.;;--•.

A clever Danfek'iaidy, Frau Agnete vonf.; ptaja^itzf tlaifcelryj?; passed examination sifl. I^fapeijthagehytliat entitles her to act m; a ship's" captain. So good was her v work that the iudges marked; he* jfaper '^e|Gelle4tr ... has now obtained aT concession from the Danish a^utiiorities'to'pilot mail steamers to'lseJFjor.d.... !rf y^. ''.tf.iyrysi The Marsdenl and Disja-jc^^ruijt^ growers' Association, Kent j,: liavinjg offered a,penny ©acn for qii^en %^sp,ss the scholars of the Marden, School hay« brought upwards,of 600 of these^ insects to their hea^as^Br, who is one of a number of persons in the district \ deputed to receive them and give the reward. '

Three doctors were operating on a man for appendicitis. After the operation was completed one of the doctors, missed a small sponge. The patient was* Reopened, the jspftnge found" within, and"the man sewed up again.. Immediately, the second. doc•fcbr missed a , n«edle. Again the patient was opened and closed. Then the third doctor missed. a .pair of scissors. ' . .

"Gentlemen," said the victim, as they were about to open him up again, "for Heaven's sake, if you're going to keep this up, put buttons on me!" ■■■■-. '■ ,■■•■-' - * i