BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLII, Issue 276, 20 November 1908, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

♦ "A little nonsense, now and then, is relished By the wisest men." Conscience and wealth are not always neighbours. Real education begins when you leave school. Fill all the glasses there, for why Should every creature drink but I? Why, man of morals, tell me why? Sentinel (on guard): "Halt! Who comes there?" The Colonel: "Fool!" Sentinel: "Advance, fool, and give the countersign." The chance of two finger-prints being alike is only one in sixty-four billions. Household economy is taught to the girls in the public schools, of Belgium. The Lady: "Is he a thoroughbred?" The Owner: "Thoroughbred is ut? Shure, mum, his pedigree is tliot long thot if he wuz a human bein' he'd be wan O'' the crowned heads o' Europe.' A Southern farmer has a ewe that has had 16 lambs in five seasons, and all but two were successfully reared. The series were two ? two, five, two, and five. The ewe is now about 10 years old. Farmer Barnes: "I've bought a barometer, Hannah, to tell when it's goin' to rain, ye know." Mrs Barnes: "To tell when it's going to rain! Why, . I never heard or such extravagance. What do' ye s'pose th' good Lord lias given ye the rheumatia for!". • According to a witness in a case at the Wellington ,S:M. Court the employees at the Porirua Mental Hospital are encouraged by the authorities to make war against the rabbit. Some big bags are procured. One person, according to another witness in the same case, sometimes brought in 80 or 90 rabbits. A Careful Dairyman.—"There," said the honest dairyman, as he put a gallon of water into his 2gal. milkcan. "No one shall say that my milk iv not clean. If that don't wash it, I-don't know what jrill, unless I put in {i little soap." A correspondent of a Belgian journal suggests that travelling nowadays might be considerably simplified if a number of luggage vans ;on each rail•■Tvay were reserved for the exclusive transport >af ladies' hats. A recruit wlia knelt to Father Mathew,for his blessing said: "You wouldn't be blessing ms if you knew what I Was." "And- what are you, my dear?'' "I'm an Orangeman, your reverence." Why, God bless you, my dear, I wouldn't care if you were a lemon-man." The largest choir in the world is that of the Mormon Temple at Salt, Lake City. It consists of x 350 voices,: all beautifully trained. ' ;| The golden beams of truth and thesilken cords of love, twisted, together,!; will draw men "on with a sweet vi<H lence, whether they will no not.'! Puzzle: The twist! ■ ;■ NeAvly-wed Mistress (impatiently).:: "Gracious! Eliza, isn't dinner nearlyready yet?" 'Liza: "No, mum; an': it wawn't Be ready for abaht two' hours yet. You would have split pea soup. Why. it has tyken me two' hours to split 300 peas, an' there's 479,t0. be s^lit yet V' While carting fibre at Moutea., a young man named Green slipped off the cart and fell on a two-pronged fork, one prong of which passed through his neck and broke off short. The jugular vein was in. close proximity, but fortunately was not: injured. The broken prong ,was extracted, and the sufferer is progressing satisfactorily. . Visitor: "Wliat bright eyes you have, Tommy. It must be because you get plenty of sleep. '* Little Tommy: .J^Yes, I get plenty of sleep. My mamma makes me go to bed every night at seven o'clock."' Visitor: "That's to keep you healthy." Littk* Tommy: ' 'No, it ain't; it's so . that, she can mend my trousers."