BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIX, Issue 139, 16 June 1906, Page 4

BRIEF MENTION.

" It is safe to say that there are a quarter of a million consumptives in England and Wales," said Dr G. A . Heron in an address to the Eoyal Sanitary Institute.

Mr T. H. Woods, tho well-known member of the Christie and Hanson firm, of London, leaves a fortune of over JJ530,----000.

The Bishop of Carlisle, speaking on the dignity of labour, said they needed to teach that to a good many of the heathen at home, both poor and rich. "if I had ray way," he proceeded, " I would make sonic of those fellows with twenty thousand a year know something about manual labour."

At tho Eestaurant. —Diner ! (wrestling with a coarse course, of course) : " Here, garcon, I say, what bird is this P" Waiter : " Bordeaux pigeon, sir." Diner : " More of the board than the dough, I should say. Take it away."

It appears that nearly 49 per cent of the days in London are wet ones ; there is, therefore, more or less of a shower occurring in the metropolis on almost every other day throughout tho twelve months.

" Are there clubs for women in this town?" asked the suffragist from the East.

"Certainly not," replied the gallant Westerner. "We can handle women without clubs."

One of the most extraordinary methods of earning a living in Louden is that of boiling dogs, for the fat they yield. The fat is made up in packages worth 3d each and sold as a cure for rheumatism.

Wanted to Know.—" Mr Einstein, I gome to ask for Bebecca's hand." " Id is yours. Ikey." " Do de diamond rings on it go mit it, Mr Einstein ? "

You must carry a capacious purse when you travel in China. If you exchange two half-crowns for the money of the country you ought to receive some twel ?e hundred brass coins, of various weight and sizes, strung on a string.

It is reported that fully one hundred head of deer have been shot in the vicinity of Tauranga during tho present stalking season. In one expedition a party of three men killed between thirty and forty.

At a Westminster inquest a witness who described himself as a navvy was noticed to be clumsily handling tho Testament after the oath had been administered. " Kiss the Book," he was told. " Well, I'm trying to kiss the Book," rejoined the witness ; " but I ain't used to kissing."

A minister who wa3 waitiag for a train was beguiling the time by talking to a half-witted boy. "I say, Jamie," said the minister, " were you ever at school ?" '• Yes, sir, suro enough." " And who had the honour to be your schoolmaster ?"

" Maister Black, sir," replied Jamie. "How strange! Why, Mr Black was my schoolmaster." For a moment Jamie was silent, then said, looking straight at the minister — " Mon, who'd ha' thocht old Black could ha' turned oot twa like us ?"

A correspondent of the Law Clerk mentions two clerks with a Liverpool firm of solicitors who have been in their employ for 66 and 56 years respectively. Both are still at work.

Mr Kier Hardie says those who declare that Socialists are Atheists or Agnostics are either profoundly ignorant or profoundly uncharitable. He embraced Christianity many years ago.

If asked, " What animal makes itself heard farthest ?" everyone would answer, and rightly, " The lion." It is not so well known that after tho roar of the lion comes the hoot of the owl, or that while the cat can be heard ten times further off than a dog, the hare, with its awsome scream, can be heard far farther off still. Arthur Downer, a schoolboy, aged ten, shooting on the range of the Brightstone (Isle of Wight) and District Eifle Club, with a miniature Martini, made eight bulls with eight consecutive shots. He had previously fired only eight shots on the range. As a fat food (says the Lancet) dripping has no rival, and it is well ki own how satisfactorily growing children thrive upon it. The dripping-pan might, we think, be turned to good account just now by helping to defeat tho wiles of the adulterator of butter, and in this way it would be perfectly easy for the householder to insure for his family an honestly obtained, a correctly described, and a very nourishing fat food. An Irish soldier wa3 crossing a barrack square with a pail into which he was going to get some water. A sergeant passing at tho time noticed that Pat had a very disreputable - looking pair of trousers on, and, wishing to make a report, stopped the man and asked: " Where are you going ?" " To get some water." •■ " What, in those trousers ?" " No, sergeant; in the pail."