BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIX, Issue 134, 9 June 1906, Page 4

BRIEF MENTION.

Owing grudges are very .bad debts. A child's extremity is the parent's opportunity. ;,;V' { ' . ■ T : Does a bricle feel cheap when she Is " given away ?" -'• ■■ /'■¥■•• The hea^ of passion is of "no use'Jor cooking purposes. ' .--r Hope is like'the sun, because it brightens prospects. V One way of getting out of a scrape is *±o let your bbard grow. The population of the w.orld to-day is in round figures 1,480,000,000. ''- Icebergs sometimes last as long, as 200<; years before they melt entirely ajvay. The cost of the Metropolitan Fire gade is rather over .£IOO,OOO a year.' £ " Pull my teeth out; Massa Dentis', quic^t !" " Why, you haven't got a tooth; in ybur moulh." "No v|dey've jes' slip down my froat." •" Manchester has the largest free library in England. There Jasrie qv,er 180,000----volumes. On a rough average 45,000. sovereigns pass over the Bank.of England's counters every day.; f , v She : ""How many, men owe thpir -success in life to their wives?" ;■> He : " And how many more -men owe their wives to their success in-life ? " Swedish schoolchildren, gander the guidance of their teachers, annually plane about 600,000 treesi ah -'ny- • ; ; To-day the stock of gold kept in the Banks of England; and! France 'is about .£150,000,000. '' '■■"";■■: " The Woman with the Short Hair : " If it were not bo childish, and out of date, I could take a real good cry."; Her Friend :* "What is the matter, dear?" '■ I wore my'fiusband's .vest down town shopping yesterday, by mistake,; and there were three grea^f big cigars sticking out of the top pocket. Inever noticed it till I got honie." c- < , One of the'-strangest'prize^ offered by the French-Academy of Science is .£4OOO for tho person who discovers^ method of conimu'nication between planets. . 1 The most out-of-the-way village in "; England is said to be that of Farley-cum-Pitton. This truly rural spot is over 30 miles from the nearest 'railway station. J. Russell, a footballer, who had his | kneecap broken at Hobart recently, was married in the hospital, prior to an operation to wire the severed bone together.

A feature of the census returns in the Hawera district is the evidence they give to the large proportion of Australians who, during the past few years, have found employment in the milking industry. J A well-known South Canterbury farmer gives it as his opinion that sheep will fall in price before next season. For some time past, he said, they had been selling at inflated values, and many small farmers has lost, considerably thereby. Tired Tomkins : " Did yer tell her yer was a orphan without mudder an' fadder?" Dismal Dawson : " Yes." " What'd she give yer ?" " She give me a bunch of flowers to put on their graves." Every year the American meat trade at Birkenhead increases, and it has now attained enormous proportions, involving .£15,000,000 per annum. Since the great earthquake of 1801 no less than 1110 and 2025 shocks have been experienced in Nagoya and Gitu respectively, two provinces in Japan. A good story is told of a burglar who was once sentenced to a long term of imprisonment at Clerkenwell Sessions. Early one morning he was runaing at the top of his speed along a West End thoroughfare/.; pursued by a lady who vociferated, "Stop thief!" A milkman intercepted the fugitive, who promptly exclaimed, with admiral astuteness, "For Heaven's sake let me go. It's my wife, and she'll just about kill me." The I milkman allowed the malefactor to escape. He was a married man himself. A labourer was fined .£1 6s lid at Woodbridge (Suffock) for stealing sixpence worth of turnip tops, and failing to pay was committed to prison for fourteen 1 days. Howard Bingo has escaped from gaol at Eoswell, New Mexico, by opening his celf door with a lead key which ho made from shavings left in the gaol by plumbers. An Italian who was carrying an umbrella in a heavy snowstorm in New York lost his way and fell over a palisade 100 feet high. The umbrella acted as a parachute, and the man escaped with a few slight bruises. " Yes," said the old-school M.D. to the haggard, heavy-eyed sufferer " insomnia is, undoubtedly, a most distressing complaint ; but don't despair. I have a remedy which usually acts. When you go to bed, prop your head up on a pillow, and then get someone to press gently with his fingers on either side of your throat. You will find that will have the desired effect, I fancy." But on the following day, when the young man entered the surgery he was, if anything, more haggard and wearylooking than before. " Well," asked the medical adviser, " Did you try the remedy ?" '• No," was the gloomy answer. '• And why not, may I ask ?" " Well, you see, my wife's away just now, and there's no one in tho house but niy mother-in-law, and I couldn't bring myself to let her get hold of me like ■ that!" A resident of Maharahara did a little prospecting some time ago up one of the creekbeds on Wharite. He found several good specimens of surface quartz. One of the pieces was forwarded to the Government assayer, and on Saturday a report was received stating that tho quartz j yielded 17dwt to the ton, and that the ! o-old was a very fair sample. We under- j stand (says the Woodville Examiner) that more prospecting is to take place with a view to finding the reef.

The colonial youth is somewhat apt to regard a goal on the football ground as the summit of his ambition, says the Wairarapa Daily Times. He does not consider that the power to bo a great footballer ceases before a young man reaches the age of 30, and, as a life career, it is practically worthless. Football is an illusion, and far too much time is wasted upon it by its more ardent votaries. For Children's Hacking Cough at night, Woods' Great Peppermint Cure, 1 3 6d and 2s 6d per bottle. * On knocking off the lid of an old case which was lying in his yard, Mr Swan, a wheelwright, of Camperdown, (Victoria) was amazed to find the package contained a coffin, which was securely nailed to the bottom of the box. The receptacle was 3ft 6in long, covered with blue drapings, and fitted with handles. On the lid was drawn, with colours, the figure of a skeleton How or when the box came to be placed in the yard is a mystery to the finder.