BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXVI, Issue 232, 4 October 1902, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

Lost : Beautiful Spring weather.

Sweet September wasn't sweet September at all,and "gentle spring, full of sweet days" is not yet here.

Telegraphic communication interrupted in tfce Far North. Heavy northerly, gale at Castlepoint, Wanganui, Wellington, Greymouthand Bluff this morning.

There has been another heavy snow* fall on the back country, and young lambs, instead of "bounding to the tabor's sound," are dying all around.

The less some men know about a given subject the more they try to show off.

Even ? tight-rope walker may find ft hard to maintain his balance at a bank.

The average man js as awkward at love-making as be is at cutting fresh bread. '

It's op to a man to declare that appearances are deceitful when they ace against him. * * Few people are as easily fooled by - others as they are by themselves.

' "Bat can't you live within your income?" "No; nor without it, either."

Farmer to butcher: Will you buy a -cow? . i i. Butcher: Well, not wanting a beast wartienlarly just now. Feed it up for a few weeks, and I will then inspect it. Fawner: Not me. I must sell that .cow before the abattoirs are opened. Comment is unnecessary. The abattoirs will be a real boon and Josh Billings's prayer, "The Lord deliver ns from ram mutton," will be realised.

Arthur Warbirck, ferryman at Ohiwa fcarbour, who was drowned last week, was a member of the New Zealand Native football team which went to England in 1888.

When yon see a married woman Training a lawn mower it's hard to decide whether her husband is henpecked or jnst lacy. Fortune sometimes taps at a man's door while he is around at the corner saloon telling what he would do if he jmtf the price. IT- who is not liberal with what he lim already does but deceive himself Xnheihtfto he ™>uld be liberal if he had more. While taking 3- hot bath at Harrowgate, a Belfast srftertor named Murray waT badly scald**. He recovered £250 from the corporation at Leeds Assizes for negligence.

M. Camilla Marescball, a well known Parisian bank official, went to the Cbaprais Cemetery, and sitting down on the family tomb drew a revolver and blew his brains oat.

It sometimes happens that the man Who dubs his house his castle has the moat in his eye. "So you think you need a wife?" " Yes." " Well, nothing but marriage •will dispel that illusion!"— Puck. Miss Hedgehog (sentimentally): '* Every rose has a thorn. I suppose that's why I've got quills."

Tommy: " Where you goin', Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Sunday school." Tommy: ■*' Dag yer bait up yet ?"

Birmingham operative gunmakers, with a view to more effectually meeting Belgian competition, are going to send a Reputation to factories at Liege and other jpanmaking centres.

TJto £aa*diaa Arch was on August 12 dismantled at the golden Manitoba aram which, lias adorned it, and hundreds of souvenir seekers possessed themselves of small bundles. The biggest tree in the world has been discovered in California. It has a circumference of 154 ft fin, and is over 51ft in diameter. It stands on Government reservation ground, and is therefore protected from the attacks of lumbermen. prospective Buyer: " Now, as to the de^th-r^iu thisplace. What ia it?" Beal Estate Agent: "We only allow one death to each person.

The St.1 Columbian Presbyterian Ohnrobi Leeds, istobesoiabyaupbion. P#esbTterianism inLeeds and partly Jlthesemotal of to the

Barber: " Will you have anything on your face when I have finished, sir ?" Victim: "I do not know. Only I hope you'll leave my nose, at least."

We are all anxious to discover a true weather indicator—one that is strictly up to date. Not many know of the following method:-— f' Go out and select the smallest cloud you can see. If it decreases and disappears it shows a state of the air that is sure to be followed by fajr weather; but if it increases you may expect rain.

Not knowing that there was a cartridge in his rifle a recruit of the Royal Irish Fusiliers, stationed at Armagh Barracks, pulled the trigger of the weapon and the bullet entered the heart of a militia recruit who was in bed, killing him instantly.

At Aysgarth (Yorks) a working man and his wife have 12 children. One of their boys, the first, was born on Queen Victoria's Jubilee Day; the second was born on Diamond Jubilee Day; while the third was born on the Coronation Day of the King.

Father (to the seven-year-old son beside him in the dogcart, cutting the whip sharp through the air): "See, Tommy, how I make the horse go faster without striking him at all." Tommy (in an eager tone of happy discovery): " Papa, why don't you spank us children that way?" Sir C. Furness, M.P., presiding in Newcastle, at the annual meeting of the Broomhill Collieries Company, said one of the causes of the reduced output of coal this year was the large number of holidays. The tendency to encourage too many holidays so marked in recent years should be checked.

.. A countryman walking along the streets of London found his progress stopped by a barricade of wood. " What's this for ?" said he to a person standing by. " Oh, that's to stop the fever from spreading," replied the other, by way of being jocose. " Ah," said the countryman, " I've often heard of the Board of Health, but I never saw it afore." .