BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIII, Issue 288, 10 December 1898, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

WntD In tbe north again. Barely enffioieat rain to lay the dußt; Heavy morning dews continue, but "mountain dew" wantß indtag.— N.B. : Thiß is not a hint. Blue sky record throughout the colony this morning. Can anything good come out oi Piston ? They Bay the strawberries there this season are very fine. Oan't speak from personal knowledge, however. P.S. : This is not a hint 1 0, no! Thus the Christohuroh Press on the gambling spirit ot the age :— " It is perfectly true that gambling is not confined to people who attend racecourses. We are a speonlative people, and our speculation runß sometimea into strange channels. "A singular oaee whioh haa just been heard at Blenheim serves to show that there are people prepared to form syndicates for the purpose of exploiting the glorious uncertainties of the law, more espeoially aßßfleoting newspapers, the eharaoter of politicians, and the intricate question of libel." The sooner the law of libel m New Zealand ia brought into conformity with the libel law ot England the better for all concerned. The recently expected meteorio showers were quite a godsend to publicans, also to thirsty sinners. "Bhtayed out to ehee , shower o' shtara, my (hio) dear 1" A Melbourne paper has a story of a looal artist who painted a landscape with a calf and an adult bovine m the foreground, and called the pioture " The Mother." An expert rural oritio discovered that the adult bovine waa a bullook, and tbe artist wab overwhelmed. But when the pioture was once more made visible, Dauber was happy again. He had re-ohristened it "The Father 1" She dear little things t Maud : My mamma says she can remember when your mamma kept a grocery. Marie: My mamma says she can remember how muoh your mamma owes her for groceries. Measles is the moßt infections disease after smallpox. There are round numbers 3000 oheese faotories m Canada. The British Government realises £11,300 a year from waste paper. 11 Ma, the minister is coming." " What makes you think so? Did you see him ?" •• No, hut I bbw pa take the parrot and look it up m the stable. In Louisiana, U.S.A., the judges are not allowed to make publio the fact of their disagreeing. Miss Namganset Pier(ooming up suddenly) : " Ouch 1 Where did that wave go?" Mr NarreganseJ Pier (gasping /or breath): " I Bwallawed it." A Japanese bride gives her wedding presents to her parents ss some slight recompense for their trouble m rearing her. Dorset appears" to have two rather prudish oows. One of the local papers advertises : Two cows for eale, whioh will calve reapeotahly m March and April.— Apply, etc" There are supposed to be nearly 50,000 dentists practising upon people's teeth, m the world. A dentist's case of instruments nowadays contains between 300 and 400 instruments. First Doctor: "I've got to make a trip out of town to-morrow." Second Dootor : "Business or pleasure?" "Both. I'm going to operate on a wealthy patient." Tbe Inveroargill constable who was recently obarged before Mr Poynton, S.M., with asssult on a young woman— a charge whioh fell through— has been dismissed from tbe Force. Questioned m tbe Danedin Supreme Court sb to what he thought of certain mistakes m book keeping whioh were pointed out to him, a witness replied that he had known a professor of the Otago University Bay "Three times sev.-n ii twenty eight — eight and carry twn," and the class all laughing at him. She: "How is it that you sometimes show Euoh masculine energy, and again euoh womanly indeoision ?" He : " Ob, I BnppoEe it is a matter of inheritance, Tou see, half of my auoeßtors were men and half were women 1" Mr W. W. Astor has just won the wager of £600 he made last spring with General Owen Williamß, that he would dine 27 persons around the trunk of a gigantio redwood tree. The dinner took plaoe on Ootober 13. Sunday-sohool Teacher (illustrating tbe "still, small voice"): "What is it, dear children, that makes you feel bo unoomfortable and unhappy after you have done something wbiob you ought not to do ?" Dear Child: "Aliokin'." A rather good stoiy is told of a miner (presumably a Yo:kshireman, from the evidence of dialeot and love of ceature comforts), fle got badly injured one night, and on being taken to the infirmary was told he mast either give up the liquor he loved or lose bis leg. Looking ruefully down at tbe injured member he said, " If this 'ere wound cannot stand a sup o' good vale, him and me must part aoompany. Offwi"iml" . In these days, when the hand of the Anarchist as?aßßin ia lifted Bgainst sovereigns and statesman, it is gratifying to know that Lord Salisbury has a powerful lifeguard ever at his side. There is at Hat field a oherished breed of faithful hounds of immense strength and bulldog tenacity. One of these is tbe Premier's dose friend, and accompanies him m bis walks about ' Hatfield. So faithful a guardian ia he that Lord Salisbury, with a touoh of his characteristic playful irony, has oalled him " Pharaoh "— bsoause He will not let the people go. ,