MR COVILLE PROVES MATHEMATICS.

Marlborough Express, Volume XVI, Issue 176, 30 July 1881, Page 2

MR COVILLE PROVES MATHEMATICS.

Thske are men who dispute what they do not understand. Mr Coville is such a man. When he heard a carpenter say that there were so many shingles on the roof of his house, because the roof contained so many square feet, Coville doubted the' figures ; and, when the carpenter went away, he determined to test the matter by going up on the roof and counting them. And he went up there. He squeezed through the scuttle — Coville weighs 2501 b. — and then sat down on the roof, and worked his way carefully and deliberately towards the gutter. When he got part of the way down, he heard a sound between him and the shingles which caused him to shiver, and became aware that there was an interference m his further locomotion. He tried to turn over and crawl back, but the obstruction held him. Then he tried to move along a little, m the hope that the trouble would prove temporary ; but an increased sound convinced him that either a nail or a sliver had caught hold of his cloth, and that, if he would save any of it, ho must use caution. Hia folks were m the house, but he could not make them hear , and, besides, he did not want to attract the attention of the neighbors So he sat there until after dark, and thought. It would have been au excellent opportunity to have counted the shingles, but he neglected to use it. His mind appeared to run m other channels. He sat there an hour after dark, seeing no one he could notify of his position. Then he saw two boys approach the gate from the house, and reaching there, stop. It waß light enough for him to see that one of the two was his son ; and, although he objected to haying the other boy know of his misfortune, yet he had grown tired of holding on to the roof, and concluded he could bribe the boy to silence. With this arrangement mapped out he took out his knug, and threw it so that it would strike near to the boys and attract their attention. It struck nearer than he anticipated ; m fact, it struck so close as to strike the strange boy on the head, aud nearly brain him. As soon as he recovered his equilibrium, he turned on Coville's boy, who, he was confident, had attempted to kill him. and introduced some astonishment and bruises into his face. Then he threw him down, and kicked him m the side, and banged him on the head, and drew him over into the gutter, and pounded his legs ; and then hauled him back to the walk again, and knocked his head against the gate. And, all the while, th« elder 1

Coville gat on the roof, and screamed for the police, but couldn't get away. And then Mrs Coville dashed out with a broom, and contributed a few novel features to the affair at the gate ; and one of the boarders dashed out with a doublebarrel gun, and, hearing the cries from the roof, locked up there, and espying a figure which was undoubtedly a burglar, drove a handful of shot into its legs. With a howl of agony, Coville made a plunge to dodge the missiles, freed himself from the nail, loat his hold to the roof, and went sailing down the shingles with awful velocity, both legs spread out, his hair on end, and his hands making desperate but fruitlses efforts to save himself. He tried to swear, but was so frightened that he lost his power of speech ; and, when he passed over the edge of the roof with 20 feet of tin gutter hitched to him, the boarder gave him the contents of the other barrel, and then drove into the house to load up again. The unfortunate Coville struck into a cherry-tree, and thence bounded to the ground, where he was recognised, picked up by the assembled neighbours, and carried into (he house. A now doctor is making good day wages picking the shot out of his legs. Tho boarder has gone into the country to speud tho summer ; and the junior Coville, having sequestered a piece of brick m his handkerchief, is lying low for that other boy. He says that before the calm of another Sabbath rests on New England, there will be another boy m Danbury who can't wear a cap. — " Dambury Kewsman."