AN AGRICULTURAL EXHIBITION.

Marlborough Express, Volume X, Issue 723, 30 June 1875, Page 5

AN AGRICULTURAL EXHIBITION.

Although somewhat late m the clay, the following account of a recent Agricultural Society's Exhibition will be amusing to many of our readers, and serves to show that there are poorer affairs elsewhere than those held m our own Province. The article is written by " Outsider " m the Otago Witness :—

"The annual Grain, Seed, and Farm Produce Exhibition, will be held m the Volunteer Hall, Milton, on Wednesday, 12th May, 1575, when the following Prizes will be offered for competition :— Champion Cup— Value 10 guineas (the gift of A. Mollison, Esq.) ;" and then follows a list of 31 other prizes and honorary certificates for all sorts of produce, viz. :— Wheat, Oats, Barley (malting), Peas, Grass Seeds and Clover Seeds of all descriptions, Turnips, Mangolds, Carrots, Cabbages, Onions, Beets, Leeks, Imported Grain, &o. ; with a note at the foot that special prizes will be awarded to exhibitors of Provincial grown clover seeds. Such was the truly inviting programme which caught my eye iv passing through Tokomairiro a few days ago, and, having business further South, I carefully took a note of the day on which this great event was to come off, and hurried down and hurried through my business m a very unsatisfactory manner, m order to have plenty of time to thoroughly examine the numerous and varied samples of all kinds of grain, that could not fail to be brought forward by so enticing a programme iv the centre of so large and important an agricultural district as Tokomairiro, with a view of making extensive purchases of seed corn of all sorts and other seeds for my property up North, which I farm myself, and having taken a careful passing survey of the plain, I thought to myself, Well, if they do not produce first-rate grain of all sorts, as well as the best of root crops, here, where they are blessed with, so equable a climate, neither too hot nor too cold, being well sheltered from the sea by that fine range of hills, and, as I am told on good authority, being much freer from frosts than

most of the plains of Ofcago, and also being perfectly free from the blighting effects of the north-west winds and droughts, which play such havoc with our crops up North— where can they do it ? And, besides, their laud is of very fair quality and lies so beautifully level, that there can be no difficulty m farming here on the most approved aud scientific principles ; and as I drove ou I chuckled to myself at the thought of the splendid chance I should have to purchase some fine samples of grain seeds aud roots, and what a march I was stealing on my northern neighbours m procuring them from this district, where the soil and climate are so clearly distinct that the chauge must answer well ; and that the crops I was going to get from the seeds that I was going to buy would amply repay me, as I should be able to sell the whole of it at a very enhanced price to all the farmers round for seed, and even went so far as to call to mind certain of my neighbours upou whom 1 had rather a down, and actually grinned again at the favour I would make of it, and consequently the civility I should receive from them, even to let them have any of my precious seed at all, even at my own fancy prices ; and felt nervous all the journey, till I got back to Tokomairiro on the evening before the show, for fear some one or other of them might have heard of this great "Exhibition," and come down m hot haste to purchase for themselves. Immediately on arrriving, I took a careful look through all the hotels, to see if this were the case, and was much gratified to find that there was no appearance.

Numbskulls ! I inwardly ejaculated. How blind they are to their own interests. Bat ifc is all the better for me, as I shall now have it all my own way. The next morning came, the morning of the great day ; and I pictured to myself the uumerous drays and waggons, loaded with their precious freights, that shortly inapt put m their appearance m the now quiet tranquil street, and even went so far as to ask the landlord of my hotel how he thought he would be able to accommodate all the horses of the different farmers, who were sure to be here shortly ■ also, if the agricultural dinner, which v/as sure to follow so great an event, came off at his house. His answer was that be thought he could find room for the horses, and had not heard of any dinner, but that ifc might be going to be held at one of the other hotels. I waited about, and hour after hour passed, still no appearance of loaded drays, &c, and towards 11 o'clock, the time at which the handbills stated the adjudication (I thought this a good word) would take place, I ventured to address a gentleman who, I was informed, held the high and honorable position of Secretary to the Tokomairiro Farmers' Club, and expressed my fears that some of the intending exhibitors would be late. His answer was, pointing to a one-horsed cart that was coming up the street, that some of them might have stepped m, but that most of them would be there; adding "I don't think you quite kuow the Tokomaiiiro farmers yet.' ; I left him, and he joined some other inhabitants who were loafing about. As I went away I heard them laughing, and felt quite sure that my anxious fears were the subject of their merriment.

The time wore ou, and certainly there did not appear 10 be much excitement, and having tried to pass away the time, I went to the Volunteer Hotel to see the Exhibition. Having paid my admission fee, one shilling;, I entered, and will leave a commiserating public to judge of my feelings when on getting inside the doors (which were up to this time kept cart-fully closed, to as not to let the general public see the miserably naked appearance of the whole concern), I found four bags of wheat and six bags of oats, I dozen carrots, a dozen of spurious half-red pickling cabbage, the same number of a coarse kind of cabbage, which from its being indented was called Savoy, but was nothing of the kind, and two or three bags of potatoes; and m a corner were a few rusty-hooped flirtylooking kegs of butter. There were three men and a small boy m the place, and this was the "Exhibition."

I rushed frantically out, not flaring to trust ray mouth to give vent to my feelings, and set off for an hotel, followed by some of the juvenile inhabitants, Avho clearly mistook my state of evident disgustf and chagrin for inebriety, and thought to derive amusement from me. Having ordered my hor3O without a moment's delay, so tiiat I might as quickly as possible shake off the Tokomairiro dust from my feet, I went to the bar, and there was aocostud by a highly intelligent tradesman, evidently Scotch, who seeing my disturbed looks, very civilly enquired if I would " tak a toothfti'," and if there was anything serious the matter.

"Matter ?" s;ihl I, " I should think there is. Here have I been staying here 24 hours' fooling around, and losing uiy time to see your grain show. "

"Ay, weel," said he, "I'm ganging niysel' at ance, sac jist talc up your nip, and we'll gang thegither, it's on noo. I'm a member of the club, and can get you m free." "But, man," said I, "I have been there. D n it, sir, I have been, and paid for going m. The hardened villain at the door never even blushed when he took my money." " Na, na, they are no muckle fashed wi' blushing m Toko. But what saw ye, and what think ye o't ? I was told it was ordinar' giule the year."

" Think of it ? think of it ? Why, that of all the miserable attempts ab a Well, 1 can't- " here I got wild and incoherent, and I fear Iliat my language would not look well m i>rmt. " Wee], weel," said he, " dinna swear inon. It's awfu 'till hear ye, but I daur say ye may be just a thocht dissappoiuted wi' oor show, for the fac is, it neer was ony vera girt things, and it's no likely to be. The fac is, Tokoroairiro people cliima snpport thae kind o' things o'er weel, an' as to the farmers on the plain, ye can ca' very few of them farmers. They ken awfu' little aboot what raal farmiug is, but they ken fine hoo to work oot the land wi' crap after crap, and then sell't. I ca' them just bits o' farming bodies ; there is certainly, I wunl say that, a whene decent folk, raal farmers, hereaboots, but the maist feck o' them is jist what I hae tell'd ye. And oh, mon, they arc ill to deal wi'. Jist lippen some o' them wi' a wheen glide hail bags to get filled wi' caff, and yell see what bouny like gear ye'se get back. Shows ! ma certie, its unco little they'll waste their siller on shows.

Na, na, but jist let and o' them that I ca' raal farmers, sell at a gude fair price, a pickle of wbeat or aits grown wi' care, aud frae a raal gude sample, 'at he's been at an awfu' amount of trouble and expense m getting, and yell sune see 'at the price o' com is up, an' the hale o' them will stan oot fcr the same price for their misty-maxty trash, that they've grown frae saed vera likely ta'en frae the tail of the fanners. Tak ye my advice, sir, and dinna come to a Tokomairiro Show thinking till see onytbing gude."

Note. — In fairness to the few who did show samples of grain, I must say that what little was shown was highly creditab!e.vind the batter was pronounced good.