GENERAL NEWS.

Mataura Ensign, 14 May 1912, Page 3

GENERAL NEWS.

A farmer sent his boy to a well, with instructions that he was to bring back four pints of water—no more and no less. Ho gave the boy a five-pint pitcher and a three-pint one. How did the boy measure exactly four pints? (Answer to-morrow.)

Mr It. Heaton Rhodes, M.P., who introduced a deputation which waited on Hon. H. G. Ell at Christohurch in connection with long-distance telephones, complained of the lack of pri-va-jy of up-country telephones. He instanced the case of an old lady in a country farmhouse, upon whom he called one dav. "Aren't you over lonely here?" he inquired. "Oh, no," was the reply. "If ever I commence to feel lonely, I just take the receiver off the telephone and listen to the. conversations."

As counsel for an accused person, states tho 'New Zealand Times,' Mr Herdman was cross-examining an extelegraph messenger who had stated that he had delivered telegrams to a person for w'hom they were not intended because that person had said that he. was the addressee's cousin. "If you had a telegram for John Smith," said counsel, "and I stopped you in the street and said that he was my cousin, would you give the telegram "to me?" "Not if I knew who you were," replied tho boy, innocently. And even the judge laughed.

Opposing candidates are always complimentary after the poll is declared. At Cbristchurch one. of the defeated aspirants to civic honors fervently declared that he had been the first to shake tho new Mayor by the hand, and though he had had differences of opinion ho had always found Mr Holland a perfect gentleman. But here a voice interjected: "You said he was a liar a little while ago." After the laughter had died down the defeated one hast-('•-•>"d to explain that in the beat of an election one very often .said things that were perhaps regrettable, and which wore afterwards regretted. It might be that he said things ho might regret afterwards.

The second day of the Timaru races was a veritable "goldmine" to the police of Timaru, as far as by-law breaches wore concerned, and the officers of the law made a good "haul" (says the •Timaru Post'). At the Magistrate's Court there were no fewer than 21 charges of furious driving, either of motor cars or motor cycles, preferred against 18 offenders, all l'.io offences being committed on April 25 last, either on the way to or from the racecourse, in nearly all the eases the offenders were fined 20s and costs. Fn one case a fine of 10s was inflicted., while in another the offender was mulcted in a fine of 40s and costs. This is the longest list of by-law eas< s that has come before the Timaru Magistrate's Court for a long time past.

It is reported that a Kangitoto (between Palmeraton North, and Foxton) dairy farmer with a 4S-acro section carrying 32 cows, of which 26 were in milk, states that his gross returns for the first three months of the present year from milk sent to the cheese factory 'were £52, £4B, and £45 respectively. In the three months these 26 cows averaged £1 17s 2d per month each, while for January tho average was £2 per cow per month. The average for the last four months of 1911 was at the rate of £45 per month, and, for the last quarter ending June is expected to reach £2O nor month. The gross return for the nine months of the season will be about £385, or an average of £8 per acre for that XJeriod. The entire work on the farm is performed by the farmer and his wife. No doubt this return will be exceeded this season in other cheese districts, but it is a good indication of the quality of the soil on Rangitoto.

It would be well if those who have discarded their head coverings were to study for a moment the immutable laws 0? Nature (writes a correspondent to the 'Oamaru Mail'). The first protest —a bronzing of the hair—is but a slight one when compared with the next, when Nature asserts in a most decisive way her efforts to protect herself. This is by a thickening of the skull and the receding forehead of the savago rapidly develops. Going about hatless has no merit whatever; already I have shown what it leads to mentally. The fact that such delicate organs as the ears are unsheltered in the bareheaded person counts for nothing, and a union of thickheads as deaf as adders must certainly evolve. Now, if the hatless union would only take off their boots instead they would find that Nature puts on an armor of thicker skin on the soles of the feet, and by the threatened protective thickness being transferred from the skull to the feet their brains would not be in danger of getting squashed. Going barefooted has very much more in its favor than going bareheaded, and the brigade should endc~,vor to make a study of the evil of going hatless before it is too late in the season.