A VICARIOUS VIEWPOINT.

Mataura Ensign, 19 December 1911, Page 7

A VICARIOUS VIEWPOINT.

_ *, THE CONSERVATIVE CHINESE. AN AMUSING SKETCH. His name was Li Tak Shen. We met. said: ''Mr Li ' In China they reverse the order \ of things; the first name is the family name. If I had' been on familiar terms with Li I would probably have called him Shennie. ' "let us take a walk down Foochow 1 Road." He shook hands with him•.self i In China you don't shake hands with your friends; you shake hands with yourself. Unsatisfactory, but it's the custom of the country. and together we strolled. Ahead of us was a bareheaded Chinese woman. She hitched up her trousers The ladies don' b wear petticoats in China; their trousers are the same width ail the way down, and don't bag at ihe knees. The men tie theirs around the ankles. and looked down at her three-and-a-half-inch-feet The Chinese women compress their feet until they are reduced to proportions that make running for a train an impossibility ; it keeps their nerves from being upset by rush circumstances. and the vanity cost her her dignity. The coolie who bumped into her while her eyes were downcast, and knocked her off her stump feet, had a hat on. Li j rebuked him for his carelessness. The coolie took his hat off. Li struck him It is an insult to take your hat off while talking to a man in China. It makes you feel anxious about that bald patch on top when you've to keep your hat on indoors. But, no matter, it's the custom of the country. and turning to me said: "The impudence of the laboring classes is truly remarkable these times." As we turned | into a cafe we met a mutual friend I dressed in white. "I have just buried my wife," he explained—■— When you go into mourning in China you put on white clothing to demonstrate your grief; . and' you look with sad eyes on your washing bill. | and we sat down to eat with our i hats on, Li on my left Your guest of honor you place on your left side in China; and if a fresh guest arrives it's a case of move down one for all hands to as to allow him to take his place on your left. ' went through the whole course, beginning with almonds and raisins and finishing with shark's-fin soup The order of the menu is, like most things in China, taken backwards. ' and ho sighed when it was all over. "Did you find married life a success?" he asked our mourning friend. l"WelI," said the outwardly disconsolate one, scratching his heel The Chinese scratch their heels when puzzled; it saves wear and tear at a place we Europeans are solicitous about. Yes, we were happy; she wept a bucketful when we w r cre marircd I The Chinese bride cries like anything when she is attending the function that makes her the happiest woman in the world. and nothing ever saddened her after wards." We walked down the street as the night grew darker. We heard the watchmen beating their tom-tom drums The watchmen in Shanghai make a noise to frighten away the thieves; he doesn't believe in your rubber-heel methods of catching his burglar. and saw the people eating in the restaurant; the men being shaved in the barbers' shops; the patients howling as the dentists wrenched their teeth out The fetish of privaey is one that doesn't worry a Chinese in the slightest; publicity matters not. the old men flying their kites Your old man in China enjoys his primitive aviation sport; in fact, flying kites is something for the child to look forward to when he is old. and, noticing that there was something extra going, I asked Li the date. He gave me the year, the month, and at last the day This habit of reversing is even in the calendar; you tell a man what he; wants to know most after you've told hirn what ho doesn't want to know. and I was, after he had run through the formulae, made aware that it was the eve of the Chinese New Year. Later we sat on the piazza of the Aster Louse, Shanghai's greatest foreign caravanserai, and watched the tourist ladies with their large foot, their tightly-com-pressed waists, their enormous Paris models on their heads, and their voluminous skirts. We vatv the male tourists with the American accent take off their hats to thorn as they passed on the garden paths, and saw them hang up their hats on the pegs as tbcv sat down at the tables with the ladies in the dining-room. Li watched me as I took a quantity of fiery spirit, put some ice in it to make it cold, some lemon in it to make it sour, and some sugar in it to make it sweet. "Truly," he murmured, "you Europeans are peoole of stran<re anomalies." —A. J., in "Sydney Mail.'