Miseries of a Mille-Millionaire.

Mataura Ensign, Volume 15, Issue 1357, 19 January 1894, Page 7

Miseries of a Mille-Million-aire.

Yea, I found myself suddeoly and unexpectedly possessed of weal'b — uu-litui't-r) wp<il h, J-efof wlich t' e'R > hsohilds, VinderbiltK, and J«y G- uld's fortums p-led, and evf-rj Monte Ct»ri-toV f»b,e^ tuilltuna were, as nai'gh:. IJgnioOU'.fni •-• on" (honts.ud million p'uhiic. A one aud rantnoughts !- Tiy und conceive (he sum if you can, ><nd if you cauno', give up the c«lculrtfion in dc^pnir »T'd be content with wishing you hud got it. Why, the interest on i», even at 3 per cent., would come to thirty millions a year, over L 82,000 a day, L 3,424 an hoorJ ; .tLs7c* minute; 1. Great Scot ! It wai enough ho turn Ithe brain ot a chronic etatuttcian.

Hd#aidl oonie.by it? i Had. I. inherited it, hoarded if, or stolen it t Had I won it on the turf, or the Stock , 'Exchange, or in oome gigantic gamble ' *t MonteJCarlo 3 r Or ■ had 1 :: been.. to,-, the magic 'island 1 Where they have disi. coveted the philosophers atone, and ; dafly turn all other metals into gold], Wall; I am ' not very : clear on tbe 'point myself,- nor does it specially natter. Snffice it to say, that whs what ' I was worth' at tbe time ; one "thousand million pounds and a few odd pence ; •nd a'Bore tronble.it was .to.me, I; can tell you. I had no relations, to signify. I could never hope to spend it, capital or interest, if I lived a hundred yearn The thought was a maddening one ; •nd then my fertile biain set itself to work to devise some means by which thib mamllous fortune should render my name famous, and at the same time contribute to the well-being and happiness of mankind, either individually or collectively. Ah, I had it ! A sofaeme which — bat no matter. I would repair instantly to my friend Contango Pay, the stock-broker, and ask his advice.

I therefore ascended a modest 'bur, vending its way City wards. I wou d do the poor over-worked' conductor a twopence. I gave bima penny a half, penny and a sovereign dexterously placed beneath; vi :. .■ *■••; •■■■'/ '.\*'-f.r . Keep 'tip nVy friend, and' Heaven' bleu/ you'! .'']' ' l exclaimed, ! ( when, ' h«" , drtw my attention' to .the. supposed . mistake; and 88 I -walked away waving toy b»nd to him', -I could 'see *him t»p i: hiß fonhead to jhp p'licem^n at the.;co»r»er, whereupon 'hai, functionary slbo.^. tapped his oapacii-us brain-pan.. Good He»v«-.ns ! Wind people only think ' nut m»d for r ee".injr'rid of- uiy super-. Mr Dij'b -ffice.utd laid u»y difficulty before biro. ... , .,, , ..v ,; ; t) - . .'IJm Kur.e«l do cot t( fs;ovc what. you. . .can' do ;wiob jt,' he rnplied:: •■Tfoa.-Karf better invett it in first class securities, an3 ; tT>¥ri'ybVtt>»»keV:'ierriDle' 'bother in iheCity, forynu will have to buy up ■ nueh enormous amountsof stook, tntre ■ will l« to unnatural rise all round. They will. woDder what is up. in the Capel Court, and aq'sfe of the upecu-: iator« will bless you, 1 ' I can tell you. But ' I 'don't think you can look after yourself with a ta/ure like that. Your best. plan, would^.bii.jto^.turjtt yourself into a gigantic joint-stock trust com- : piby^'- S*e what a spleridid : in»eß'tmeof. and, l'vhkt'^ exception Security it-^-I" m,'e*n/ybu^wquld ;.6ffer. .' ' You could, wait »'biv and join yourself on. allot- ■ metit 1 if yoo jwent *S all" right. . That w buld. 'shift 1 ; your \ responsibility and ie*?ure you fr6ni'a)l;ioßß.|. ' V . .' liobb of such a sum: as——* *Oh,; one never' knows ! You can't -,fX^*«;j^%t ft( dawned. - upon i. me, thai Contango ■seas trying to exploit me, and thi't his fervid imagination had already piactdlhim oh my. board of prospective '*\&Bs<mi Uuii'"-'''^~- " '■■' : - .'■■ -$I*hau't;,;do, scything 0 f ih« kind,' ■ L' I ' answe'red'- 1 ';" r 'the J .one ' hundred thou»audtb Drfrt of tho ' money will ,be - nioir'e thaii enough for. me. ' , With the : resfc'l* iriußt'fltrive to . benefit mankind. Thiflitf what I want yotu- advice on — do . you 'think' it would do to wri'p to Government ' and offer to pay off the cried, the stockbroker,, jumping from bis. seitt.' < A.r» you naad'f ' When 3 Goßchen reduced the Interest on the Euods, do you know how it threw the money into the open market 1 You would ruin thousands of -poor. 'people, and make speculations id 1 wild-oat schemes more rampant than . ever. .Consols gone, where are we? Pon't think of it! - Invest in Argettbeßailßj.go to Monte Carlo]; take out •Vtheatrioal oonipiny, start a new Panama Canal, throw your money into the «ea| ; do anything insane like that— tjiere .vwillbe no loser save yourself—but don't,' tie .grasped my hand and tears rose to his eyes, ' for God's sake, don't do this thing— as a personal favor to me, don't wipe out the National Debt !';; : . r.v.- ' '■" ■ I made him no .promise, however, for I was., not, . fully ■ convinced... ..A wilful man will bave his way, especially a wilful millf-millionaire ; and as soou •8 I had i-retbrned home, I wrote a letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. In doe course arrived, not that energetic statesman's grateful thanks on behalf of the nation; as I had anticipated — but the following •tereotypwl niiesive ?— j ;;;■•;..-... 'Petit Sir, — I »tn directed to acknowledge recent of j^our letter bearing date ZOtb iust., which shall leceive attention in due course.'

Red tepein ezoejais ! Two 'or three dajCTafter my visit to the CUyJ sat disconsolately at the. windM^^Wf auborban reaidence., I lad, droppW a few sovereigns in the J road, and. wag now amnsing myself by watching bow soon ( th?y would be picked up, and by Vrhom.' I soon observed they were ,neiirly' all' well-dressed people, who did C£ want them, but this, I reflected iJlßiy, wbb the way of tho world.

Ql»ncit>g Hetlpssly. at the paper on my, km-e, I cauuht fright of tfce lol'ow'n 8 •P ttr fg r<< P'? under the heading of • B'Hoe, Iniftllig'.nce- '; — .'A, B->w 8 »*.'ji f J' no Bulkin, couductor, iv the employment ol the Gen-

eral Omnibun Gom|ntTty,* wbb brought up, charged witn o murderous attack upon his wife. Police-constable 9999 deposed that prisoner had shown him a sovereign which had been given him by an eccentric gectlamau travelling oo his 'bus. Prisoner anuonbCfd his intention of going on.the drink. O'her witnps-^s proved that he wan a very good huhband when sober, but it who uurint; t> fi of intoxication 'bat he had committed the aes»ult upon his wifr, from tbe effects of which it is not exptcttd the will. recover. '

The newspaper dropped from my hand, a convulsive shudder passed over my whole' fra.^e, and I covered my face with both bands as tbe horrible image loee up before my eyes of that poor home wrecked by <irink and crime ; the m.'O vhum I bad thought to bens-fit standing in a felon's dock — that it wad the same there could be no doubt — and all this sorrow '«'nd misery wrought by my accursed gold'! llt was no use to me ; was it no use .to anyone . else either 1 I moot not 'iitvest it for fear of upfetiing- the mrney markets of the world. They would not let me repay the nation*) Jebr, and it had indireotly caused the death of a fellow-creaure — a woman ! What whs I to do with it? Ob, heavens! ' „

' I sprang to my feet and was about to rnnb in anguish from the house, when the servant entering, announced a visitor. - :. .

- ' Show him in,' I cried ; anything to distract me from my fearful thoughts. I ' Well, sir, he is rather a auspicious, looking character, so I thought I had '

! ' The more ' suspicious the better ! He may be in want of absietance. Show him m, I say ! ' | The servant retired, and a moment later an angular person, of indefinite age, entered the room. '■ Bis threadbare clothing was reminiscent of better, days and. his countenance of ardent Spirits. „H is top hat had lost its pristine gloss, and his boots mre ' things of shreds and patches,' like Gi' ben's wandering minstrel. Bui I knew him. I remembettd bim as a clerk in a Ci>y effic-, and his name was Edom Pougher. I shock bim by the hi>nd,ucd asked him to be seated. j 'You'll pardon my intruding upon you, Mr Dives, but I have heard of ihe large fortune. which yon have come into.'

j • B*d news travels fast, ' I said, sadly, and he looked up in some surprise. « did you tiear 1 it fioai? ' , '"I "don't know. Someone in the

City. ' | ' Well, what can Ido for you i ' ; c It's ju.«t lik*- tbi', sir, f ■ Eclom replied, nmvousiy fumbling wuh his bat. | I liiiv»been out of a HHUdtion for a long time. Things have be;-n goint; from bod to worse with tnr, and, as you may perceive, my clothes have not been e^aptly getting newer in the process; so that now I am really ashamed to apply anywhere foremplciy-min-jaud if 1 wasn't, they'd beaeham-d to have me — which com^s to thb same .thing, or worse, for I can gvnerallv pooket my se'tfae of shame for a consideration. Now, what lam going to ask you, any is this: Would you be so 1 kind as to lead me three or four pounds? I could get a new rig-out for that. I should feel myself a man again, end shouldn't fear . to face the most dieadfnl possible trials. ' j How often has a similar request been proffered— sometimes by the truly pi edy, sometimes by the professional cadger — but bow seldom haa so modeßt an application been made to a millemillionaire ! ' Perhaps it ia because mille-millionaires are scarce; and well fha't; they are, for-there'are too many yd'iyi poor 'and ' too many very rich people in this word already.

, Edom Pougher wax au honest, wellmainiii;< fellow enough, I felt sure. I wonld not full into ih>> same grievous mistake an I hai made in. the case- of ibe.poor conductor. That. was too small a sum to do a man any reil good, only enough to lend him to drink and destruciou. No, I would give this man such.a sum as, would place him beyond the reaoh of wan an'd'necessity, bo I opmevl my desk and wiote out a cheque, wbicli £ handed 'o him, saying at.tbe ay me time :

' Hera, Mr. Pougher, take this, but not has n loan. Oblige ma by accepting it'OH a sma'l gift fix in a wretched man who has 'mors 'money than he knows what to do with. '

\ He took the little slip of paper, and gazed at it for a few momens in openmouthed astonishment.

• Havn't you made gome mistake, Mr Dives 1 ' said he, at last, • a fow noughts too many — or, or something ? ' « I think notj L 5,000, I believe? Yes, that is quite right. '

'But, sir, I am rxther a queer looking chap ju>t now to go and cash suoh

IMy bankers are prepared for anything, and the signature of Job Dives is sufficient to disarm all surprise. A Bmalier sum.you might, be tempted to waste. This will give you a. modest competence for life, for I trust to see you invest it wisely and safely. ' • That you may depend upon. Ah, if I only knew how to thank you ! ' •Do not thank me at all, ' I exolaimed, hastily putting a stop to his profuse gratitude. ' I bave rather to thank you for helping to relieve me ef a grievous and heavy load. '

When he had taken his departure, I uttered a heartfelt sigh. Perhaps X had euoceeded at li.act in doing a little good; and i making at last one poor man happy .' Then I betook myeelf to Bulkin, the conduotor'e, hoping to atone for some of the miecbief which I bad done j but, alas • it was too late. Gold was useless here.: AH I could do was to pay for the inneral o£ bis wife— my victim, as I folt her to be !

' Some time after this I received by post. the prospectus of a new joint-stock company! which caused me much surprise. I', wus entitled : ' Bguille and Curedenl, Limited, ' isnd was established to acquire an old and fiourinbi'g concevn for the supply of crulehm and tooth- picks to the nobility and

gentry. O^pi'nl, L 50,000 in farthing sharep. But the strangest jiart of u'l to me was that Mr Edom Pougher, the vendor, would take half the purchase money in pteferied shares.

Edom Pougher ! Were there two Ei'om Pougbers in the world % Could this be my Edom Ppugber t Had ha not bee a so poor as ho pretended to b", or what was th.; mystery 1 ■

Alas ! It t»b ttluoidrtttd on'y too soon, when BeguiUe and Cureden', Limited, camn to a dismal stn-isb (which it speedily did, for it appeared there was no longer so large a demand for Clutches aud tooth-picks among tbe nobili'y and gentry aa had been the case some years ago) and Edom Pother was brought up for fraud at the Old Bailey.

Ob, how eagerly I watched tbe p-o---greea of the case, and how my heart was chillod to ice within me when the facts 03me to light! It appeared that he had bought a worthless buaineps for LSOOO (my L 5000), which he hnd sold again to n company for L 20,000. Impossible ! Why, my dear sir, that Bort of thing is done every day — regularly ! Inevitable ruin followed, in which the poor. creditors and shareholders were involved — widows, orphans, needy men wiih small earnings ,- and I was the unwitting cause of it all. Ob, why had I not given him the small sum which he had asked for, instead of BUch mq amount as had only placed him in the way of. temptation 1

Stay ! There was one atonement I could make. Gold might . repair thn fault which gold had committed. I offered ' to repay the creditors and the deluded shareholders all that they had lost.

They crowded round me : the needy men, the widows and the orphan?, and a thousand more besides. My cheques flew like the driven snow. I paid whatever I was asked, nor ever inquired into the claims until I must have disbursed more money than ever Beguille and Curedent, Limittd, had bad lia-

bilities. Ac last,' two stern- faced men seiz d me by the shoulders ; and when I offered them money, they answered :

• Che qua ba bio wed. We don't want no cheques ! We'll check you just enough !'

Then I knew they were madhouse attendants. I struggled wildly with them to be free, and — —

••'•• . , • • And awoke to find that it was all a dream — iha& I did not possess one thousand million pounds. I was infinitely happy that I was not so rich,, if such dire misfortunes must follow the possession of unlimited wealth !