"AS GOOD AS A PLAY."

Mataura Ensign, Volume 11, Issue 821, 2 November 1888, Page 7

"AS GOOD AS A PLAY."

We had been advised to see St Mary's Church before we left York, and had arrived at the gates as To.'le concluded his reminiscence of Chester. There are several St Marys in York, and I do not recall which it was, the architectural I and antiquarian interest of the place being rather eclipsed by one of those impromptu comedies on life's real stage which make a trip with Toole '' sometimes as good as a play." We entered au old fashioned kind of yard before reaching the church. There were what appeared to be alms-houses on one side and the church on the other. It was very quiet, the morning being dull, rather gloon?y. Several gravestones, which at some time or another had been removed in the course of local improvements, had been propped against the houses, and at last had settled into the earth as if the houses were mausoleums and the stones their record*. We had to apply to an old lady living in one of the houses for the key of the church. " Odd place for tombstones," said Toole. " Varry," she said" 'When they asphalted t'yard they moved t'stones and put 'em there, and forgot to put 'em back." " Dear me," said Toole, turning a serious face to me, taking out a pocketbook and making a note. " This must be seen to. Meanwhile we will look at the church." "Varry well," she said, with an air of familiar indifference, as much as to say, *' You know best. I've no objection. Here's the key." She was a very matter-of-fact person ; no nonsense about her ; fearless in the performance of her duty ; independent in her criticism of others ; a business-like, sturdy old dame. She opened the church doors \ she showed us an old font. Toole suggested that it was not in a good place for examination. She said he was " not t' first as had said so." He made

several other remarks suggestive of a rearrangement of various things, which elicited an important fact — namely, that the vicar of the parish had not been in the church for over fcix months. Toole whispered a " Thought so " to me, and our guide twirled her big key between her finger and thumb, and in her keen way spotted the fact that Tuole was evidently a person in official authority connected with the Church, an Eccles iastical Commissioner, or of the kind. Thereupon she began to fence with his qnestions, though she did admit that a vicar ought not to leave his palish for six months at a time, and she was willing to allow that there ought to be no disputes nor mißunderstandings in a Christian community At the same time, she said it was no business of hers what the vicar did or what tenets he preached ; she did her duty, and her life and that of her old man was known to their neighbours ; " as for what ye call Church discipline, I clonnat know what it % and I donnat wish to say anything agen nobody ; w'en all gotten our fauts, and there let is rest !" " But I wish you to speak your mind freely," said Toole, turning to me and remarking in a loud whisper something to this^effect (we were in the poarch now) — " official duties not always agreeable — honest old person teaches me — reprehensible neglect — vicar must be seen to" — (then quite privately, " Let us get out, don't like joking in the church, though some people hereabout evidently quarrel iv it, which is much worse ), and by this time the old lock once more shut-in the ancient font. In the yard, the tombstones leaning against the humble but somewhat picturesque dwellings, were referred to as evidence of a want of respect both to the living and dead. " You would like them removed, said Toole. " Well/ "it isna pleasant having gravestones at one's front door and leaning against one's hoose." "No, I wish I had had your complaint before me when the change was made." " Well, we didua loike to say much you see, because they said as it ud only be tempory." •'just so, just so," said Toole, with very much of the manner of the soap boiler in ' The Upper Crust,' just so." By this time one or two of the neighbours came to their doors, and the keeper of the key's old man. " I'm not one as is fond of complaining," she said, now conscious of an audience before whom she would like to stand well, " but gravestones as companions isna 1 a thing as ye'd take to by choice." "Certainly not," said Toole, "they shall be removed. When will it be convenient for the cart to fetch them away f " Oh, any time," said the dame, looking round at her audience for their approving nods, which came with much promptitude. " Next week," said the Comedian, making a fresh note in his book. " And are you pretty comfortable] in your homes ?" looking at the rest, though no one but the lady with the key ventured to speak ; they evidently thought she was getting on so well, it would be a pity to interfere. " Why, we mustna complain. Some folks think we doimat pay rent ; but we do !" " Indeed," said Toole, " it ia so long since any of these matters have come before me that — I was under the impression these were alms-houses, that, in fact,' they belonged to our Trust, so to speak." " That may be," she replied, " but we has to pay rent, for all that ; it isna much,' but when times iahard " " I see," said Toole, " you do not wish to pay rent." " Yo've hit it," said the dame. " You are not singular in that." said Toole. " There are quite a number of persons who do not wish to pay rent, and some who actually refuse to do so. We must pee to your case ; but one thing at a time ; always a mistake to be in a hurry." " Yes, sir, and thank you ; they do say in these parts, c moast haste less speed,' but it isna often wen pleasure of seem' one of t' Trustees feace to feace, and one as'll listen to what poor folks as gotten to say" — a remark which drew forth a murmur of applause from the bystanders. " Just so," said Toole. " well, Ido noc know what to say about the rent, but I will look into the matter. As for these pieces of antiquity, the cart shall see to them ot once." " Shall my mester be digging 'em up ready ?" "No," said Toole; "wait for the waggon — I mean the cart; and, meanwhile, here is a littledoosoar.' Make what use you please of it — save it up towards the rent, whitewash your places with it, or turn it into a little extra tea " — whereupon he dropped a coin into the old dame's hand, and we said " good day" to the wondering neighbours. " Hope they will not be to much disappointed about the cart — hope they won't wait too long for the waggon, and we'll all take a ride. But it is too bad, isn't it, to go and dig up & churchyard, asphalt the court, and leave the stones propped up against^he houses ! Odd old lady, strong face ; she wouldn't flinch, whatever her duty might be. Did you notice how she nursed the key — reminded me of Durdlcs somehow, and did you notice that all the women wrapped their arms up in their aprons ; the old man hasn't much to say about the rent or anything else, eh ? — a wonderful old dame !" — Toole's Eeminiscenes in Evening Times.