Brief Comicalities.

Mataura Ensign, Volume 9, Issue 640, 4 February 1887, Page 2

Brief Comicalities.

A religious paper is discussing the question : " What shall clergymen eat on Sunday morning ?" Permit a layman to suggest " breakfast " as an answer. " Dream of eggs, sign of money," says the dream-book. Perhaps that is the origin of the term "shell out." After all, this world is a dangerous place — very few get out of it alive. " Carpets are lowei than ever," says an advertiser. How can that be ? They were on the floor before. An esteemed contemporary speaks of a person being "buffeted by a thorn in the flesh." We shall next hear of some one being pricked by the blow of a club. Book agent — "Now then, here is Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress." Aunt Susan — " No, sir, I've got two bunions already and they've never been no help to this here pilgrim's progress." The difference between a circular saw and a bulldog is that when the former is most dangerous it never shows its teeth. The reason some men never meet with any failures in life is because they never make any efforts to succeed. Counsel for the defence — " Gentlemen of the jury, if there ever was a case which, more than any other case, challenged careful comparison with similar cases, this case is thac case." A private watchman in Adelaide is charged with five different robberies. He was on duty but five nights, and this accounts for the few charges. Five million needles recently sank with an ocean steamer to the bottom of the sea. We hope the mermaids will take the hint and make themselves some clothes. "I hear that Fi'kina is sinking slowly." "Well, you couldn't expect him to sink rapidly. He's had no doctor so far." A grocer advertises "something new in coffee." We are glad that beans have had their day, anyway.