An Artfully Alliterative Anecdote

Mataura Ensign, Volume 9, Issue 640, 4 February 1887, Page 2

An Artfully Alliterative Anecdote

ANENT AN A3PIKING ARTIST AND AN \ APPLICANT. Alexander Adams, aa able and accomplished artist, and an acknowledged authority at all artistic adsemoliea, after adventuring abroad, all about America and Australia, and acquiring au admirable album, | artistically arranged, according as an accurate accountant acknowledged apt and appro- \ priate, and admired amaziugly among authors and artists as artistic aixd amusing, again, alleging as actuation an ashidious and absorbing activity and an ambition all athirat after artistic and advantageous achievements, arranged another adventure across Asia, and, accordingly, appointing an accommodating and agreeable acquaintance, an affable Anglo-American, as agent (agents, accurately advised and amply authorised, always affording advantageous assistance, arranging affairs and adjusting articles, an* ticipaciug and arresting awkward and ad<verse annoyances and almost always alleviating any anxiety and allaying angsr and aggravation), after absent-mindedly and abstractedly, althougn apparently attentively, approving and adopting all arrangements as appropriate, and as auguring an. agreeable adventure abroad, and after amiably answering all admiring acquaintances' affectionate adieus, abandoned au attractive abode, and, attired as adventurers abroad always are (an attire apparently about as antiquated as any ancient and antediluvian and Adatnio age at any time adopted, and aa affrighting and absurd as any art at any time achieved, and armed abundantly — apprehending attacks abroad — against any audacious assailants and aggressive assassins), Alexander advanced along astonishingly activu and agile, aud approached an antique ale-house, an apple-dealer's abode— -an apple-dealer advertising as "an amateur and aspiring artist anxiously awaiting (aa advertisements ann.iuuced) all artists and artists' agents' arrangement* anent adventuring abroad, and aU'jidiiig all advantageous assistance and appropriate aid ;" and again advertising as «v available acquisition, "an article aptly aud amply accommodating adventurous arti9ta' apparatus and appliances and. all accustomed accessories ;" and as Alexander Adams arrived and asked about: advantageous assistance and an article "aptly and amply accommodating" (aa advertised) "adventurous artists' apparatus and appliances aud accustomed accessories," an apple-cart appeared approaching, and "an amateur and aspiring artist," alias an accommodating apple-dealer, actually affirmed and avowed an apple-cart appropriately accounted and advertised as "an article aptly and amply accommodating adventuring artists' apparatus and appliances and uocu&stomed accessories," and Alexander, astonished and angry, agitated and aggravated, also, at an apple-dealer's atiocions audacity, accounting an apple-cart an appropriate accommodation, assuming an awful aspect, aoriminouely abused all apple-dealera aa absurd $sees and | addle-headed &p.ea, and, RGo«mul»ting annoy*

ing and abusive, affronting and arrogant accusations — ay, and alas ! and alack-a-day, abominable aud appalling anathemas also, absolutely annulled all arrangements, and abruptly abandoned all artistic sdve-nture across Asia, and, as abandoning Asiatic adventure amazoti all artists, Alexander alleged, as affordiug all acquaintances an adequate answer, *' An Absurd Apple-cart answering an artistic advertisement aroused anger and allayed adventurous aspirations."