The Progress of Divorce; or, the Family of the Future.

Mataura Ensign, Volume 6, Issue 304, 9 November 1883, Page 6

The Progress of Divorce; or, the Family of the Future.

1 Pater-familias Watkins— " That little shaver over there on the wall ia my second child : by my first wife ; and the one near him, with/., light hair, is "my wife's first by" tier second 7 - husband. .The*osher*!; 9 ae > •'thei spofton his, nose, is my second wife's by her first hus•bapd ; and we've got some of the last batch ,ardund somewhere— but oh 1 its awfully miked; can scarcely keep track of them. Hcjwever we- call them all Watkins."

I-'*-* (Why shouldn't a portrait-painter make bis. sitters pay in proportion to ' their ugliness t i ,He might put it to them delicately, but. ■ firmly). Alderman Sir Robert :■*■•*• Ah, verj.'. like the Colonel— very like indeed J Five*. 'hundred guineas, did you say? "Vfe^l, "I should like you to paint me like that." Our Artist : "Oh, for you, Sir Robert,' it would be two thousand ! I don't -wish to fiatterj * . but you have— a— a very expfensive .cast of ..features. The Colonel's features are ordi-' r . nary, poor old chap I Hook noae, 1 short . upper lip, prominent chin, little mouth, high f orehead and all that, vou kuow— very cheap* ifadeed!" " * " ' -7 it is now certain that the wreck found, oa .'. '• Mount Ararat is the remains of Noah's ark. "■ They know it by the grease mark in the bunk: ; where Ham was stowed! . The high-school girl severely reprimanded 'her brother yesterday for using the phrase' ' . i-,"' not to be sneezed at." She says he ought to say, "occasioning* no sternutatory convulsions." . . ,". •? Your honour," said a lawyer to the judge, " eyery man who knows me knows that I •* ■ am incapable of lending my aid to a mean , pause." ••That's so," said his opponent ': '""* learned gentleman never lends himself to a mean cause — he always gets cash down, '*. A'gentlera'an iriqaired of a humble THi- ■"* . bernian the reason why his country arc so apt, to : mako "bulls. "• "I'll tell you that, your' honour. n "We never make bulls in our owi. if_ngu«ge ,* it is* when we speak English thafe* we do it— so, your honour, ihey are JSnglish: . bulls, not Irish." '■■ • t There was a ltd, sad look on her fact ai •he iat down >et the piano, andjdeftly evoking; the music of ite chords, sang to him~ " „. • "."ow«i*y I»m growing; old; , ... •I-■ ". . ■•-! BUver' thmtJi among* flie ■feoW?'' " - -*' itDeeply affeQted by the revelation, He. jaid! M '• -v himself j; V Is it indeed so badas that?". ' And f . * without waiting for the conolusioa pf •*£« 7 , .seng, he. w;ent,out.and ; liO).ght her abottleot hairdy.o.iu • ' -•-./. ./ -; t - - •; -,:.-, = ;""./ .■"■' Jin Sniverly;had been Absent feoai AiutteV; t ;&r several years. He returned ai»t :lon*^f /rince and one of.the; first men he met vwa >BiUT__J-ersonv-* .They; had* just taken a sooirt .r .drinlcjjifhen -Jilt.temarked 'i- « Do'.yt>a»;jre. v u member Sally Jane Benderlyt" « Thati/r. ;great)v big, .gawky* redheaded * g i r i: -with: freckles as bigas a dime all ovei* herinoie-'.' v»r ."Yes ; that's^thegal.'? "Of ceuisel^ememteßt ;.. her.' -Nobody could ever forget her.^:=lti». * fmpojM-blafto duplicate a face like thaK fife** ', like a catfish. "jWhat.iof he??',' , ; : MOh nothing ; exbept that 999 wmy wil*?* .-i :■ ■■ • • . -