AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING.

Mataura Ensign, Volume 6, Issue 303, 6 November 1883, Page 2

AN EYE FOR EVERYTHING.

Br Cyclojp.. It appears that hatnaii beings have -passe*- * the rapids and the whirlpool of Niagara alive, s but, which adds to the wonder, in a steamer. About the year 18-6 % man built a steamer between the npids and the falls for the purpose of conveying passengers into the spray and foam of the falling sky of waters. It did not pay, and he had an offer fprthe-boat if delivered- below the whirlpool or above * '' the falls. The idea of steaming up the falls discouraged even a Yankee. But he got three men to offer to take her down the furious rapids and past the whirlpool where Captaiu Webb perished. A great crowd collected and the sightywa. appalling, but the' : ' dare devils succeeded. The wife of one of the men said he was twenty years older in the evening of that day than he was in the morning. , . . The lunatics who oppose vaccination get' ' up an annual debate in the House of Commons, where they appear to command some 16 votes out of 600. A few of tlie facts cited against them arethe following .: In the 18th century there died from smallpox 3000 per million in Bngland oach year. That is, "ten per cent of the population actually died of thia fell disease. From 1800 to 1840 vaccination was voluntary and the deaths were 600 per million per annum— or two per cent of human life. . From 1840. to /1 854 ; vaccina- - : tion. wai free" but not compulsory, Vhd: tlie deaths were 305 per rmJJion^yearly. From 1854 to 1871 an imperfect compulsory Act was in force and the deaths-were 203. From 1871 to the present,, under, v a, more, stringent __ct,the deaths have only beext^l-S&p'er niillio_f '■>- in each year. " O what a falling off was there 1" From ten por cent bf human life to one-half per cent ! Though perhaps drain- . j age wag bad when the former figure waa I reached, yet I think Jetiher had saved mVre - J life than any' warrior ever, destroyed; Ho •; deserves a double extra firstclass. Royal - ■ Humane Society medal. '" "' ■ ' J " " TheFonians love darkness j and are therefore at home in railway tunnels. The ox- . "plosions the other day in London were " amazing in their purposeles'sness. Was it the object to kill a few hundred rhore- or* less y loyal subjects of the Queen, or simply- to damage the property, of a company? Are Tthey so pressed -by the '"police "-' tiiat no'- less secret place than an underground railway could be used by them? Or. was- the .whole „ thing the work of a rival Railway Company f '" If it really was the work- of- Fenians there is one comfort, that .they will by^and-bye have tunnels or pits, and darkness that' may be described as " outer," to their hearts' content. There, however, they will scarcely be able to store dynamite. An Invercargill •- man, when he read the message at* breakfast ' L ] exclaimed, "There, they're, spending the money that Redmond gol here." By-the-bye, it hai not trau.pired'how much he got in the Southern yM'yjid uTs, .. _ yv /y ,'= "T *£, .. The Bishop of Dunedin aj; the "opening of the Synod the other- day reminded his clergy that last year he had spoken of- the uniflca- f tion of divided Christendom. He was- ••*- --now happy ,to say that his hopewere beiDg realised. He" had' dur- "'" ing the year received from other bodies three ministers. Now as these came to.him, it appears, from having changed their views and being out of sympathy mjJa^eir ped-__3____y_ tions /Behind them* I do not gee 'that' the' 1 • Bishop has done much to heal the breaches ..: that divide millions. ' Three men who simply change the site qt ibfiiv outness aro a'"'« very ridiculous mause" far. such -.bagmbuntamta . bring forth. To my mind three layman who had ~ i; iqjb loaves and fishes to consider would be an 'acauisition far more boas tworthy, , I'he Bishop's idea of the " unification of divided Christendom " is interesting. It is to absorb the other fragments into himself.' Thus the "cat seeks to be united to canaries, chickens, and mice. The three rqice assimilated in the present instance are, first, the Rev O'Callaghan. He was formerly a Catholic priest. He kas the appearance of a jolly fat friar who lives S well and loves the ladies. He is stationed at Gladstone. - The uncharitable aay 1 regarding that charge, that it has just . • had a paraqn on his way to Rome, and now it has one on his way back. lam reminded of an epic entitled "The ..Pilgrims and the Peas/ Mr O'Callaghan is the one who boiled his peas, and who, eomingNUcVmeets^* his'fellow still limping forward. Gladstone is tjie meeting p^ce. The ot^er, t\vo. recruits Tfhjiim the ' B.ishqp bas detached from one ,' fragment of Christianity and united to another are the Revs. Gibson and Martin, both Wesleyan... It is surprising to me that/ the > Bishop is glad to get into the ranks of his •' own clergy the students and probationers of a body whose, tried and full-blown rapty bja . . would affect tq de§niqe; "lie. said~t_V_re Were ' qthers who had mide overture^ to, him, an d hai then decided' to stay where they were. He did not cite a. case in which he had ,re-. , jected one who made an overture/: It wouid' ■ appear that the despised,,ranting, uneducated Methodist preacher has only to hold up _v's finger to get into apostolic succession, ar\d be ,a reflne^ asd t^qughtfuLman. y- :-„ y~ ' , .. :.? It is said, in Inveircargiir that'the Rev. flfr J Paterson is about ito seek" fresh fields and pastures new— in Napier. He will certainly c / leave a hole in the religious world that will 5 v* talse some filling. The strain of keeping his ambitious eh arch afloat, and of interesting ' his heterqgeneous congregation, is becoming • very heavy. The debt on the church will be a " heritage of woe " for somebody, when the seatholders are scattered whence they came, ,

j ■ The Congregationalists are about to open in Invercargill— another step towards the ! unification of divided' Christend.m.. Mr. Paterson'- leaving may give then, a chance, but on the other hand the SalyatiOnJsts gbihg about like roaring lions peeking whom fchqy may devoui: wtfl Jmake .it ;tigh,t; work to. squeeze in. It is noteworthy' that the old Congregational Church has- just been demolished. Is the omen good . Mr Colin M'Kay is dead. A place is empty l n , th< . Borpugh Cqunqil, inthe School Committee, the Athanteum Committee, and otl^er bodies. Colin was an honest and outspoken man, who h*ted jobbery and snobbery; but ws*s aWiy^ea&y . ' Peace, .tp .his a^hes; he will .afflict his enemies nd'more. What will " Gore " coine'to . Qqe of the intelli§^t.cq^s iftjfch h^« -hefree varied^i (;. f unfenced sections of the. township, after hearing the discussion on the nominative in t_je, Courthouse the other evening, forthwith pro-,, | ceeded to- insert her horn under the gridW ; ' fastening qf a gate within which were visible ... sweet herbs and flowers, and with a toss of the head triumphantly entered and moo-.ed ' 't Gqre " tq tbqse who atttnipted to eject hc^r. .•;.••■■.. yy.y^/. . 'r kJ.b ■ h rin My readers will want to know what Jud«. Ward made Patrick Maloney say. Two Irish lawyers appeared, and r requested the English Judge to make Maloney 'speak. The Judge thought he was inj, hard case. How. ever, he tried, with remarkable results « I can speak po. English: at ibH*" s^diPatriokl Thii wa« English m words, ¥v . ftfrfTjij qjJ»^

ing. Pat evidently' thinks in his motlar tongue. lama" soured " man. I ask with Falstaff "Is i here no virtue extant?" Didn't 1 take shares in the meat-freezing business and piff it up by all means in my power? Didn't I rejoice, in the good prices realised and say.it vcas a grand thing for the country 1 I defy anybody to say I didn't. What is my rewird? What dividend doi get? Why I get a demand for Id per lb more for my meat, which I eat here in New Zealand, and which is never-f roze.h at all 1 My family is not one of the' largest I know, but my butcher's bill will be raised to the, tune of L 6 per anniim. The worst of it is. that this rise will spoil the frofit«\Of ..the,, freezing . business, and thus 11 be clone on that side too I , y T.bave hpard of a wedding recently celebr*ted,.'.the groom in^which. stuttered very, badly.. Remade, a terrible.fist of the pgrt ni whiefc." he promises to , obey, and,, feed the babies Vt nights, -This set air the girls titter>*Ts£, tj_en giggling, then laughing, then ,^parin«,, AtT«st,tb«,.pai;.on ; was in despair, and wasi,»fwd,„t£at. the poor .fellow, would-be _«_.#! with lockjaw. „He. therefore asked the bridtifißhe'dbe satisfied ,A.,he read the paspage and let the groom nod his • head, lhe bride agreed, -the. parson .read,, the groom nodded, and the girls roared again. On two Tue. day mornings past, as I sat at breakfast looking for any improvements that tbo' printer's devil might have introduced into my: .column, Mrs- Cyclop has suddenly exclaimed, ..?,^h, jps btast 1 hay? yoa been . .making in 'this room again ?". 1 assured her,. in vain,, that I had not, though I-admitted'^ smelling tobacco., , Now, on eachoccasi.on.it; ; turne^.out to^e the .Ensign that was giving off -he"_n_e-T. Howls' this thti's? : ' ;