CHRISTMAS CRACKERS

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 4032, 5 January 1932, Page 7

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS

(From the General Press Ltd.)

What liquor is most catching?— Gin. What country expresses sorrow?— Wales. What plaything is above every other? —The top. What word is always pronounced wrong ? —‘ ‘ Wrong. ’ ’ Why is a horse like a beok ?—Because each has a tale. Which county in England has very bad roads?— Rutland. Why is a river lazy?— Because it's in bed all night and all day. What is the cheapest meal you can have ?—A roll on the grass. Why is a doll like jelly?— Because it is made with eyes in glass. In what part of the church do they ring the belles?—At the altar. What is that which goes down clean and comes up black?—A miner. Why can you never get to the end of the world?— Because it is round. What is that which shows others what it cannot see itself? —A mirror.

When is an extravagant young man like a dog?— When he’s curtailed. Why is an egg like a colt? —Because it is not fit to use till it is broken.

When is a muddy road like a loaded rifle?— When it is full of cart ridges. What word can you pronounce quicker by adding a syllable to it?— Quick. Why is. an orange like a church steeple? —Because we have a peel from it.

Why is the letter “t ” like an island? —Because it is in the middle of water. Why is firo paradoxical?; —Because the more it’s cold the hotter it gets. Why is a ship builder like a young duck ?—Because he makes for the water. Why is ambition like a weathercock? —Because it is a vain thing to a-spire. Why is a baby like an expensive fish? ■—Because he is such a dear little soul. Why is a short man like a popular book ?—Because he is so often looked over. Why is the best inn in England most disagreeable? —Because it’s inconvenient. Why is the letter B lazy?— Because it is always in “ bed ” and never in “ work.” When is a Scotsman like a donkey?— When he stands on his banks and braes. What is that which when “ thrown out ” may be caught without hands?— A hint. When may a man be said to bridge a difficulty ?—When he makes - an arch smile. Why should a man give his motor a good rest every day!'—Because it is tyred (tired). When do your teeth usurp the functions of the" tongue ! J —When they are chattering. Whv are good X'esolutions like tainting ladies? —Because they want carrying out. Why is a man who cannot make another joke like an umbrella ?—Because lie is used up. Who first introduced salt provisions into the navy) —Noah; tor he had Ham m the ark. What belongs to yourself ami is used by everybody moj’e than yourself ? Your name. Why is a woman like a pair of skates? Because they have both occasioned the fall of man.