HOW TO LAUGH FOR THE TALKIES

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 4011, 4 August 1931, Page 7

HOW TO LAUGH FOR THE TALKIES

AN ENGLISH JOURNALIST VISITS A VOICE TEACHER’S STUDIO “ Mow laugh,” ordered the voice teacher, a dapper little man with a rich and fruity baritone. " I can't. I don't feel funny,” I explained pathetically (writes an English journalist ). •• Have you heard the one about the three Irish commercial travellers?” asked the voice leather. “ Go on," I agreed. Ho told the story extremely well. •• HAW HAW,” I roared. “ HAW HAW ... he ho he he lie!” I have that sort of laugh, ft starts with a Rabelaisian bellow, rich and thunderous, and then suddenly tails off into a thin giggle of such sickly shrillness that people wince and begin 10 converse hurriedly about their dead relatives, income tax, tropical diseases, and anything likely to slop me. “ You have had a bad laugh,” said the voice teacher calmly. “ Quite untrained and uncontrolled, of course. You must learn to sing your laughter. Listen to this; Ha Ha, Ha Ha, HO HO HO, Ha Ha Ha!” “ itc He Ho He He He,” 1 squeaked, caught by the infection. ” No—Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, HO HO HO HO, Ha Ha Ha!” instructed the voice teacher, and his laughter swelled and died with the sweet cadence of a muted violin. “Haw Haw Haw!” 1 replied crudely.

“If I were you,” said the voice teacher, I wouldn’t laugh, I’d smile.” This is just an incident in a new industry which has been created by the talkies. Not one man or woman in ten has a pretty laugh. Beautiful women cackle like hens, and strong silent men with Ouida jaws pipe like sick infants. A pretty laugh is rarer than a pretty voice, and voice teachers are raking in fat fees teaching stars to laugh beautifully.

The microphone is so delicate that even the little trill of a young maiden may sound like the storming of the Bastille or bison at play. Only two talkie stars have famous laughs —Victor M'Laglen and George Bancroft. M'Laglcu’s meaty bellow and Bancroft’s chuckling roar have made fortunes for them.

One of the most beautiful women on the screen, an actress who is world famous and practically worshipped by a million fans, has a laugh which suggests the efforts of a man to saw through an oak with a nutmeg grater! ‘ The note ‘ la ’ in the ‘ do ray me,’ ” said my voice man, “ is the ideal pitch for a laugh A laugh should rise in a series of popping chuckles—like this: Ha Ha Ha Ha, HO HO HO HO, lla Ha Ha Ha.” ” He He He Ho,” I yelped helplessly. “Stoppit!” snarled my voice man. He told me the types of laugh to avoid. Here they are (1 have titled them myself to make remembering easier) The Adenoidal. —This is the lemony “ Her Her Her, - ’ as if you were laughing with a clothes peg clamped on your nostrils. The Gatling.—This is the short rw.'osive and humourless “ Ha Ha.’ The Kensington. —A fish-blooded “ Tee Hee Hoe,” terminated by “ Oh, really now —no!” The Dying Mule.—This is that long-drawn-out combination of a bray and a bleat, sounding something like ” MairrrrrnT He Haw Clock!”