SAYINGS IN THE ENGLISH COURTS.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 3252, 4 September 1917, Page 2

SAYINGS IN THE ENGLISH COURTS.

"How many vehicles can walk abreast in this street ?" a solicitor asked a witness 111 the Shored'itclv County Court, * * * Charged at Brighouse with defendant, asked why he had y replied:"1 don't like bobbies." * * * "Once we give way to women life is not worth living." said the Willesdett magistrate, recently. "A spoilt woman s worse than a spoilt child." * * * Solicitor (in a compensation case at the Bow County Court): "What will you take?" The Claimant (with a. surprised look): "Nothing now, thank you!" * * * " Read anything—raliont the .weather or the latest in dress fashions —or anything, rather than money-lenders' circulais, L'said the Clerkenjwell County Court judge. * * # "The doctor says you are a chronic drinker, said Mr. d'Eyncourt to a prisoner. "A chronic drinker!" exclaimed the man. "I'm a lmot-repnirer." * * * A\ hen a witness at Greenwich was nsked "What are you?" he answered, "A builder by trade." "And what by occupation?"' asked the chief clerk. " A bookmaker,'" was the reply. * * * „ A- carpenter who was questioned! at the Ipswich Bankruptcy Court as to his method of bookkeeping wlid: — " I used to write the amounts on a board, and when they were pa d I planed tliem out." * # * A witness at Woolwich Police Court was a telephone operator, and Mr. Symnions remarked " It will be quite refreshing to hear a telephone operator s-ryv something more than 'What number did >"011 say?' !> Mr. Nixon (the clerk): "They do sometimei; sav, 'Number engaged!'" * * * A greengrocer who was accused at M arylebone of working a horse in an unfit state, urged that lie drove the animal through nine policemen without being stopped. "You drove over nine policemanP" asked Mr. Plowden, with alstoni>ihnient. "No; 1 drove through them," he replied. "But. that is worse," said Mr. Plowden ; "if you can drive through a policeman you can drive through anything."