A MODERN NAPOLEON.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 3121, 6 April 1915, Page 2

A MODERN NAPOLEON.

ST. HELENA, 1010

01). give llle back those glorious (lavs 1 geiieralled the Huns! (Between ourselves I kept a careful distance from tho gunb.) They toll inc I must alt?r here and be a gentleman. (A rather hold and premature assumption that I can!) To ease my insularity there's neither bird nor game. (I wish I had a Belgian peasant dailyjust to maim!) t Perpetual Eolation is a thing thats rather drear. (But still it's very comforting to know ono's &afer here!) UtheUo's occupation's gone and mino hais, 1 suppose. fld like to hang a Russian or cut off a Frenchman's nose!) The days are long and' bonng for T cannot fish or shoot. (I wi.sh there were a few superfluous chateaux I could loot.) I havo no recreations, I am fairly in the lurch. (I'd love to wreck a library or burn a beastly church.) Upon this lonely island I mglonously caper. . . , (I can't repudiate a single little bit ot paper!) „ , I must not bully anyone; T m here upon the shelf. (If it didn't hurt so much I really tli'JiK I'd kick myself!)

•WHERE CAN HK BE?" Travelling with a dog has its worries, just as travelling with children has. A voung ladv, recently on holiday bent, decided to take her favourite poodle with her. Just as she seated herself in the train, a guard looked in, and remarked: , . , „ '•'Ye canna hae yer dowg in here. "I shall hold him in my lap all the way, and he will disturb no one, she pleaded. But the guard was obdurate. "It's no' allowed," he said. A dowgs maun gang in the brake-van, miss. 11l tie him up for ye." "I will not trust him to you!" she exclaimed indignantly, and, marching off to the van, she tied up the dog herself. At the next stopping-place sho asked hliu :

''ls niv dog all rigid ?" "I'm sure I couldna' say," was the careless reply. " Ye see, ye tee'd him up in a van that was shunted at the last station!''