Page 7 Advertisements Column 5

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2904, 31 January 1911, Page 7

A north- country young man resident in London married an English lady, and shortly after went to visit a bachelor uncle in Scotland. When uncle and nephew were over their walnuts and wine the old gentleman remarked "Weel, Bobby, ye hae gotten a wife !" "Yes, uncle." "What can she do ?" "Do ! What do you mean ?" "Oh, can she sew a button on yer sark, or mak' yer parritch, or do any housework ?" "Not at all, uncle. The servants do all that ; but I tell you what it is ; she has got the loveliest voice you ever heard. She's a grand singer." "Man, could'• ye no' hae gotten a 'canary ?" A young gentleman with a very plain face was rather annoyed because his view of the stage was obstructed by the hat of a pretty girl who was sitting in front of him in the gallery. Wishing to get a glimpse of the performance, he plucked up courage and, in a nervous voice, exclaimed : "See here, miss, I want to look as well as you." "Oh, do yer?" she replied, in a rich Cockney accent, as she turned round and looked at him square in the eye. "Then you'd better run home and change your face." Critic (as the composer plays his last piece): "Very fine indeed. But what is that passage which make the cold chills run down the back ?" Composer: "That is where the wanderer has the hotel bill brought to him." Time is the repeater of all things. -Cygne. 1743.